Living a Life of Mastery and Fulfillment

Rev. Dr. Keith Haney, Host (: 00:01

Well, Mark, welcome to the podcast. How you doing today, my friend?

Mark Collins (: 00:04

I'm doing well. Thanks for having me on.

Rev. Dr. Keith Haney, Host (: 00:07

I'm so glad to have you and to have this important conversation. What you do is really important for the kingdom, so I'm glad to talk to you about how you pour into people's lives and help them to discover what God designed them to be.

Mark Collins (: 00:19

Thanks so much, Keith. Excited for it.

Rev. Dr. Keith Haney, Host (: 00:22

So I'd love to ask my guest this question to kind of get us kicked off and running. What's the best piece of advice you've ever received?

Mark Collins (: 00:30

Wow, that's a great question, you know, obviously as an older person I probably could filter through a lot of conversations I've had You know, I think the best piece of advice is is believe in yourself You know I've you know as we can unpack in our conversation a lot of my early life and you know things I've walked through has brought me to a place of Working in that journey of figuring out who God made me to be and in that place, you know doubt can always come in

But if you believe in yourself, believe in the things that you're created for, a lot of times you'll find the answers that you're looking for.

Rev. Dr. Keith Haney, Host (: 01:08

I love that. And as you think about that, and especially on your journey, what led you to become a pastor and a coach? I'm just curious.

Mark Collins (: 01:16

That is a great question. Well, obviously it's my relationship with Jesus Christ, but really if you want to unpack it even more, gosh, I could start with childhood. So I grew up in a church until I was 12 years old. My dad was in the military, but he was also a Christian. And so we'd go to the local churches when we were at the places we were at, the bases that we lived on. I moved.

six times. We were in five states and one foreign country by the time I was 12 years old. So by sixth grade, we had moved every two years of my life and you had churches in two of these locations. So when we got planted in the final place where he retired, he gave us the opportunity to determine whether we wanted to go to church or not. It was really more tradition and more kind of rules and regulations versus relationship. And so as a young man, I didn't get excited about it and didn't decide to continue in that.

Fast forward to my adult life, moving to California, meeting my wife. I tell people that I married into a family because she had two children when I met her. And in trying to figure out fatherhood and trying to raise the children in a way that made sense and brought some values to them, we started going back to church. She was a person who was Christian as well. And then God started working on my heart. And at 27 years old,

I was in a business association with some people that I really admired and saw in them something I didn't have, peace and joy and those things that I wanted in my life but couldn't figure out how to access. The one thing that they all had in common was they were all Christians. And so God was working on my heart. There was an altar call one Sunday and invited people to come forward who wanted to accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior and so I did.

How does that become a pastor? Well, in trying to figure out life and using my Christian faith and figuring out this young man growing up in a household where he felt like he didn't measure up to his father and dealing with the insecurity and the values or lack of value I felt in doing that, starting to figure out what does that look like for me to be lived out? The person on the inside, right? I'm not sure if some of your listeners have that in their life as well, Keith. It's believing there's more than the life you're living.

Mark Collins (: 03:35

Right? Not necessarily that I wanted to be, you know, wealthy and famous and all those things, but it was the insecurities and the fear of failure and those things that you wrestle with that nobody knows about, you know, in business and in a job and trying to succeed and even in success, those things not going away, but knowing that there was more than what I was living in and seeing it in the promises of God as well. Well, you know, having some experiences and encounters with God that really transformed my life.

got a personal passion for living it out, not to be a pastor, but to really just be, you know, all in on this relationship and figure out what it looks like, right? Believing, you know, as a naive Christian, believing all of the word of God and believing that it's all for me. And so in trying to unpack it in my own life and figure out how to live it out and receive, you know, the promises and the presence and relationship with God, I started to figure out some things in my own life and being able to overcome some of those insecurities, issues and challenges and

for me and maybe same with you, Keith, when you find something that you think is amazing, you wanna share it with everybody you know. And so for me, it was sharing who this Jesus was, what the word of God really says, using it, unlike in my early Christian life, not using it just as philosophy and cool phrases, but using it as instruction to live out. And so I created a course called Life Mastery, I wrote a book, Life Mastery, Living Life by Design. And my passion beyond being an associate pastor at my church is sharing these tools and strategies.

with the people I know so that they can live them out in their lives. So long answer to a very short question. So I hope that answers what you're asking.

Rev. Dr. Keith Haney, Host (: 05:09

No, it's really great because I think sometimes it helps us to get the backdrop as to what the guys working on our hearts to do and leading us to. So you told us kind of what inspired the book. Give us some of the things that challenged you in writing this book of Life Mastery.

Mark Collins (: 05:17

Yeah.

Mark Collins (: 05:26

Yeah, it's a great question. And for me, you know, I don't know if I did it backwards or not. I actually created the course called Life Mastery before I wrote the book. And the reason I wrote the book, at least at some level, was because my mom and my wife told me I should. You know, if you look at people in education, I'm more of a word and language person, less of a math and, you know, science kind of individual. So it's something that I'm created for, something I have, you know, great joy in. So that part wasn't really hard.

f the plans I had moving into: 2020

in in -person and regional and local kind of events and, you know, opportunities, all of a sudden were gone. As an extension from that, one of the things I wanted to do was to make sure that that wouldn't happen again, not because it was something I personally desired, but I wanted to have resources available to people everywhere and at any time. And so the book, Life Mastery, Living Life by Design, was what I wanted to do as a what I call quick start guide, where I've got this course, it's got all the bells and whistles, it's really robust and fully formed.

has all the strategies in it. I wanted to give people something that they could take away, even if they weren't taking the course, even if they weren't on my website or didn't sign up for it, something that they could use today. know, those shortcuts to the success that God has for us. And so that's where I created the book. It has, you know, the tools and strategies and some of those things as well, but it's in a format that gives you the ability to grab some nuggets, some understanding, some strategies and really apply them this week and live them out and find the results.

in this month versus waiting till you decide to sign up for a course or something like that.

Rev. Dr. Keith Haney, Host (: 07:29

So give us the overview of the course for those who don't know the course. Kind of give us the 30 ,000 foot view of kind of what the things you cover in that Life Mastery course.

Mark Collins (: 07:39

Great question, thank you for asking. So I could give you the 30 ,000 level and it would be in this understanding who you're created to be so you can have the life that you're created for. If I could unpack that really quickly. So in my own life growing up, what I tell people is this, you're either living from who God created you to be or what your life told you you were. And I've not found a person yet to be honest Keith, who isn't living from the latter just like I was, right? Growing up in a household with a father who is very strong and you know,

I don't want to say dominary, but he had a real presence in the household that I felt like I could never measure up for. Growing up and coming from that, you get to a place where you are trying to overcome it with the things that you do. Right. And if I couldn't measure up to him, I would measure up in another way. And for me, that's, you know, success in business or my job, that's education, that's athletics, that all the things that we use as a substitute for identity.

And so what life mastery is, is helping to unpack some of those things in people's lives, starting to see that what we're working from is the past that's speaking to us, telling us you can't measure up, you can't do those things. For myself, was, I talked about I'm a language person, not a numbers person. there was a time in my schooling where I was going to have to be held back a year in my grade. It was first grade to second grade. And because I wasn't developed intellectually and educationally,

the teacher had recommended my parents to hold me back. Well, that young man hearing that conversation between his parents and his teacher had this identity statement that came from that, was, you're not as smart as everybody else. They're all smarter, they're all better, you're not as good as. You don't understand that, don't really, you don't state it as a identity statement, but you live it out through the rest of your life. So for me, school was a bit of a struggle growing up.

to the point where you get those classes that you know you're gonna fail the minute you walk in before you even get started. Well, those are those identity statements you live out and it plays itself out in your job, in your business, with your finances, with your relationships because a person of insecurity can't have a secure relationship. So again, you're either looking from who you're created to be or the life, what your life has told you you are. And so for us, it's really unpacking that and saying, who are you apart from your things? That young man that thought he wasn't smart wasn't.

Mark Collins (: 09:58

intellectually, you know, behind everybody else. He was at the moment, but you know, I went on to get a college degree and to do all those things, but still have those kinds of mindsets. See, it's who you saying that you are that you'll become. I tell people all the time who you believe you are, you'll become. And in that place, how do you transform that? Well, you change your thoughts. Proverbs 23 seven, know, we use scripture as foundation for our course says, as a man thinks in his heart, so is he is talking about a rich young ruler who's

saying things, but he's really, his heart is in a different place. He's acting differently than he really is. But in that is an instruction from God that says that, okay, if you're living from the place of who you believe you are, what if you live from the place of who I say you are? And so we start to unpack that with identity, doing an I am statement and some other things. We also bring some tools, some strategies of mastering your thoughts, words and actions. You know, we can unpack those, but it really is giving you transformational tools.

to counteract the lies that you've believed or the things that you've lived through that have made an identity statement that is short of who God says you are.

Rev. Dr. Keith Haney, Host (: 11:04

I love that. We always think that we live in a unique time and a unique age, but it does seem to me that for men, and especially Christian men in particular, these are difficult times to navigate. Tell me why or some of the things you're seeing in terms of transformational changes that you're seeing in Christian men, especially in this culture that kind of seems to be, this is my opinion, that seems to be almost anti -men and anti -Christian men particularly.

Mark Collins (: 11:34

Yeah, and you know, I don't think that's a surprise, Keith, because I believe, and I believe it's shown throughout all of history that if you take out a man, you take out a household. And so the easiest way to destroy a home is by taking the father out of that place. Not that wives and mothers don't have value. My wife is the integral part and the best part of everything I do. I'm better just because I have my wife. But at the end of the day, there's a stewardship and an authority that comes with being a man that can be countermanded.

when you take him out, when you have him struggle. And the honest truth, Keith, is it's the beginning of time. Since the beginning of time, Satan has always attacked men. You know, if you want to go back even to Jesus in Matthew four, when he's got those temptations, right? He's baptized. God says, this is my beloved son in whom I'm well pleased, identity statement. The first thing that Satan is attacking is his identity. And what he says is obviously you already know the scripture. He says, if you are the son of God, turn these stones to bread.

Basically, if you really believe you are that person prove it and we've been trying to do it ever since It's the same lie that Satan tells us today that you're not good enough You need to prove your worth and your value and unfortunately, it's a message. Sometimes the world is giving us So in that place, it's really understanding first off. You're not alone You're not the only man who is hearing those things who is trying to measure up as a husband or a father or a worker or a business owner and Feeling like you're falling short. It's that word imposter syndrome. I talk about it a bit

most people don't understand it really is just saying that I'm not good enough for the roles I'm in. I don't have the value, the worth to do the things I'm doing. I'm not that person of value that I desire. It's the same message I heard as a young man, not explicitly from my father, but in trying to measure up to my father. And then in those places, you know, the things that you fail at, the things that you struggle with just reaffirm your understanding that you're not good enough. Well, those are all lies. And so what we try to do is reverse those and unpack them by first

Understanding who you're created to be and then having your thoughts measure up I tell the guys that I work with your thoughts are either aligning with who God says you are or they're lying to you and If they're lying to you then we need to change those thoughts to align with what God says and we have some tools and things that we do But it's a common Not want to say struggle. It's a common lie that men believe That we have the opportunity to overcome business owners guys in their household I mean, I'm seeing changes in all sorts of things for men where they're

Mark Collins (: 13:59

their business now of a sudden isn't their identity. And because it isn't their identity and they're capable beyond it, they're flourishing and it are in the relationship where they're not guarded against the hurts and the issues and the struggles of their past, right? Those past relationships and forming future ones. So in that place, they're not being guarded and building up their walls around their relationship with their wife and their children, but they're actually being engaged and they're unavailable because they're confident in who they are.

And because of that, they can be confident in those relationships.

Rev. Dr. Keith Haney, Host (: 14:31

I've seen several surveys that says one of the things that young people or people in general struggling with most is understanding their purpose, reason why they exist. So how do you help men discover and unleash their calling?

Mark Collins (: 14:42

Yeah.

Mark Collins (: 14:46

Yeah, that's such a great question. I get that a lot and I get it because just like with myself, I mean, just to be totally honest, Keith, we're still trying to identify with our position, our role, our, you know, I want to be a person of value. And in my instance, what I tried to do to gain and be that person of value was have business success and, get my college degree and become a

You know, even a pastor at some level, right? You have the title and that role of authority and you feel like, okay, now I'm a person of worth. And the truth of the matter is, well, first and foremost, you were that person of worth before you did anything. And the second thing is if you're relying on roles and positions and titles to become a person of worth, then you're really allowing those things to own your identity.

So what we're really doing when we work in our course isn't trying to say, okay, so you have a calling and let's figure out your vocation and your role and those titles, right? Because those things are an outworking of who you are. They're not who you are. So what I find with the men I work with and myself included, when you start to understand your created value, when I start trying to understand my identity, and for us, I mean, really quickly, that means that we write an I am statement. Who am I apart from the things I do? As a Christian man, I invite them, start the conversation with God and say, hey, God, who am I?

Who did you make me to be? And write it down. If you don't write it down, you won't remember it. And if you won't write it down, you won't recite it. And if we won't write it down, you won't live it. And so in those places, we write these IM statements. We have a celebration list. We have an accomplishment list. What are you celebrating about you? I tell them to write 20, I wrote 100. Why do you write it down? Because we are very bad at celebrating who we are. But in finding the things in myself to celebrate, I see God in them.

I tell people this all the time, anything that was a part of me was first a thought of God. And so when I start to celebrate, you know, my character and my humor and my intellect and all those things that make me me, now all of a sudden, just like a masterpiece, which God calls us, just like a masterpiece, I see the intricacy and the intimacy and the purpose with which God made me. And because of that, that relationship grows.

Mark Collins (: 16:58

So for the guys I work with, the short story is really this, Keith, I don't help them find their calling, I help to find them in their calling. Because in that place, they start to figure out, okay, well, now that I know who I am, now I know the direction of path, the title and the role. I use the Bible all the time and one of my favorite guys is Gideon, a man of God who was hiding from the enemies of God, doing work for his family, it's in Judges 6, and an angel comes down and says, greetings, mighty man of valor to a young man who is in hiding, literally in hiding.

And in that place, he gave an identity statement that Gideon didn't believe. And then he told them that he was going to save his people from the enemies of God and played that out in those times. What I tell the people that I work with is I've never seen a person in scripture yet who God hasn't told them who they were and then told them their calling in life. And the truth of the matter is they were the answer to the circumstance they're walking into, just like every man I work with. You're the answer to the issues you're walking into. It's not something you need to add to you.

It's not some sort of education you need to make after it doesn't mean you don't try and gain knowledge and all of those things you need to be, you know, exceptional in your role. But what it does mean is you're the answer. And so whatever role I'm at, whether it's in a job or a business, I understand that there's an impact that's meant to happen in this role, this job, this, this thing that I'm doing because I'm there. And when you start to unpack that and understand that now you start to see, okay, now I start to see where God's guiding me and what he's doing with me.

instead of reaching out for a role to prove who I am, we invite them to be who you are and those roles will unfold themselves, those jobs, those directions, those callings. Because at the end of the day, as is the title of one of the chapters in my book, your characters you're calling. It's not the role that you're in. As a pastor, I'm not a pastor because I have a title, I'm a pastor because I invest in people and want their best and try and give them the tools to get there.

It's the same in my role when I have a job. It's the same in my role as a business owner. Those titles have changed. My character hasn't. Who you are is what matters. And when you start to live out that place, now all of a sudden your success starts to become fulfillment. Success is just being good at a task. Life mastery is being good at your life. And fulfillment is the way to get there.

Rev. Dr. Keith Haney, Host (: 19:18

I'm glad you said that. As I look at your, we talked about, sorry, I'll talk about identity. To me, and this is gonna get me in trouble, I'm sure some people, but the greatest attack I see today on individuals in our society is this idea of identity. And we're trying our best to, or society, I should say, is trying to confuse people on the issue of identity. I hear so much about identity. And if we can...

mess up your view of your identity. We can kind of mess up what God has created you to be, which is that masterpiece. So how do you, in your work with men, define identity?

Mark Collins (: 19:54

Yeah.

Mark Collins (: 20:00

Yeah. And that's, that's a great question. Identity is who you're created to be. So it isn't a role and just let's be honest. It isn't a sex. It isn't a gender. It's, it's who you are. And what I find with the people I work with and I see lacking in society is because I don't believe in who I am again, value worth and, and, and, and, know, created value apart from those things, my world has to make up the difference. And so, because I'm not happy where I'm at again,

Understanding who you're created to be now all of a sudden something else has to change outside of me You have to call me something different. I have to act something different I have to change something about me on the outside when I'm not really dealing with the hurt on the inside and So for me with the guys that I work with it really comes down to who are you created to be? Right, of course society is tacking identity because if you want to you know Hamstring somebody from the life that they're created for allow them to believe there's something different

And again, that's from the very beginning. What Satan did to attack Jesus, if you really are the son of God attacking his identity, then all of a sudden you can start to say, okay, well now I need to prove it. Well, that didn't work. Now I need to prove it. And so for me, you know, if you take it to my business and my relationships and the things I did to try to succeed because I was in confident in who I was, my business, my role, my relationship with my wife had to make up the difference. If you don't know who you are, the world has to make up the difference.

If you do, then the world doesn't matter. Not that you don't engage with it, but that you are secure in who you are apart from it. So whatever changes on the outside, you're okay on the inside. As long as I'm confident in who I am, I'm everything I'm supposed to be.

Rev. Dr. Keith Haney, Host (: 21:43

I love going back even farther. then I love going back to the first temptation when Satan says to Eve, Adam and Eve, because we obviously get Adam was there too. Your identity is missing. Something is not quite right. You could be more. God is limiting you. So if you just take this fruit and eat this, you can change who you are. You can improve your identity. You can be more than you are.

Mark Collins (: 21:48

Yeah.

Mark Collins (: 21:53

Yeah.

Mark Collins (: 22:02

Yes.

Rev. Dr. Keith Haney, Host (: 22:11

And as always, I think the temptation we fall for is, like you said, what you were created to be isn't enough. There's something more out there for you. And so we lose sight of, we were securing who we were created to be, we wouldn't need the more or the other or the different definition. So I'm curious, can you share with us, because we always love success stories, maybe a transformation, a story of a man you work with that really stands out to you from the work you've done?

Mark Collins (: 22:26

Yeah.

Mark Collins (: 22:40

Yeah, I think there's two that, know, obviously out of all the people I've worked with, it comes down to really two categories, I think. In the broad categories, it's either business or its relationship, right? In my job and my role as whatever it is in a business owner or what have you, or it's, the family and those things, right? Those are the areas where in most cases, at least with the men I work with, those are the flags that are being raised that, hey, something's wrong here, I'm not happy.

for one of my guys, Brett, he was in business and very successful, six, seven, eight figure business deals that he was working with. And from the outside, looked great. He was also a bivocational. So he was a pastor as well as a business owner. And so me as a friend of his, you look at him and you're like, okay, well, you have all the success that everybody would want. You have the vocational success, you have the great family, you have a stable household, you have all those things that all of us would say, well, shoot, that's the American dream.

Come to find out though, like myself in my own business ownership, he was successful in business while at the same time dealing with this fear of failure, this imposter syndrome saying I'm not good enough, right? Every deal that didn't work out, every financial downturn was just another indication that I'm not good enough, I'm failing, right? Not that everybody would know it. You know, a lot of times, of course, as men we hold those things in, it's those internal dialogues, it's the thing that wakes you up at three in the morning when nobody's, you know, paying attention.

you know it's there, but nobody else does. And Brett was one of those people where he had success in business, but his success really wasn't a place of fulfillment and joy. It was a relief that he didn't fail this time. And it was this kind of hamster wheel effect of every time something happened, right? It's if you don't know who you are, the world has to make up the difference. The problem is the world has to be perfect to make up that difference. Otherwise when struggles are happening with business or...

this deal may not go through or this thing may not happen. Now all of a sudden it's, what am I going to do? This is gonna be horrible. And that internal dialogue that all of us go through, walking through life mastery and packing what his identity was, understanding that he was good enough before he began and he'll be good enough in the end. Meaning that my success and failure in business isn't an indication of who I am. It's just an outworking of the activities that I do. And so I don't have ownership of it. I just have ownership of my activity in it.

Mark Collins (: 25:01

And with him that meant that now all of a sudden, not only could he be brave in the business decisions he was making, be confident in the things he was doing, whether it was in boardroom or conversations or meetings or those things you need to do to drive your business forward, right? Where he was holding back and maybe minimizing the dreams and the things he was going for. Now all of a sudden he could live at the level that God had for him. A lot of times with the men I work with, it isn't that you don't have some level of success.

You you go to your job or your business, you pay your dues, you pay your tithes, you pay your bills. And maybe there's income as well. The problem is there's this man on the inside who is absolutely struggling or challenged every time he tries to do something. And because of that, you don't reach to that level that God has for you, right? It's like that young man Gideon who was a mighty meta -valla that was called to lead his people to victory. Well, what if he...

decided that that was to be able to go for where I'm comfortable. I'm just going to lead my family. Great role, great idea. The problem is that the full impact that God has for you, that life of fulfillment that God has for you, that life of like mastery, as I call it, isn't lived out. And so for bread, was really not that he wasn't successful, that his success mattered. Not because he had more money or more income, even though all of those things happen, it was because now he could finally enjoy it. And the interesting byproduct of that is

his family relationships got better with his wife, with his children, with the people around him, because you know Keith as well as I do. We love to compartmentalize. The problem is you can't compartmentalize your emotions. So that guy who's stressed at work or in the business is the same guy who's stressed at home or disengaged or putting up walls or not wanting to enter into that relationship as the way he family wants him to, because he's still fighting off those demons in his head, those thoughts and ideas he has. So for Brett, was.

from an opportunity to have success, to really have accelerated success, but also actually have success, actually be fulfilled, actually feel like this is really what God is doing, not as a report card against my failure, but an unleashing of who God created me to be. And really quickly, another guy was Vance, who was on that other side, who was the man who was kind of provider in the household and strong figure in his church, but disengaged with everybody.

Mark Collins (: 27:19

You know, kind of man that would have let you in so far, right? And unfortunately it was with his family as well, whether it was his children and engaging with them in the ways that they needed him or his wife and having that communication and honest, open, you know, vulnerability as a relationship with your spouse so that they know you and they know what's going on with you versus you just giving a report card of what happened during your day. So a lot of us are like that. And so for Vance, his area of victory was in actually being engaged in his family, the relational and you know,

family issues of his past, how his past was telling him that you can't trust people, you can't let them in so far. If you let them in, they'll hurt you, right? Again, walking through that identity, understanding who he is, celebrating who he is and the accomplishments in his relationship, being able to live that out in a way where he was actually engaged in his family, where his wife felt like she started to know her husband rather than just have a report card from a coworker. And the kids being able to have a dad that they could trust with all of themselves, the scary stuff, the...

uncomfortable stuff as well as the other regular things versus somebody that they couldn't really engage with or they couldn't really get to know and didn't feel comfortable having him know them. So for him, his household flourished. He was already successful in business and doing those things, but his relationship started to flourish because his confidence in himself allowed him to allow other people to know him and be known by him. As I tell the guys that I work with, if...

in my relationship with my wife, if I don't understand who I am, my wife has to make up the difference. And in the interim, I build up walls to make sure that I don't get hurt. Well, in that place of vulnerability and openness, now all of a sudden that relationship flourished in a way that was amazing, where it was just adequate before.

Rev. Dr. Keith Haney, Host (: 29:02

I love that. I'm curious as you work with all these different people

Are there some common emotional challenges that you see that men are facing and how do you help them overcome those?

Mark Collins (: 29:13

Yeah. Well, the two that I dealt with are the two I see a lot, which is fear of failure. You know, this next thing isn't going to work out or this current thing isn't going to work out, whether it's in your business or in your relationships. And just to be honest, it's not anybody's fault that they're working on these things or walking through these things. Again, apart from knowing who you are, you get your identity from your past. So for like me with schooling and you know, you're not as smart as everybody else. It was a lie. I believed. so

We attack those lies with the truth, with some of the strategies and tools that we have, but at the end of the day, it really comes down to this. It really comes down to, I'm not good enough for where I'm at. Whether it's in marriage or it's in your fathering of your children, or it's in your, you know, working in a role in your church as a volunteer or somebody who's paid in on staff or in your business or job. It's, I'm not good enough for what I'm in and I'm not good enough to actually reach those levels of success that I'm kind of hoping for.

but afraid to reach out to. For me, it's those things and it's those things that guys are kind of keeping to themselves. And so I love conversations like this because men start to realize that, I'm not the only one. And so for courses like ours, Life Mastery, it's understanding, you can live those things out. And the second thing I would say is this, I mean, it's the title of my book, Life Mastery, Living Life by Design, Not by Default. The lie that Satan's told us that a lot of us have believed is that you just have to manage it.

I have to manage my fear. can't really let anybody know and I'm still kind of trying to succeed and stuff and I'm letting my wife in a little bit in relationship, right? But not really given all of me and all in in that it's life by default. So life happens that I respond, but I don't have any control over it. Life by design and what I've seen in the word of God and that we teach in our course and with the book is no, it's a life by design, which means this God's designed you for an impact in the world that you're supposed to have. You're the answer.

to the challenges you're walking into. You're just the person who doesn't know it. So as you start to see who you are, you start to have confidence of who you are in all of these circumstances. It takes work, takes strategies, it takes tools to be able to do that. But the truth of the matter is you're doing it already. What's holding them in back that I work with is the same thing we use to give them victory in their lives as well. It's mastering your thoughts, words and actions. It's changing your thoughts so that they're not the failure that you're pre -recording.

Mark Collins (: 31:29

expecting it to happen and surprised when it doesn't. But there are the victories that you know that you're walking into simply because God made you for it, not because you're great in yourself. But hey, if God made me for a victory, me aligning with it isn't arrogance, it's humility. And so it's working through those things, but it's those fear of failures and that imposter syndrome. I'm not good enough. It's a value statement of who you are that's short of who God actually says you are.

Rev. Dr. Keith Haney, Host (: 31:56

I love that. This is my favorite question to ask my guests. What do you want your legacy to be?

Mark Collins (: 32:04

Yeah, so I think there's two. One is in my family. I want my legacy to be a father that led the way with vulnerability and honesty into all of the things of his life, whether it's emotional health, relational health, spiritual health, or those things, a person that they could look at and find that I wasn't perfect, but I was leading the way towards a relationship with God and a relationship that was me living out who I was created to be.

for myself as a profession and a passion project. I want every man I know to walk in the freedom and the calling that God has for them to understand who they're created to be and to live the life that they're created for, to be unleashed into that life. I want people everywhere to know that. I haven't met a man yet, Keith, to be totally honest, apart from working through strategies and tools and things like our course and our book that they've lived out the life that they're created for, whether it's, you know, don't mean to throw stones, I am a pastor, but.

pastors in the pulpit, CEOs in the boardroom, multi -millionaires that I have conversation with and they're still talking about fear of failure as an ongoing part of their life. I want men to be equipped to live out the life that they're created for and nothing to stand in the way. And so if I can have a legacy of people being able to carry that on in their lives and passing it on to their wives and their children, that would be amazing.

Rev. Dr. Keith Haney, Host (: 33:25

That's great. Where can people find your book, Life Mastery, Living a Life by Design, not by default, and follow you on social media?

Mark Collins (: 33:34

Yeah, absolutely. Well, first and foremost, you can find all of my tools and resources on my website, is freedom -4 -life .net. Freedom -4 -life .net. My course is out there. The book you can purchase there. You can also purchase the book on Amazon. I have a free, what I call, discover tool on my website as well, where you can take 40 quick questions, take your score at the end. It'll let you know, hey, here's where I'm at on my life mastery journey. And here's that next step I can take to move forward in the things that God has for me.

Rev. Dr. Keith Haney, Host (: 33:52

That's great.

Mark Collins (: 34:03

social media, out there on YouTube at underscore freedom for life underscore. I'm on Instagram at underscore freed for life underscore. So I'm on all the socials just so I can provide resources and have conversations with people that need it.

Rev. Dr. Keith Haney, Host (: 34:19

So I'm gonna leave you with this question as we kind of wrap this up today. As you think about what you put together from your life mastery, what's the most surprising lesson you learn while writing this?

Mark Collins (: 34:34

You know, in writing the book and actually living it out myself and providing those tools for other people, think the most surprising thing is how, yeah, I'll say it this way, how easy the life mastery life is. What I tell people and what I've discovered in myself and the people I work with is living from a place of life mastery is easy because it's simply me living from who I'm created to be in every area of my life. And so I don't have to measure up. don't have to work myself up.

I don't have to figure it out. You really just live from who you are. That's who God created you to be and how he's shown throughout all of scripture that he hasn't brought you to a place to give you schooling there. He's already equipped you to succeed there. So yeah, it's living from a place of life mastery is easy. It takes work to get there. The tools and strategies we have will help you do that. But yeah, living from there is easy. Living apart from life mastery is really hard. Because there I have to continue to measure up. I have to continue to fight against the...

I have to continue to make my outside world make up for the insecurity I have on the inside. It's actually an easier life when you live from who you are.

Rev. Dr. Keith Haney, Host (: 35:39

Well, Mark, thanks so much for what you do and for the way you pour into men, I think we, like you said, we are an important part of society and our families, and keeping the picture of God and family together is really kind of lays on us a lot of times, and sometimes we've...

Mark Collins (: 35:48

Yeah.

Rev. Dr. Keith Haney, Host (: 35:56

abandoned that. So I really pray that people will take up that role, that calling that God has given men and call God has given women too is also special. But thank you for what you do and impact your having in people's lives.

Mark Collins (: 35:58

Yeah.

Mark Collins (: 36:10

Thanks so much. really appreciate the conversation with you, Keith. You also.

Rev. Dr. Keith Haney, Host (: 36:13

Have a blessed day.