Embracing God's Grace: Strategies for Overcoming Childhood Trauma
Julie Rebboah, a survivor of childhood trauma, shares her profound journey of overcoming emotional abuse, neglect, and familial discord. Despite predictions of a bleak future, an encounter with the Holy Spirit catalyzed a transformative shift in her life trajectory. With her unique blend of lived experience, education, and unwavering Christian faith, Julie is dedicated to assisting others in transcending their inner pain and fulfilling their God-given potential. Her mission encompasses equipping, inspiring, and transforming lives through faith-based mental health and wellness strategies, which she disseminates through her speaking engagements and her podcast, Room to Bloom. We are privileged to welcome Julie to our discourse, where she elucidates the intricate interplay between faith and mental wellness, offering hope and actionable insights for those grappling with similar challenges.
The episode delves deeply into Julie's experiences with childhood trauma, shedding light on the complexities of healing within a faith context. As she reflects on her upbringing, she elucidates the challenges posed by an emotionally abusive parent and the struggle to reconcile familial obligations with personal well-being. In a poignant discussion, Julie emphasizes the importance of recognizing life as a series of seasons, each with its unique challenges and opportunities for growth. This perspective, she argues, is essential for anyone seeking to navigate the tumultuous waters of mental health and wellness. By sharing her own story of transformation, she illustrates how embracing faith and seeking divine guidance can provide clarity and resilience during life's most difficult moments. Her insights serve as a beacon of hope for those grappling with similar issues, reinforcing the notion that through faith, healing is not only possible but attainable, regardless of one’s past.
Takeaways:
- Julie Rebboah recounts her experiences of childhood trauma, including emotional abuse, neglect, and poverty, which significantly shaped her life.
- Despite bleak predictions for her future, Julie's encounter with the Holy Spirit transformed her life's trajectory towards healing and hope.
- With a unique combination of lived experience and education, Julie aims to empower others to overcome their inner struggles through faith-based strategies.
- Her mission focuses on equipping individuals to transform their lives by sharing insights on mental health and wellness derived from her own journey.
- Julie emphasizes the importance of community support and spiritual guidance in navigating mental health challenges in today's society.
- Through her podcast, Julie seeks to address the needs of those affected by childhood trauma, providing a platform for healing and inspiration.
Transcript
Julie is a survivor of childhood trauma and as a result she experienced emotional abuse, neglect, parental divorce and poverty.
Speaker A:Statistics predict that Julie's future was bleak, but encounter with the Holy Spirit dramatically shifted the trajectory of her life.
Speaker A:Because Julie has a powerful combination of lived experience, education and strong Christian faith, she's uniquely positioned to help you overcome inner pain and reach your God given potential.
Speaker A:Her mission is to equip, share, inspire and transform lives through faith based mental health and wellness strategies.
Speaker A:She does this through her speaking engagements and her Room to Bloom podcast.
Speaker A:We welcome Julie to the show.
Speaker A:Well, Julie, welcome to the podcast.
Speaker A:How you doing today?
Speaker B:I'm great, thanks for having me.
Speaker B:I'm so excited to be here.
Speaker A:It's good to have you on talk about these important topics in our life and, and how we can manage them with God's grace through the things that happen to us beyond our control.
Speaker A:So looking forward to talking to you.
Speaker B:Oh yeah, it's such an important topic and unfortunately I think it's one that's not discussed enough.
Speaker B:And so I'm really glad to have this opportunity, you know, to share a little bit about my story and what I'm doing.
Speaker B:Ways to help people, some, you know, family issues or mental health issues with the help of Christ.
Speaker A:Right, Exactly.
Speaker A:Always important to ground that in biblical teaching.
Speaker A:As we get started though, give me the best piece of advice you've ever received.
Speaker B:I would say the best piece of advice that I've ever received was to really view life in seasons.
Speaker B:And that's really helped me because I've had a lot of transitions in my life.
Speaker B:I've, you know, started off in elementary education.
Speaker B:That was one season.
Speaker B:And then as I became a mother, I was a stay at home mom for a while.
Speaker B:And then when they got a little older, then I moved into health and fitness.
Speaker B:And now that I'm an empty nester, God's moving me into the mental health and wellness space.
Speaker B:And so when you look at life, it's is in seasons, then you're always on the right path, even if it shifts from what you expected to do or, you know, a little bit different than what you studied for.
Speaker B:Because we all have so many different gifts and talents that God may want to use in a different way during each season of your life.
Speaker A:That is very true.
Speaker A:And those are helpful too because you do go those, you know, as a young parent, you got that season.
Speaker A:You got the.
Speaker A:As you get older and your kids are moving out and even your parenting changes, you're not there to raise them as much as you're there to kind of guide them and sometimes be a resource for them.
Speaker A:So it's always kind of fun.
Speaker A:But you never stop being a parent, or you never stop being whatever it was you were before.
Speaker A:It just evolves into something new.
Speaker B:Exactly, exactly.
Speaker B:And so just being open to that, you know, you'll never feel like you're feeling or you're going down the wrong path because you can always learn something new that will help you grow and expand and reach, you know, the people that God wants you to reach in that season.
Speaker B:Because we're all here to serve one another.
Speaker A:Exactly.
Speaker A:I'm curious, as you think about your life, who are some people in your life who served as an inspiration for you or even a mentor on your journey?
Speaker B:The number one person is my grandmother.
Speaker B:And, you know, she's this little tiny Mexican American lady, five foot two, very petite, but she is a spiritual giant.
Speaker B:And so, you know, just watching her when I was young, growing up, she was just constantly watching Christian TV programs, listening to radio shows in the Bible, praying over everyone.
Speaker B:And, you know, especially for those who may not feel like their grandparenting is making an impact, I just want to reassure you that it probably is, because kids see, they hear, they witness, and.
Speaker B:And they absorb all of that information.
Speaker B:And so I really feel like she was just a huge spiritual mentor to me.
Speaker B:And she's still alive.
Speaker B:She's 97 years old.
Speaker A:Wow, that's so neat to have her in your life.
Speaker B:Yeah, she's a blessing.
Speaker A:Yeah, it is.
Speaker A:So let's get into your story.
Speaker A:So tell us your story.
Speaker A:Overcoming childhood trauma and how it shaped who you are today and what you're doing today.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So my story begins with being raised by a mother who had an undiagnosed mental illness.
Speaker B:And, you know, with it being undiagnosed, nobody knew what was going on.
Speaker B:And so, you know, her behavior was unfortunately, very emotionally abusive and controlling, manipulative, dominating.
Speaker B:And it affected a lot of things in her life and therefore my life.
Speaker B:For example, my parents divorced when I was 2, and, you know, nobody knew that there was a mental illness at the time.
Speaker B:It's just the behavior that drove a wedge between them.
Speaker B:And so then I ended up with step parents and, you know, life just got more complicated and I didn't really have adequate support, you know, to navigate having a parent who was an authority over me, who was not always kind and supportive and building me up.
Speaker B:And so as an effect, you know, I learned to walk on eggshells and picked up people pleasing as a way to Sort of try to mitigate the chaos at home and make my life a little bit easier.
Speaker B:And so, of course, that affects your relationships as you grow up.
Speaker B:And so that's just a little snippet of my story.
Speaker B:And so now in this season of my life, I'm wrapping up my master's degree in mental health and wellness so that I can use my lived experience and my education to now help others navigate some of these really difficult and important relationships that they've experienced that have, you know, maybe caused them some issues.
Speaker A:I love that, and I love what.
Speaker A:When I look at your bio, one thing that you really made a point of making in your bio was that the Holy Spirit changed the direct trajectory of your life.
Speaker A:So kind of share with us a little bit about that, because a lot of times we have.
Speaker A:We'll have, you know, childhood trauma, and we look at doctors or medication, sometimes self medication or other issues to try to deal with that pain.
Speaker A:But you really made a point of saying the Holy Spirit kind of helped shift the direction you were going, kind of share with us that whole story.
Speaker B:Yeah, well, so I'll have to backtrack a little bit because I was initially raised in a Christian home.
Speaker B:But, you know, after the divorce and I think some church experiences that my mom had, she decided that Christianity was no longer for her.
Speaker B:And so at the age of 11, we began attending, because she had primary custody, we began attending a messianic Jewish church.
Speaker B:And by the age of 12, now, she and my stepfather decided to convert to Judaism in the Reformed tradition.
Speaker B:So now when I'm 12, I find myself in a synagogue with her telling me, you know, trying to.
Speaker B:To sway me and dissuade me from Christianity by saying things like, well, only idiots believe in Jesus because he's really only a teacher and a prophet, and immaculate conception can't possibly be true.
Speaker B:You know, that's just a fantasy.
Speaker B:And, you know, if you worship Jesus, that's actually idolatry, and you don't want to go to hell for that.
Speaker B:And so I was constantly bombarded with these messages and being that I was, didn't have a choice, you know, when I was young to attend synagogue in Hebrew school, you know, I just felt like my Christian foundation was ripped from under my feet.
Speaker B:You know, Christmas was replaced with Hanukkah, and Easter was replaced with Passover.
Speaker B:And so, you know, even traditions and things that we had were no longer there.
Speaker B:And so at the age of 21, I found myself just utterly miserable, trying to please my mom.
Speaker B:But that was an impossible Task.
Speaker B:And so I found myself as a college student, living at home on my bedroom floor, just crying and asking God, have I ever been happy?
Speaker B:When was the last time I was happy?
Speaker B:And in that moment, this holy Spirit washed me over with that peace that transcends understanding.
Speaker B:And in that moment, I knew that God was real.
Speaker B:I knew that without a shadow of a doubt.
Speaker B:I knew that he loved me.
Speaker B:And I knew I would be okay with that piece.
Speaker B:I just didn't know how at the time.
Speaker B:And in that moment, he showed me an image in my mind of me sitting on a church pew of one of the churches we used to attend when I was little.
Speaker B:And so I knew the next step for me was to go to church.
Speaker B:And so, despite my mom, because it actually made our relationship much more tenuous, me saying, you know what?
Speaker B:I'm not gonna do this anymore.
Speaker B:I'm gonna start going to church because I know this is what's right.
Speaker B:And that changed the trajectory of my life because, you know, now I'm saved and I'm in church and I'm in Bible study, I'm in a college group and I'm being fed spiritually.
Speaker B:And I started learning and growing in my faith, even though nothing had changed at home.
Speaker A:Wow, that's powerful.
Speaker A:Tell us a little bit about you work in faith based mental health.
Speaker A:Tell us about how that, what do you do with that and how's that different from just regular mental health stuff?
Speaker A:I know.
Speaker A:Which is a different process altogether Sometimes.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So mental health professionals treat things like PTSD and trauma with things like cognitive behavioral therapy, dialectical behavioral therapy for, you know, intense and overwhelming emotions, maybe EMDR for trauma.
Speaker B:And so they use therapies.
Speaker B:And so what I do is coaching.
Speaker B:And so what I try to do is integrate what's called the eight dimensions of wellness and help people increase their resilience through faith based strategies.
Speaker B:And so these are strategies that are scientifically proven and effective, but that also align with scripture.
Speaker B:And so this way we become more resilient to stress in our lives, we can improve our communication, we practice better self care, we incorporate God into our healing and deepen that connection and relationship.
Speaker B:I help people strengthen relationships and so all of these other things.
Speaker B:So that's sort of the difference between what I do and what a therapist might do.
Speaker A:So you said there are eight steps, right?
Speaker B:I think you said there are eight dimensions of wellness.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:And so I'll just give you an idea of what they are.
Speaker B:And so there's like a.
Speaker B:If you imagine a pie with eight different slices in it.
Speaker B:There will be social wellness, which are your relationships.
Speaker B:Emotional, spiritual, financial, environmental, which is your surroundings.
Speaker B:Now I'm going to forget my list.
Speaker B:My list that I went down.
Speaker B:Anyhow.
Speaker B:There are eight dimensions, and they all interrelate.
Speaker B:And so if one piece of the pie is out of whack, it's going to affect all of the other dimensions negatively.
Speaker B:And so I'll give you an example.
Speaker B:So I think financial is probably something most.
Speaker B:Most people can understand.
Speaker B:And so I like to use an example of a guy I call Average Joe.
Speaker B:So Average Joe, he, let's say something happened to his finances and they're strained, and he's worried about making rent, maybe about making his car payment.
Speaker B:So what does he do?
Speaker B:He's not sleeping at night because he's stressed out.
Speaker B:Now he might be snapping at people.
Speaker B:So it might be affecting his relationships.
Speaker B:He may not be making wise choices.
Speaker B:Maybe yelling at somebody at the grocery store for something small or a road rage, you know, just those emotions coming out.
Speaker B:He might start cutting back on healthier food choices, maybe his gym membership, if he had one.
Speaker B:So now it might affect his physical health as well, in addition to the lack of sleep.
Speaker B:And so you can see how it begins to trickle into the other areas of wellness.
Speaker B:But the good news is that by working on one dimension, you can begin to positively influence the others.
Speaker B:So it works the same way but in the opposite direction.
Speaker B:So let's say he works on, you know, prayer.
Speaker B:So now he's got, you know, scriptural guidance for maybe next steps.
Speaker B:He's seeking wisdom from the Holy Spirit for making some sound choices.
Speaker B:Maybe the Bible's correcting, like, ooh, I guess I need to keep my tape, my temper in check and just doing a little convicting there.
Speaker B:And so now it's positively influencing some of those other areas that he was struggling with when the finances were out of whack, even if he doesn't start bringing in more income immediately.
Speaker A:As you think about your own journey, I'm curious, because people may have been maybe kind of experiencing what you experienced before.
Speaker A:What were some of the biggest challenges you faced in trying to make that adjustment in your life from the trauma you had before.
Speaker B:I'm not sure I understand your question entirely.
Speaker A:Well, I'm thinking, as you know, you talked about the fact that you were kind of, when you were in the Jewish faith, and you were kind of trying to kind of realize that you had the childhood trauma.
Speaker A:As you began to make that shift to getting healthy, what were some things you ran across that Were struggles for you as you were making getting toward being more healthy?
Speaker B:Yeah, I would say one of the biggest obstacles for me was trying to wrap my head around how do you honor a parent?
Speaker B:Because the one of the ten commandments is to honor your mother and father.
Speaker B:And how do you do that with a person who is continually emotionally abusive to you?
Speaker B:And in some people's cases, it might be physical or sexual abuse.
Speaker B:That's a really difficult thing.
Speaker B:And there is no escape clause in the Bible for that.
Speaker B:There's no, well, unless this happens.
Speaker B:Unless that happens.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:You know, there's no escape clause.
Speaker B:And so.
Speaker B:And then especially coming from a family where there was a lot of guilt and manipulation, the.
Speaker B:The teaching on honoring your mother and father became, well, that means doing everything that I say, even as an adult.
Speaker B:And if you disagree with me now, you're being dishonoring and you're being actually abusive.
Speaker B:And so I really had to distinguish between what honoring a parent was, which is being respectful and helpful and kind, and being obedient without question, because the Bible says in Galatians 1:10, I'm not trying to win the approval of people, but of God.
Speaker B:If people pleasing were my goal, I would not be Christ's servant.
Speaker B:And so there is a distinction in there between honoring, but making sure that pleasing God is your number one priority and not people, even if they are a mother and father.
Speaker B:So that's, you know, a really difficult thing.
Speaker B:I think maybe the most difficult thing that people who face childhood trauma, who are Christians, have to grapple.
Speaker A:Exactly.
Speaker A:I notice today's society is a lot more stressed than they have been before.
Speaker A:What are you seeing as maybe a common connector with your clients today, just kind of making their way through the difficulties of life?
Speaker B:I think a lot of people, from what I've seen, and I know, you know, we've had Covid, and so, you know, depression's up a bit, anxiety is up a bit.
Speaker B:People seem very disconnected and lonely.
Speaker B:And I think Covid does have something to do with that.
Speaker B:And so I think when we get better connected with God and we have that really close and personal relationship with him, we receive his guidance for our life path and we are able to have peace because we are co creating a life with him, even when we're going through some storms.
Speaker B:And then the second thing is that a lot of people today are might consider themselves spiritual, but they don't attend church.
Speaker B:And so therefore they're missing out on a huge piece of God's plan for our wellness, which is community.
Speaker B:And so when we get plugged into church, we make friends who have similar values, you know, Christian morals, people who are going to encourage us, who are going to pray for us, who are going to say, you know, hey, maybe you shouldn't have that other glass of wine, you know, to end your stressful day.
Speaker B:Let's let me pray for you.
Speaker B:Let's go on a walk.
Speaker B:And so we find that people who are actually plugged into church and have a positive relationship with God have less stress and endless anxiety and better coping skills.
Speaker B:And so those are two main things that I think a lot of people overlook when they're stressed.
Speaker B:They set aside or they overlook Bible study or devotionals or attending church and, you know, being with other Christians in Christian community in.
Speaker B:In an attempt to be maybe more productive.
Speaker B:And sometimes it's also, you know, not taking care of themselves.
Speaker B:Self care gets overlooked as well.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So you have a podcast.
Speaker A:Tell us about Room to Bloom.
Speaker B:Well, Room to Bloom is a podcast to help people with childhood trauma.
Speaker B:So that would be any type of abuse, neglect, or family dysfunctions, such as the parents who've been divorced, parents with mental illness, parents who maybe have been incarcerated.
Speaker B:So those are called adverse childhood experiences.
Speaker B:And so I interview pastors, authors who've written books on these subjects, survivors who just have these incredible stories of overcoming with Jesus.
Speaker B:And we just really try to address the heartfelt needs of people who've experienced trauma, like trust, like overcoming fear, like overcoming negative coping, like perhaps alcohol addiction and things like that.
Speaker B:And so really just trying to address all of those heartfelt needs and provide hope and strategies.
Speaker A:Great.
Speaker A:So I was loved, actually.
Speaker A:Of course.
Speaker A:Is there a favorite podcast episode that you really are very proud about or very happy, how hopeful that it made huge impact in people's lives?
Speaker B:Well, there are quite a few.
Speaker B:I mean, I just.
Speaker B:I just feel like God is really bringing me the right people for my podcast because there's a.
Speaker B:Just a wide variety of episodes.
Speaker B:But one in particular guest said to me, julie, I'm so thankful that you are willing to address and discuss sexual abuse, because statistics show one in three have been sexually abused.
Speaker B:And we probably guess that it might be higher than that because so many people don't talk about it.
Speaker B:And so she thanked me because so many people are not willing to discuss it on a podcast.
Speaker B:But for hurting hearts, God wants to peel back the darkness and expose it to the light so that people can receive freedom and healing from something that was not their fault.
Speaker A:I love that.
Speaker A:I love the fact that one of your goals is help People reach their God given potential.
Speaker A:Do you have a story from your work that exemplifies how you've helped someone do that?
Speaker B:Well, I do, I do.
Speaker B:I can't speak specifically because, you know, mental health, everything is confidential and I want to respect that.
Speaker B:But yes, there are people who have taken steps to become free and have just really thanked me, me for providing support for things that are often judged, you know, especially with difficult family relationships.
Speaker B:A lot of times if you try to reach out for help, you tell people a small portion of your story, they jump to conclusions and might say, oh, well, that's, you know, sinful.
Speaker B:Or, oh, you need to honor your mother.
Speaker B:Oh, you need to forgive.
Speaker B:Instead of listening with compassion and empathy and helping them find the right steps that God wants them to take to move forward.
Speaker B:And so, yeah, just being a safe place has really made a difference for a lot of people.
Speaker A:What projects are you working on next?
Speaker A:I'm curious.
Speaker A:Got a book in the works or.
Speaker B:I do.
Speaker B:I'm actually writing a book right now.
Speaker B:So I do have a podcast.
Speaker B:But God said, okay, let's take a break for a few months so that you can work on this book.
Speaker B:And so I've got a book coming out and it's going to really have six key pillars that people can work through so that they can have an abundant life after childhood trauma.
Speaker B:So I'm really excited about that and it's going to be finished this year.
Speaker A:So of those six pillars, what do you think is one of the most critical pillars?
Speaker B:Well, God first, because the Bible says, seek the kingdom of God first and then everything else will be given to you.
Speaker B:And so we absolutely need God, God involved in our healing process.
Speaker B:And I, he has healed me.
Speaker B:I have a life I never thought I would have.
Speaker B:You know, being raised with childhood trauma, I didn't know that a better life was possible.
Speaker B:I was afraid of getting married.
Speaker B:I didn't want children because I didn't want to repeat those cycles.
Speaker B:And today I've been married for 26 years to the same guy.
Speaker B:My, my college sweetheart.
Speaker B:I've got two adult children in Christian colleges and we have a great close relationship.
Speaker B:And it's literally a life I never envisioned for myself.
Speaker B:And so if God can do it for me, he can absolutely give you a beautiful life.
Speaker B:One that you never expected.
Speaker A:Yeah, that connecting with God, I think is so critical.
Speaker A:I think so many people struggle with it.
Speaker A:As a pastor, one of the things I always try to encourage people is to remember that just because you don't feel close to God doesn't mean that God's not still desiring to be close to you, and that's not his goal for you.
Speaker A:So how do you.
Speaker A:How do you help people realize that God is there for them?
Speaker A:Just like you discovered by, you know, even though you were.
Speaker A:You had to go discover that again as you were on the floor in the college dorm, that God was still reaching out to them.
Speaker A:How do you communicate that in a book?
Speaker A:So people realize that God is searching for them.
Speaker B:Oh, and he is.
Speaker B:So a lot of times we have negative thoughts and perceptions that maybe are based on something that happened to us a long time ago.
Speaker B:And that doesn't necessarily mean that they're true.
Speaker B:So we might think or feel like God doesn't exist because he let this happen to me.
Speaker B:Maybe he was punishing me.
Speaker B:So he's mean and cruel.
Speaker B:He's punishing me for some sin I'm not aware of because this happened to me.
Speaker B:And so we can have these negative thoughts and perceptions about God, but we have to separate God from human behavior and action and sinfulness.
Speaker B:God, the Bible says, Bible is the truth.
Speaker B:It's the infallible word of God, says that God loves us.
Speaker B:It says that he, you know, is our wonderful counselor.
Speaker B:He is the prince of peace.
Speaker B:He wants to give us every good gift.
Speaker B:And so when we compare scripture to what our beliefs are, it helps us to realign our thoughts and feelings about God.
Speaker B:And so that's one way that we can really begin to overcome negative thoughts.
Speaker B:And this is also proven in science.
Speaker B:Like, science actually proves that when you focus on scriptural affirmations for six minutes a day, it acts like cognitive behavioral therapy.
Speaker B:And it begins to overwrite those negative thoughts and perceptions so that your thoughts become more based on scriptural truth and based on the present.
Speaker B:And so it's a really powerful tool.
Speaker B:And, you know, it's.
Speaker B:This is what the Bible's been saying all along, you know, to meditate on God's word.
Speaker B:And when we do that, God has made a way for our brains to adapt.
Speaker B:And this is called neuroscience neuroplasticity.
Speaker B:Our brains are pliable, and they have the ability to change and adapt.
Speaker B:And so I just love when science and scripture align.
Speaker A:That's great.
Speaker A:It made me think about, you know, if someone has childhood trauma, especially with a father, it must be really difficult to see God as anything other than just a holier version of your father or a heavenly version of your father.
Speaker A:So having those scriptural affirmations that redefine in your mind who the God The Father is would help you maybe deal with the fact that your father was not a good, clear representation of who God is in your life.
Speaker B:Yes and no human is a perfect representation of who God is.
Speaker B:We all fall short.
Speaker B:Even, you know, Christians who are have been on that process of sanctification.
Speaker B:We all mess up from time to time.
Speaker B:And so again, it's really important to separate human behavior from God's character because we are nowhere close to being like Jesus.
Speaker B:And he's the only human who ever walked in perfection on earth.
Speaker B:And yet still people found, tried to find fault with him.
Speaker B:You know, they hated him, they rejected him.
Speaker B:And so even in our imperfection, you know, we suffer too.
Speaker A:As a mental health professional, I'm curious, how do you stay motivated when I'm sure you are sometimes hit with so many people with so many problems.
Speaker A:How do you make sure that you don't take on those problems of Pastor?
Speaker A:My problem is how do I not take on the story I just had in my office home with me and internalize it.
Speaker A:How do you separate yourself from the hurt that you're sometimes helping people with to keep yourself inspired and motivated to continue to help people?
Speaker B:That's a great question for anyone in ministry.
Speaker B:And you know, I would say self care is so important and having boundaries and so, you know, boundaries for when maybe something is beyond our expertise.
Speaker B:We have resources that we can feel confident referring other people to.
Speaker B:It could be a Christian therapist who could some of those therapies.
Speaker B:It might be a Christian psychiatrist for someone who might have chemical imbalances in their brain and they might need a little assistance with that.
Speaker B:And so we have or you know, referring to celebrate recovery or grief share, some peer support groups that could be of benefit to them and so referrals.
Speaker B:One wonderful way that we can do that or work together in conjunction with these other professionals and then practicing self care and really taking time and space to be with God like Jesus did, to separate yourself and fast and pray and be spiritually renewed.
Speaker B:Because when our well is empty, it does start to affect our work and we need to make sure that we're taking time downtime.
Speaker A:Yeah, I love that some people are dealing with childhood trauma in their life and it has a real impact.
Speaker A:If you are with someone who's maybe dealing with that, what are some signs that we may want to be be looking for that they could be really being impacted by childhood trauma?
Speaker B:Well, one key is relationships.
Speaker B:Are they struggling with trust issues and keeping people at arm's length or are they very clingy and needing constant, you know, praise and affirmation and.
Speaker B:Or do they people please.
Speaker B:I'd say that's a really good key.
Speaker B:Somebody who might be struggling with maintaining their anger over something small, they might explode.
Speaker B:People who might have trouble sleeping have nightmares and flashbacks.
Speaker B:So it might be an indication of some ptsd.
Speaker B:Also substance use, heavy substance use, alcohol, drugs, things like that are often just a way to make yourself feel better, as is overeating, stress eating.
Speaker B:And so those are some signs that people can look for.
Speaker B:And I know those are very broad.
Speaker B:And sometimes it takes getting to know people to really get them to open up and feel like they can trust you without judgment with their story before you can get to the bottom of it and really find the right resources for them.
Speaker A:I know one thing you mentioned earlier in our podcast was the important role that the church played in your healing process.
Speaker A:As a church, what can we do to be more supportive of individuals in our congregations, not just with mental health, but just in general, to be a place, a more welcoming place for people to come and know about the love of Jesus?
Speaker B:I would say the first and foremost thing is to be a welcoming space where if someone begins to share their story, if the, you know, the first thing out of your mouth should be, I'm so glad you're here.
Speaker B:How can we help?
Speaker B:And how can we pray for you?
Speaker B:Rather than, that's a sin.
Speaker B:Don't do this, don't do that.
Speaker B:Because then they're feeling judged instead of helped.
Speaker B:And yes, their life may not be in alignment at that moment with scriptural, the way we're supposed to walk as Christians, but if they're new, they're not going to know that.
Speaker B:So just be a welcoming place.
Speaker B:Try to refer and ask how you can help and pray for them and so that they can begin that process of feeling loved and supported.
Speaker B:And then also think about including some mental health ministries like Celebrate Recovery, the Grief Share, and even Living Grace for people who are dealing with things like anxiety and depression and maybe bipolar disorder, some of these common mental health issues, because research shows that people in the church and outside of the church, it's the same amount of mental health issues.
Speaker B:Humans are humans, and so by not serving them, we're not really helping them.
Speaker B:So if possible, some of those programs are helpful as well as addressing it, maybe on the pulpit and saying, hey, we're going to start talking about mental health and normalizing it and making this a safe place to talk about and share.
Speaker A:That's very helpful.
Speaker A:As someone involved in the field where do you see the future of faith based mental health and wellness going?
Speaker B:I only see it increasing because, you know, we've got some playing catch up to do here.
Speaker B:And so I think, you know, I was just reading in the news that sales from the Bible are up right now.
Speaker B:So people are seeking God, they're seeking spiritual solutions.
Speaker B:Doesn't necessarily mean that they've set foot in a church yet.
Speaker B:Hopefully they'll be prompted to do so.
Speaker B:But we want to be ready when they come to be a place that welcomes people and extends God's love and grace and mercy and helps them heal and become new people in Christ.
Speaker A:So what's the future plans you have from Room to Bloom podcast?
Speaker B:Well, after I write my book, I'm going to continue, so I've already got some season four guests lined up.
Speaker B:We'll just gonna have to pause that for a little bit so I can, you know, get this book done because God really wants it out.
Speaker B:So I know it's going to be helpful to a lot of people.
Speaker A:And where can people find Room to Bloom podcast?
Speaker B:They can find it on any major podcast platform and YouTube and also on my website from budtobloom.com I have a link on there for podcasts.
Speaker B:You can listen to any episode just right on your browser.
Speaker A:Wow, that's really neat.
Speaker A:I love to ask my guest this other question.
Speaker A:What do you want your legacy to be?
Speaker A:Be?
Speaker B:I want my generational legacy to be one of Jesus, of healing, of hope, of grace and mercy, and healthy family dynamics.
Speaker B:Because sometimes when you are breaking those cycles, it is really difficult.
Speaker B:But knowing that my family is better off because I've taken this step for healing, it's going to trickle down generation after generation.
Speaker B:And so thank you Lord, that you know, you have done this for me.
Speaker B:And so that will be my personal legacy.
Speaker B:And then professionally, I just really hope that my work will help people overcome childhood trauma.
Speaker B:Even, you know, those wounds that are in the deepest recesses of someone's heart, maybe something never even shared.
Speaker B:If they've listened to a podcast, if they read the book, if maybe they join one of my coaching programs, that it will set them free with the help of Jesus.
Speaker A:Amen to that.
Speaker A:Anything?
Speaker A:I haven't asked you that.
Speaker A:I should have asked you.
Speaker B:I just wanted to say that for people who have had childhood trauma, there is something called toxic stress physiology.
Speaker B:And so as we were discussing before, some of the signs, you know, that pastors might be on the lookout for, you know, toxic stress is the body's long term response to ongoing chronic high levels of stress.
Speaker B:So in my example, lived at home until I was 23.
Speaker B:And so I had 23 years of toxic stress and that stress without having enough support or positive relationships to help me through.
Speaker B:And that can actually affect people's mental health, their.
Speaker B:Their physical health as well.
Speaker B:So there are incidences of higher autoimmune disorders, type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular disease, all sorts of things, and even cancer in some more extreme cases.
Speaker B:And so I just want people to know that if you are experiencing some of these physical symptoms, your body's telling you, let's heal, let's work on decreasing your stress, increasing your resilience, so that you can be freed physically and mentally from these things that have been burdening you for way too long.
Speaker B:There is hope.
Speaker A:Well, thanks for that message, Julie.
Speaker A:Thanks for what you do.
Speaker A:I think the faith based approach to mental health is so critical because it does ground us in a power beyond ourselves and the power of Jesus healing, love and grace.
Speaker A:And so I appreciate the work that you do and blessings on the book you're writing.
Speaker A:Hopefully you'll come back out when your book is done and we can talk about your book and get the word out.
Speaker B:Yeah, I would love to.
Speaker B:Thank you so much for having me on today and for being willing to have this discussion about mental health and wellness in the church because, you know, God wants us to be ready for those people and, you know, you're making a difference right here, right now.
Speaker A:Well, thank you, Julie.
Speaker A:Blessings on what you do.
Speaker B:Thank you.
