Transforming Families: Richard Ramos on Winning Your Child's Heart
Richard Ramos joins the podcast to discuss his impactful work in family reconciliation and youth violence prevention through his program, "Parents on a Mission." He emphasizes the critical competition for the heart, mind, and loyalty of children in today’s society, highlighting that effective parenting is essential to countering negative influences. Drawing from his own experiences growing up in a challenging environment, Richard shares how personal growth, emotional maturity, and proper authority can transform family dynamics. He details the six foundational principles he teaches parents, including the importance of discipline, reconciliation, and community building. Richard's mission is to equip parents with the tools they need to nurture healthy relationships with their children, ultimately fostering stronger communities.
Richard Ramos, founder of Parents on a Mission, discusses the importance of healthy parent-child relationships and parents' role in shaping their children's lives. He emphasizes the need for authenticity and personal growth in parenting and shares the impact of mentors in his own life. Ramos explains the mission of Parents on a Mission and the principles they teach, including personal growth, proper use of authority, discipline, reconciliation, community building, and loyalty. He also discusses his book and training programs for parents and youth mentors.
Richard Ramos, a renowned author and expert on family reconciliation and youth violence prevention, shares his inspiring journey on the podcast. With over 30 years of community service under his belt, Ramos discusses the importance of nurturing healthy parent-child relationships as a means to combat the cycles of violence and dysfunction prevalent in many communities. He emphasizes that the foundation of a strong community lies in strong families, and his program, 'Parents on a Mission,' aims to equip parents with the tools necessary to build these relationships. Central to his message is the concept of authenticity—Ramos believes that being true to oneself is crucial for personal growth and effective parenting. He shares personal anecdotes from his upbringing in a challenging neighborhood, illustrating how his mother’s discipline, his athletic pursuits, and his faith in God played pivotal roles in steering him away from a life of violence and towards a path of empowerment and service. The podcast serves as a powerful reminder that personal transformation can lead to significant community impact, encouraging listeners to reflect on their own roles as parents and community members.
Takeaways:
- Richard Ramos emphasizes the importance of authentic parenting and personal growth to foster healthy family dynamics.
- Parents should understand they are in a competition for their children's loyalty and values.
- Community programs must focus on building strong parent-child relationships to combat youth issues.
- The foundation of a healthy family is emotional maturity and proper use of authority.
- Parents can make a significant difference in breaking cycles of violence and dysfunction.
- Effective parenting involves teaching discipline as a means of guidance rather than punishment.
Links referenced in this episode:
Transcript
My guest today is Richard Ramos.
Host:Richard is a published author, an international leader in the field of family reconciliation, youth violence prevention and intervention.
Host:Over the last 30 years of his community service, he has received several accolades and awards, including recognition by the White House Administration, the United States Congress, the California State assembly, and induction into the Morehouse College, Martin Luther King Jr.
Host:International Chapels Board.
Host:Welcome, Richard, to the podcast.
Host:Well, Richard, welcome to the podcast.
Host:How you doing today, my friend?
Richard Ramos:I'm doing good.
Richard Ramos:Thank you for the invitation.
Richard Ramos:I appreciate it.
Host:I'm looking forward to talking, having you on.
Host:You got some good content and some, some amazing things that God's doing through you.
Host:So I want to get a chance for you to share that with my audience.
Richard Ramos:Yeah, I've been mentoring parents for a number of years now, and that's my primary focus.
Richard Ramos:I've done other things.
Richard Ramos:I've created nonprofits and done national work, intern, international work, et cetera.
Richard Ramos:But right now, Parents on a Mission is the name of my program and the name of my book.
Richard Ramos:And I'm just working towards what I believe is the most important thing in communities, and that is the healthy home and healthy parent child relationships.
Host:Yeah, that's good.
Host:We're going to get to that.
Host:I like to ask my guests this question to kind of get to know you a little bit better.
Host:And it's my favorite question.
Host:It's my go to question.
Host:So what's the best piece of advice you've ever received?
Richard Ramos:I think that probably to be authentic, to be true to myself, to be who I am, not to try to be somebody else, not to use somebody else's script, not to copycat, you know, to be the authentic me and that I have an authentic voice and message to share and that usually that's the best thing I can do to develop and help other people is just to be myself and be true to that.
Host:I love that.
Host:That is so good.
Host:I'm curious for someone like you said, I read your bio.
Host:You've been very accomplished.
Host:But I always know that we don't get where we are in this world without, first of all, God being behind us, but also him putting into our lives people at certain points in times to help us along the way.
Host:Who were some people in your life who have been mentors for you or guides for you along your journey?
Host:Just kind of tell us what made them special and if you want to give their name and tell me if you can give them a shout out, you can do that.
Richard Ramos:Yeah.
Richard Ramos:Well, in particular would be Pastor Ruben Raina.
Richard Ramos:He was, is, but was More my pastor for many years, starting back in the early 80s.
Richard Ramos:And then I, we've, you know, he's kind of gone another way and I started doing this work.
Richard Ramos:So I don't see him as much as I used to, but he was in my life and I followed him and his tutoring of me, mentoring of me, role modeling for me, a Christ life, Christlike life, reaching out, evangelizing, and all the different things that go into being part of the church.
Richard Ramos:So I definitely would have to shout out to him and give him a lot of credit after that.
Richard Ramos:I always share with people that a lot of the mentors are what I call book mentors.
Richard Ramos:These are people I've never met, but people like John Maxwell and Stephen Covey, Rabbi Friedman, Jack Canfield, I mean, these are people and I could name any more Ryan Holiday, I mean, I could go on and on and on.
Richard Ramos:But their principles that they shared on leadership and the principles of personal growth and emotional intelligence and things like that, I have to give them credit.
Richard Ramos:Even though I never met them, but I bought and studied diligently all other books, what used to be called cassette tapes, you know, we used to use those and listen to those.
Richard Ramos:So I have to give them credit.
Richard Ramos:Other than that, there's been other people.
Richard Ramos: zation that I created back in: Richard Ramos:But I gotta say, in many ways he mentored me.
Richard Ramos:In many ways we've mentored each other, I suppose we grew up together for 20 years and recently I just turned over the organization to him.
Richard Ramos:So I would.
Richard Ramos:Richard, his name was Richard Morales.
Richard Ramos:He lives in Colorado Springs.
Host:That is so neat and neat that you can kind of remember those people in your, in your life.
Host:So let's get into your background and what led you to find to become the founder of Parents on a Mission and Youth on a Mission.
Host:Because I think that's a critical topic, especially in today's society and culture.
Host:I'm just kind of curious, how did you develop that?
Richard Ramos:Yeah, I grew up in Northeast Los Angeles, you know, very gang infested drug, you know, all the typical stories that we all hear about in these big major cities.
Richard Ramos:And that was very influential in my life when I was a young boy.
Richard Ramos:It's hard to escape those things when you're in the neighborhood.
Richard Ramos:But the thing about it is that even though a lot of these guys try to glorify it, you know, there's nothing glorified to glorify it is a lot of death, a lot of violence, a lot of loss of friends.
Richard Ramos:And those things stuck with me.
Richard Ramos:My escape from those things was, I always say, three things.
Richard Ramos:One was my mother, a single mom raising five children by herself in the barrio of northeast Los Angeles.
Richard Ramos:But she was a disciplinarian and didn't put up with a lot.
Richard Ramos:So that always helped me and my brother, three older sisters, we all did go off the rails, but ultimately, what you plant is what you reap, and she put some good stuff in.
Richard Ramos:Secondly, I was an athlete, and by the time I got to high school, I realized I had to choose one or the other.
Richard Ramos:Although I still continued, you know, using drugs and hanging out with the homies when I would go home.
Richard Ramos:But I knew that I had to dedicate myself.
Richard Ramos:And I ended up playing college football, baseball.
Richard Ramos:And so that became this thing that really helped me just kind of decide that I didn't want to live that lifestyle anymore.
Richard Ramos: the Lord came into my life in: Richard Ramos:So those things caused me to realize, how can I give back?
Richard Ramos:You know, I see still and even today, the same thing going on, the same cycle of violence, dysfunctional families, broken homes, drug use, dropping out of school, kids getting pregnant, all these kind of things.
Richard Ramos:So I just had a.
Richard Ramos:I just got to give the Holy Spirit and God credit for putting a burden in me.
Richard Ramos:Sometimes I wish he didn't, you know, but you can't ignore it.
Richard Ramos:And led me to, you know, what I'm doing today.
Richard Ramos:Of course, it took many years, but I can tell that story, too.
Richard Ramos:But ultimately, to answer your question, I think my background and having experienced loss.
Richard Ramos:My father died when I was 18.
Richard Ramos:He was an alcoholic.
Richard Ramos:I experienced a lot of domestic violence with him and my home, and my mother finally made him leave.
Richard Ramos:So those kind of things stick with you, or at least they did with me.
Richard Ramos:And ultimately, after my sports career, I felt like I wanted to give back.
Host:You know, my ministry has been interesting because mine was.
Host:My hope was when I got.
Host:When I graduated from the seminary was to go work in college ministry with college kids.
Host:That wasn't where God sent me.
Host:God sent me to Detroit, inner city Detroit, sent me to inner city St.
Host:Louis, inner city Milwaukee, and then working in the Chicago area.
Host:And it was frustrating for me because there are so many misconceptions about that lifestyle.
Host:And what I hear from people who don't understand it is, well, why don't they just leave if they don't really like it.
Host:Why don't they do something different?
Host:And it's so frustrating because it's like, if people.
Host:No one wants to live like that.
Host:No one chooses to live in bad neighborhoods, chooses to be dealing with crime.
Host:No one chooses to have their kids go off the rail.
Host:And I just had a guy on my.
Host:Did a podcast with a guy who's trying to help people in places like you're describing now, and his idea was, let's give people basic income.
Host:And, and we'll, we'll, we'll come in and we will, you know, give them free childcare.
Host:I'm like, but are you moving them out of the neighborhood?
Host:Are you just doing.
Host:I mean, I don't, I don't get the whole plan here.
Host:I'm like, how's that work?
Host:And so I'm kind of curious.
Host:You and I have both kind of been there.
Host:What misconceptions have you run across in working in this.
Host:This area that people need to hear who don't understand the under.
Host:Truly understand the situation?
Richard Ramos:Well, I like to put it.
Richard Ramos:One of the metaphors I always use is this thing about traffic.
Richard Ramos:You know, in la, traffic is horrendous and like a lot of other places.
Richard Ramos:So what's the answer?
Richard Ramos:More, you know, more lanes, more construction.
Richard Ramos:And for some reason, people, it's like, what we need is more information.
Richard Ramos:Really.
Richard Ramos:I don't, I don't.
Richard Ramos:If more information, if more police, if more parks, pools and playgrounds, if more prisons, if more principals of high schools and probation officers, if more of all of that was the answer to these problems, we would have solved these problems a long time ago.
Richard Ramos:So this misconception of more.
Richard Ramos:Well, what they need is more jobs.
Richard Ramos:They need more playgrounds, they need more sports, they need more education, they need more counselors and more psychiatrists and more pills and more, more, more, more.
Richard Ramos:What they need is more parents on a mission who understand the importance of their relationship and winning the attachment and loyalty of their children.
Richard Ramos:And therefore, that serves as a inoculation, if you will, a vaccination of integrity.
Richard Ramos:And because you're putting that within the soul and the heart and the spirit of your children, then they can go out to where all the toxins are, all the environment of gangs, drugs, violence, and all the rest of it, and be a light in the darkness.
Richard Ramos:And they can walk in that path even though they're surrounded by all those toxins, they've been inoculated with something more powerful.
Richard Ramos:And that, to me, is what's missing.
Richard Ramos:It's in the home that's missing.
Richard Ramos:All these other things are fine programs and sports and all these things are great.
Richard Ramos:But again, obviously, it's not enough.
Richard Ramos:Otherwise we wouldn't be having so many of these problems that we see.
Host:I love that.
Host:And that's the thing I think that's missing is it's not about more dollars here or more money here, because we're throwing money at a lot of these problems, and they just keep getting worse, and we keep getting worse and worse examples of how to fix it.
Host:I'm like, stop.
Host:Just stop and actually talk to the people that you're trying to help and listen to what they're telling you.
Richard Ramos:Yeah.
Richard Ramos:You know, Keith, poor people can be happy.
Richard Ramos:Poor people can be successful.
Richard Ramos:Ultimately.
Richard Ramos:You know, I grew up.
Richard Ramos:I always say, when I.
Richard Ramos:When we went to the store, my mom didn't pay with money.
Richard Ramos:She would rip coupons out of a book, you know, food stamps.
Richard Ramos:But, you know, we were, you know, relatively poor.
Richard Ramos:But again, my mother put something in me that was more valuable than money.
Richard Ramos:And again, I'm not saying we don't need money.
Richard Ramos:I know we, you know, we need money.
Richard Ramos:I mean, you know, who doesn't want more money?
Richard Ramos:But it's obviously not the solution.
Richard Ramos:It's a help if you know what to do with it.
Richard Ramos:But poor people can make it.
Richard Ramos:Single mothers can raise children to be successful.
Richard Ramos:My.
Richard Ramos:What?
Richard Ramos:My brother and I and my sisters are a prime example of that.
Richard Ramos:So, yeah, there's a lot of misconceptions about how do you help people struggle out of poverty, out of drugs, out of gangs, out of violence, out of tough neighborhoods?
Richard Ramos:Well, like you said, they can't all afford to leave.
Richard Ramos:But there's something else you can do, and it starts in the home.
Host:I love that.
Host:So let's talk about your book.
Host:What inspired you to write your book and give us a title of your book?
Richard Ramos:Yeah, the name of my book is Parents on a Mission.
Richard Ramos:How Parents Can Win the Competition for the heart, mind, and loyalty of Their Children.
Richard Ramos:And what I say, my primary message to parents in America and in the world, really, because I've seen it work in international circles as well.
Richard Ramos:You are in a daily competition for the heart, mind, and loyalty of your child or your children.
Richard Ramos:And if you don't understand that, you're not even in the game.
Richard Ramos:And you need to get in the game to take the loyalty of your child for granted, especially these days with social media influencers that are luring children away from your family values.
Richard Ramos:You need to wake up mom and dad and we cannot escape the 247 bombardment of information through music, movies, magazines, and social media.
Richard Ramos:That is never going to stop.
Richard Ramos:We all know.
Richard Ramos:So I wrote my book to extend my message so that I could reach more people.
Richard Ramos:One guy, you know, this helps.
Richard Ramos:Speak.
Richard Ramos:Thank you so much for allowing me to speak here.
Richard Ramos:But I wrote the book because of all the trainings I've done through throughout the country and Canada, Guatemala, and now El Salvador, it's still not enough.
Richard Ramos:So I figured if people cannot attend my training or if they cannot attend the classes by the people that I've trained, there's a book, and anybody can get that book.
Richard Ramos:So that's why I wrote it, to extend the message to more people.
Host:You've also been involved in programs to kind of help the parents on a mission become more than just a book.
Host:But some practical things.
Host:How do these programs address the challenges that parents and young people are facing today?
Richard Ramos:I think, as I already said, to address the challenge of who's going to win the loyalty of your child.
Richard Ramos:You know, it doesn't have to be gangs.
Richard Ramos:It could be another person.
Richard Ramos:It could be a drug.
Richard Ramos:It could be so many things.
Richard Ramos:And I think that the values that we give our children, they're not being support.
Richard Ramos:Well, I'll say in many cases, with public education and different things going on in government, our values are not being supported.
Richard Ramos:And so for me, that's where I think the work has to be done.
Richard Ramos:You know, Henry David Thoreau has a saying that it's really stuck with me over the years.
Richard Ramos:He said, for every thousand men that are striking at the leaves of evil, one is striking at the root.
Richard Ramos:And I believe that parents on a mission and youth on a mission and the work that we're doing there is striking at the root of so many problems that we see in our country today.
Richard Ramos:And so, you know, for me, that's the solution is again, within the heart, within the home.
Richard Ramos:And I'm trying my best to provide that solution through what I call mentoring programs.
Richard Ramos:So what I do, I train parent mentors, and I train youth mentors.
Richard Ramos:I wrote a curriculum of youth leadership, and I wrote a curriculum for parent leadership.
Richard Ramos:And then those people attend my training, and then they take that and they teach it in churches, in prisons, in jails, in school districts, and in nonprofit organizations.
Host:When I think about youth leadership and youth mentors, one of the things that always stuck out to me working in the inner city was it's so important for the mentors to stay for a long period of time.
Host:You do so much damage when you come into a child's life, they get attached to you and then you're gone.
Host:And so I always was very, very careful with the mentors and the men that, and the people that I chose to bring into that community because I told them you have to stay long term because this is not a short term, you know, check off a six week box and you're done.
Host:This is, this is a long time, long term mission.
Host:So how do you, how do you encourage people to think about it in a, in a much longer period of time than we typically do things?
Host:We're very much, you know, clickbait society where it's like, you know, we're a video society.
Host:So we like our news quick and like to move on to the next thing.
Richard Ramos:I think it's because the people that we're recruiting to attend the training, there are people that have been there in the community long before I came around and they're going to be there long after I go.
Richard Ramos:For example, I just left El Salvador, I was in El Salvador or this last weekend.
Richard Ramos:And these are people, they've been working with, these young people for, you know, decades.
Richard Ramos:So they are committed to the community.
Richard Ramos:And it's the same here in the United States.
Richard Ramos:Most of the people that we train are, they've been there for years, either through a nonprofit or a church or a teacher or school and other community leaders.
Richard Ramos:It's true that some of them, the younger ones are, it's possible that they will go on and move on to other things.
Richard Ramos:But a lot of the people that are in our training, they're a little more mature and they're a little more stable and I look for that before.
Richard Ramos:Exactly what you said because these young people need that stability and somebody who's going to be with them for more than a year or two.
Host:Yeah, exactly.
Host:As you think about how you're pouring into parents, what skills are you trying to help instill in parents on a mission?
Richard Ramos:Yeah.
Richard Ramos:There's six main principles that we teach.
Richard Ramos:The first one is personal growth or emotional maturity.
Richard Ramos:That is the main thing, the main teaching, the main foundation.
Richard Ramos:I say in order to do all these other things we're going to go through, this is the main thing you have to learn how to grow yourself.
Richard Ramos:Growing up, I should say growing old is automatic.
Richard Ramos:I didn't try to get gray hair, lose my hair and have a gray beard.
Richard Ramos:It just was automatic.
Richard Ramos:But growing up is not automatic.
Richard Ramos:And so when you have a 35 year old man with a 15 year old mentality and then he has children, that's a problem and it's ongoing problem because now you have a 15 year old mentality dealing with a 12, 13 year old kid and it doesn't work very well.
Richard Ramos:So personal growth is a huge part of what we teach.
Richard Ramos:Then we talk about the proper use of authority.
Richard Ramos:And I say that authority, the undermining of the authority of parents or parents who have lost respect for their authority.
Richard Ramos:That is one of the main reasons why kids go astray.
Richard Ramos:And so we teach the restoration of authority and the proper use of authority.
Richard Ramos:We distinguish between the difference between authoritarian parenting versus authoritative parenting, which is a healthy balance of rules and character building versus some flexibility and maturity.
Richard Ramos:Then we talk about the proper use of discipline because a lot of parents in the name of discipline, they're really abusing their children.
Richard Ramos:So I address that.
Richard Ramos:It's very controversial, but to me it's too important to ignore.
Richard Ramos:So we talk about discipline, the true meaning of discipline, which is to teach versus punishment.
Richard Ramos:And we talk about spanking and non spanking.
Richard Ramos:And I do not tell parents whether they should or should not.
Richard Ramos:That is their right.
Richard Ramos:But if you're going to do it, do it correctly and don't call, don't call slapping, punching, kicking and beating a spanking because that's not what it is is.
Richard Ramos:And most parenting classes, I don't know any other parenting classes that teach this, but to me it's too important not to talk about.
Richard Ramos:And then we talk about reconciliation, a skill that all parents must master to learn how to initiate reconciliation and, or admit when you're wrong and apologize to reconcile when you've handled situations and not in a good way.
Richard Ramos:And then we talk about community building, which is really citizenship.
Richard Ramos:And what I tell parents is this.
Richard Ramos:The community does not build your family, your family builds the community.
Richard Ramos:It does not take a village to raise a child.
Richard Ramos:It just takes good parenting.
Richard Ramos:But remember this, one child can raise up a whole village.
Richard Ramos:And we know that through history.
Richard Ramos:One person, Cesar Chavez, Martin Luther King Jr.
Richard Ramos:So you just never know who you're raising.
Richard Ramos:And citizenship is a huge deal that parents have to pay attention to.
Richard Ramos:And the last lesson is on loyalty.
Richard Ramos:As I already said, who's going to win the loyalty?
Richard Ramos:And in that lesson, we teach parents some methods of how to go about winning loyalty.
Richard Ramos:So those are the six foundational principles that we teach.
Host:Those are all really solid things to teach parents because those are all really critical, I think, to turn around the situation that so many parents are dealing with today.
Host:So those are excellent.
Host:I commend you for Those I love to hear success stories.
Host:So is there a story from your work that really stands out to you, that still touches you even today?
Richard Ramos:You know, Keith, I hate to say it, it sounds like bragging, but I have so many stories.
Richard Ramos:I would tell one, but it's just I am so humbled, truly, I'm humbled by the transformation that we've seen just by, you know, one of the principles that we teach in personal growth.
Richard Ramos:The last, there's four steps.
Richard Ramos:The fourth one is forgiveness and the power of forgiving.
Richard Ramos:And when parents just break down and they realize, you know, hey, maybe you've been part of the problem, you know, that you're having with your kids.
Richard Ramos:So one story, I received a letter from a woman, and she said that her family was so broken that if parents on a mission, the teachings had not.
Richard Ramos:The classes actually had not shown up, she would have been put in jail, her daughter would have attempted or committed suicide, her kids other daughter would have been taken away by child welfare services.
Richard Ramos:And she just went on and on about how all they did was argue and fight and yell that they couldn't really even have a conversation in their home.
Richard Ramos:They were always at each other's throat, throwing things and hitting each other and slapping and I mean, just the whole thing that a violent kind of household.
Richard Ramos:So she's writing this all in this letter and explaining to me, you know, then the classes.
Richard Ramos:And then when she started taking the classes, she realized, wow, you know, maybe I'm part of this problem.
Richard Ramos:And then she said, but things were not really changing.
Richard Ramos:But she kept going to the classes.
Richard Ramos:And she said around week number eight, she began to see some change.
Richard Ramos:But she said, but the change was in me started to change.
Richard Ramos:I started to implement the things I was learning.
Richard Ramos:And that's when I saw the change in my daughter.
Richard Ramos:And one of the exercises we give them is to write them a little letter.
Richard Ramos:You know, try writing a letter or just tell your kids how much you love them or for ask them, forgive, whatever.
Richard Ramos:So she did that and she gave it to one of her daughters and just caused a whole breakthrough.
Richard Ramos:So she explains that in the letter.
Richard Ramos:But two things that stuck out to me on this story.
Richard Ramos:Number one, she said at the very end, she said, you may not have realized, you may not realize it, but you saved my family.
Richard Ramos:But here's the blessing of that.
Richard Ramos:Keith.
Richard Ramos:I didn't teach the class.
Richard Ramos:She wrote me that letter because she knew I was the author of the curriculum.
Richard Ramos:But those her classes were taught by other people.
Richard Ramos:I trained in a different city and that is what I call the reproduction, reproducing reproducers or leadership.
Richard Ramos:So I'm reproducing other leaders who can take this curriculum and effectively impart it to these families.
Richard Ramos:And that was what was really a blessing to me was that that transformation happened by people I had trained and certified to teach the curriculum in a different city.
Host:I love that because that really is impact.
Host:So if someone's hearing this podcast and goes, how can I get my hands on this training?
Host:Because I, it's, I think it's something that would really benefit my community, my neighborhood.
Host:How can they do that?
Richard Ramos:Yeah, they just need to go to my website.
Richard Ramos:Richard rramos.com don't forget the middle initial.
Richard Ramos:Richard rramos.com and you can take that training online at your own leisure, at your own time frame and be certified online.
Richard Ramos:So that's an immediate way you can do it.
Richard Ramos:The other way would be to send me an email.
Richard Ramos:And if you wanted me to come in person, which I'm happy to do, you say you have an organization, a nonprofit or a school or something, then we could talk about what that would entail for me to come out personally to wherever you might be.
Richard Ramos:And of course get the book.
Richard Ramos:Read the book.
Richard Ramos:It's on Amazon or it's on my website.
Richard Ramos:You can get the book and the youth on a mission as well.
Richard Ramos:Same thing.
Richard Ramos:That is not an online training yet.
Richard Ramos:So that would have to be an in person training.
Richard Ramos:But the books there on my website.
Host:Richard rramos.com so you've gotten this done.
Host:What's your next major project?
Richard Ramos:Well, three things.
Richard Ramos:One, I'm writing a book now, right now on the art of step parenting.
Richard Ramos:How to blend families without tearing them apart.
Richard Ramos:Because I've been a blended family and stepparent for many years and there's so many different dynamics.
Richard Ramos:So there's a lot of parents out there who are step parents, kids that are part of step families.
Richard Ramos:And there's some dynamics there that I'm going to be talking about in that book.
Richard Ramos:Also I'm going starting a certified master, a master certification program where now I will not be the only one offering this three day training.
Richard Ramos:I'll certify other people to go out and train trainers besides myself.
Richard Ramos:So that'll be probably rolled out later this year.
Richard Ramos:And then I have last year I started an annual conference here, a Parents on a Mission conference here in Santa Barbara, California.
Richard Ramos:So those are my next focuses right now.
Host:That is so neat.
Host:So if I'm, if I want to start this, I Know, there's the training, but how do I, once I've gotten trained, how do I actually start a community program in my community?
Host:Because I, I'm.
Host:I'm one of those people.
Host:It's like, okay, I got.
Host:I got the knowledge.
Host:But are there some best practices that you can share of how you would do it in your community?
Richard Ramos:Yeah, the best way to go about it is to connect with people who already are connected to families, because it's a trust factor.
Richard Ramos:You know, why is anybody going to come to a training if they don't know me, you know, but if I can connect with community members who already have relationship with parents?
Richard Ramos:And so normally you're going to find that in a church, you're going to find that in a nonprofit and schools.
Richard Ramos:Normally, those are the three places where I find the most ready audiences that, you know, that are looking to help parents.
Richard Ramos:And they already have.
Richard Ramos:Matter of fact, a lot of them already have a program, but sometimes they're interested in, well, what are you teaching?
Richard Ramos:And then I'll share, well, this is what I teach.
Richard Ramos:And then they're wanting to embrace that.
Richard Ramos:So if it was somebody like yourself, I would just ask, well, what organizations are you?
Richard Ramos:Do you have relationship with that you could reach out to who are already serving parents?
Richard Ramos:Or if not, if you don't do that, then you yourself would have to reach out like any other business, you know, and just make a cold call or ask for a meeting and sit down and share, you know, your heart and what you want to do and that you have this program, you know, that's a little more difficult, but it can be done.
Host:I love to ask my guests this question.
Host:I love what you're doing, and I love the impact you're having.
Host:What do you want your legacy to be?
Richard Ramos:I want my legacy to be that I was known for reproducing leadership, or as I like to call it, reproducing reproducers, that you are reproducing leaders who know how to reproduce, other leaders to improve the quality of life for all people.
Richard Ramos:I think leadership is a key in producing and reproducing the quality of life, whether regardless of culture, ethnicity, or religion.
Richard Ramos:And again, I believe that the most healthy communities and safe communities are where parents are raising their children to understand the blessing of diversity in communities and not be judgmental or unkind or prejudice in any way.
Richard Ramos:And to me, that's something that comes from the home.
Richard Ramos:And I like people to say that about me when I'm dead and gone, that I was somebody who contributed to Healthy communities like that because of the focus on the heart and the home where children are being raised.
Host:That's great.
Host:As we wrap up our conversation today, what are the key takeaways or call to actions you'd like to share with the audience about making an impact with families in their community?
Richard Ramos:Well, the call to action, since my focus is parents, is your own personal growth.
Richard Ramos:And in emotional maturity, I find that so many of the marriage problems and parent child relationships, it's a lack of maturity.
Richard Ramos:And so I would just challenge you to consider that, to think about it, not to beat yourself up.
Richard Ramos:Nobody's perfect, but can I get better?
Richard Ramos:Can I improve?
Richard Ramos:And if you answer yes to that question, then the second question is, well, how would I go about doing that?
Richard Ramos:So my book is one way.
Richard Ramos:There's a lot of ways.
Richard Ramos:There's all kinds of books you could read online articles on self help, emotional maturity, personal growth, things like that.
Richard Ramos:But I would, I would just encourage you to not stop growing.
Richard Ramos:You know, Keith, a lot of people, what I call, you know, we need to function from our peak potential and answer the question, is my personal potential greater than my personal experience in daily life?
Richard Ramos:And when I heard that question from Stephen Covey, that really challenged me, like, wow, am I living in my potential?
Richard Ramos:Is my potential greater than the experience I'm having in my life?
Richard Ramos:So I, that really challenged me.
Richard Ramos:And I realized that again, some parents, they just flatline, what I call flatlining.
Richard Ramos:They stop growing.
Richard Ramos:Like I said, you know, if you're your age does not measure your maturity.
Richard Ramos:Just because you get older, that doesn't mean you get wiser and smarter.
Richard Ramos:So, you know, a lot of parents, they just stop growing.
Richard Ramos:So that would be my call to action.
Richard Ramos:Just think about, am I, am I really living my best life?
Richard Ramos:Is this the best version of who I am?
Richard Ramos:And if you need a motivation other than yourself, you really should do it for yourself.
Richard Ramos:But if you need motivation, it's for your children.
Richard Ramos:Be the best version of yourself for them so that they can go on and become who they were meant to become.
Host:That's awesome.
Host:So, Richard, again, where can the audience find your book and connect with you on social media?
Richard Ramos:Yeah, please go to richard rramos.com that's my website.
Richard Ramos:I have a personal clone there, an artificial intelligence clone where you can just click on the bubble, ask me any question you want and every answer you get is going to be articles, my books and videos.
Richard Ramos:Everything you get response is going to be from my own material.
Richard Ramos:So that's one thing.
Richard Ramos:So richardrramos.com and then I'm on Facebook.
Richard Ramos:You can always find me on Facebook.
Richard Ramos:I use Instagram.
Richard Ramos:I'm on LinkedIn, so you can look me up on those places.
Richard Ramos:And if you go to my website and if you'd like to just check, have a free chapter, you can check out a free chapter just with an email exchange.
Richard Ramos:You give me your email, I'll send you a free chapter.
Richard Ramos:And there's some other videos there.
Richard Ramos:You can check it out.
Richard Ramos:The work I've done in prisons, there's a video there, so.
Richard Ramos:And whatever questions you have, I'd love to hear from you.
Host:Well, Richard, thanks so much for what you do and your commitment to parents, because to me, families and parents are the future of a stable society and a flourishing society.
Host:So it's really important that we do pour into those lives of those people, because that is the foundation of who we are.
Richard Ramos:I appreciate you having me, Keith.
Richard Ramos:Thank you for the work that you're doing as well.
Richard Ramos:And thank you for this opportunity to get my message out to more people.
Host:Well, blessings, my friend.
Host:You're welcome to come on anytime.
Richard Ramos:Thank you.
