Unveiling the Secrets to Effective Public Speaking with Laura Reid

Keith Haney: 00:00:58

My next guest, Laura Reed, having grown up as a stutterer, extreme public speaking fear, and social media anxiety, is an unlikely speaker, public speaking coach, and comedian. But that's what makes her uniquely aligned to help others find their voice and take the stage.

An expert in storytelling, Laura has received numerous awards for her presentations and won several speaking competitions.

Her debut book, the Speaking the Public speaking horror show, 7 Secrets to Kill as a Speaker, quickly became a bestseller, resonating with readers worldwide with this unique blend of humor, insight, and actionable advice. Laura lives in the big island of Hawaii, where she relishes nature and occasionally feeds, occasionally fends off wild pigs for excitement.

We welcome Laura to the podcast. Well, Laura, welcome to the podcast. How you doing today?

Laura Reed: 00:01:51

I am doing great. It's awesome to be here. Thanks for having me.

Keith Haney: 00:01:54

It's so good to talk to you.

And I'm looking forward to this conversation because I know as a public speaker, that's something that I had to learn to do, and it was a horror show for my first couple years. I'm looking forward to some points you could give me and the audience.

Laura Reed: 00:02:08

Yeah, absolutely. I'm looking forward to that, too.

Keith Haney: 00:02:11

So I love to ask my guest this question, what's the best piece of advice you ever received?

Laura Reed: 00:02:17

The best piece of advice for me was it actually came from a teacher. I was a Peace Corps volunteer in Zimbabwe back in the mid-90s, and there was a Zimbabwean teacher at my school.

And every morning when I walked in, he'd say, Ms. Laura, what do you need to enjoy? And I'd say, life. Because his mantra was just enjoy life. So every day he reminded me, enjoy what? Life.

And I always think about him, you know, when things are challenging or I'm going through a tough time to remember, like, the meaning of life is really to enjoy it, experience it. And I take that with me onto the stage to enjoy myself and have fun no matter what I'm doing.

Keith Haney: 00:03:04

That is really good advice because, you know, it is short.

We sometimes plow our way through life and don't realize that just stop and smell the roses and just enjoy, because you can't go back and live that again. So enjoy every moment of the gift of life that you have.

Laura Reed: 00:03:20

Yeah. And even the challenging times or times we kind of frame as failure, it's always learning. So I think we're meant to experience that too.

Like, I don't believe in 100% positive thinking all the time because sometimes, you know, grief and those sadder moments were meant to feel.

But one of my, like, go to advice for those I'm working with who are really scared to get up on stage or do the public speaking that's coming up is simply to have fun, because that's part of it. Even if what you're sharing is kind of dark, you still can bring a sense of joy to it. And then your audience feels that, too.

Keith Haney: 00:03:58

Exactly. I'm curious. You've had a very good career, a very illustrious career.

But who are some people along the way who served as an inspiration or mentor for you?

Laura Reed: 00:04:08

You know, I'd have to say that my husband right now because, well, we've only been married. This is going on two years now. We met over the pandemic. I had flown to Indonesia. Well, it wasn't quite the pandemic yet.

,: 2020

And I just remember being on the plane and thinking, you know, what could go wrong? Little did I know. Well, I had just been in one of my first Toastmasters International Speech Contest right before I left, and I'd won that contest.

I was really psyched. I was supposed to be gone about two weeks and then fly home and be in the contest in person. Well, of course, you know, I didn't.

Long story short, for this one, I didn't make IT home for 123 days. But during that time, I had to learn on the fly because a contest went on despite the pandemic. So they just switched everything to virtual.

And I'll never forget it. My first, like, virtual speech contest.

For me, it was 3am So I really had that kind of working against me, but I had to practice and practice the speech, and I knew I had a strong story. I thought I was going to do really well. And all the other contestants so far, I thought, okay, I think I'm in number one place.

Like, I still think I got it. Like, not to be vain, but I knew it was solid. And then this guy comes on. Kane Camano. He comes on, and I'm like.

I knew within three seconds he was gonna win. Like, he was gonna take first place. And, like, who is this guy? You know, he's gonna beat me. And he didn't know who I was.

He'd been in speech contests for a long time. It was my first one, and everyone was texting him, like, who's that girl? She might. You know, she might take your title. So we became.

I kind of villainized him for a little bit. Like, I have to beat Kane. Like, who is this guy?

But then when I finally got back home, you know, I was like, I should friend him because he was doing all these workshops on storytelling. Was like, I like storytelling. Maybe I should learn from him. And we started doing a podcast together and got to be really good friends.

And long story short on that one too. He is now my husband, but he is my best critic for he's made me so much better because I'm such an introvert. I had really.

I don't take criticism really well.

I do now, but I would say at first I took it really personally, but he really taught me that it's really good to get feedback, you know, to practice in front of other people. And he's just made me so much better.

Keith Haney: 00:06:49

Oh, that's such a neat story. I love how, how sometimes your spouse, my wife, is great for she taught me empathy. I was, I was very driven, very type A personality.

Sometimes I, I, I missed people on the side who were hurting, and she taught me to see the hurting people around me.

And it's made me such a much better pastor and just communicator because I notice a person in the room who may not get it, that you want to talk directly to that person. It kind of helps you. Kind helps me at least to bring it down where everybody can connect with the messages I'm trying to communicate.

Laura Reed: 00:07:25

Yeah, absolutely. And empathy is so important.

And that's one of the reasons I love teaching storytelling, too, because I think it has empathy kind of baked into it, and that's so important to spread.

Keith Haney: 00:07:38

Yeah. So tell us about your journey from being a stutterer to now this public speaker guru that you are now.

Laura Reed: 00:07:46

Thanks. Well, I grew up believing there was a monster that just lived in my throat. And it felt like every time I tried to speak, it would just wake up.

Like, it was always lurking there, and I always was aware of its presence. And if someone would ask me even the simplest question, like, what's your name? I would kind of just freeze up.

And it's like the monster woke up and would just eat that word that I was trying to get out. And it was so bad when I was a child that, you know, my face would turn blue. It, it wasn't. There's different types of stuttering.

So I didn't have the kind of stutter where I'm just stuck on that first syllable over and over. Like most people think that's how you stutter. For me, it was like I just could not get a single word out.

So I would stop my foot I would do, like, anything I could to, like, force that word out. So I went through some years of speech therapy to be able to be fluid.

And I would say by high school, most people wouldn't know that I stuttered, but it was still there. And into my adult years, every once in a while, I would still get that block on a word. And it was really embarrassing.

It was really humiliating to me because it almost made it worse that mostly I was fluid, because then when I would stutter, get a block on a word, it's like people thought it was having a seizure or something. They had no idea what was going on. And, you know, I. I tried to hide it so much from myself.

Now, although my speech mostly was fluid, and even to this day, once in a while, I get. There's one word that'll come up I can't say, but I can hide it.

But the shame, the embarrassment, and the extreme anxiety around speaking stayed with me. It's like it was baked into my nervous system. And about.

I'd say about 15 years ago, I was teaching and I was in a staff meeting, one of our first, like, staff meetings of the year. We're just going around the room introducing ourselves. And for whatever reason, in that particular setting, I felt that monster, like, wake up.

And I started feeling, like, kind of nauseous and dizzy at all these nervous systems. Symptoms come up. And as it got closer and closer to me, it got worse and worse, and I couldn't speak. I got up and I left.

I went home sick, but really I went home ashamed. And I didn't know it, but at that time, I was really having a panic attack just over the thought of saying my name.

Like, I was a little over 40 years old, and I couldn't say my name. And I knew something had to change. And that was when I. I decided for the first time to run towards my fears, not away from it.

And you know how sometimes we get signs in our life of what we're meant to do and what the plan is for us? I was walking down the street at that time. I lived in upstate New York, and I saw a sign.

It was a literal sign, and it was for a storytelling competition, kind of like the Moth. If any of your listeners follow, follow that. But, you know, storytelling competition, but locally based. And I just knew I. I knew I had to enter it.

And I ran towards my fear. I got up on that stage, I told a story. I won that contest. And. But wasn't so much about that, although that helped my confidence.

All these people Came up to me after and were like, you know, they were inspired by my story and I gave them inspiration to get up and tell their stories. And I'd spent like decades studying public speaking, studying how to overcome anxiety.

And that really began my journey that I meant to help these other people, you know, and I got myself into the coaching realm and just never looked back from that.

Keith Haney: 00:11:36

I love that story. What are some key elements? Because I love storytelling. I think it's so compelling.

What are some key elements that you've discovered that's important to engage the audience in storytelling?

Laura Reed: 00:11:48

The key elements, I think one of the most important things is to really get in touch with who that audience is, you know, first and understand the story that is really going to resonate with them. Because a lot of times we start with ourselves and are very self focused, but really it's about the audience.

You know, James Campbell has this quote that I love. The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek. So sometimes the stories that we're scared to tell I think are that treasure.

But the thing about it is it's meant to give away. That treasure isn't really ours to keep. So gifting your audience a true, authentic story with a key message is just that it's such a gift.

So I think first to kind of, you know, take it away from yourself. I have so many of my clients say, oh, I'm scared to tell the story. It's too personal, it's too emotional.

But think about what a gift it is because your story could be someone else's survival guide.

So I think first really getting, getting in touch with that and then learning how to make your story concise because it's not meant to be like a rambling long story. Maybe, you know, an older relative used to tell that kind of thing.

I think our stories, you know, it's very scientific and I think people think they have to be super creative to tell a story. But really it follows a very clear arc. And science.

I mean, I think I said James Campbell, I meant Joseph Campbell, know, the inventor of the Hero's Journey is the classic framework, but there's much simpler frameworks too that I teach where you're almost like filling in the blank and it's just ensuring you have a strong opening hook. There's a rise and fall of some action, there's a message for everyone, and you close it really strong too. Then you got a great story.

Keith Haney: 00:13:45

I love it. So tell us what led you to write your book?

Laura Reed: 00:13:50

My book is the Public Speaking Horror show. And It's.

I mean, I've probably been writing it really in my head for many decades, but again, just that sense of urgency, almost like I felt with entering that storytelling competition. Since I was a little girl, I wanted to be a writer. I wanted to write a book.

For me, writing was a very safe zone, unlike the outside world with people who ask questions. And it was scary. You know, when I wrote, I could express myself fluidly, right?

So I'd really been writing stories since I was 5, and it was my biggest dream. For whatever reason, I withheld that dream from myself. When I got back from being quarantined in Indonesia for all those.

Those months, I felt that sense of urgency. I think that whole experience for me changed me in a lot of ways, and I gained a lot of that boldness back or that sense of my own mortality back.

The whole time I was there, I had this massive hernia. I didn't know what it was, and I was scared to go to the hospital there, so I thought I was going to die that whole time.

And, you know, so I got back home, you know, I had surgery. I was okay, but I. You know, it's like, okay, what do I really want to do with the rest of my life?

And so that propelled me, and what message do I most have I want to share that's going to help people immediately? And it's really. Was writing this book.

Keith Haney: 00:15:19

When you think about crafting a presentation for an audience, how do you begin to structure it so that, you know, it's going to be one that's going to knock it out of the park? Because as a pastor, you want to knock every single sermon out of the park. So how do you.

How do you lay out this presentation so every single one you do is going to connect or.

Laura Reed: 00:15:36

That's a great question. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that.

Often, I think a mistake a lot of speakers make is that we start out thinking about ourselves and, you know, how am I going to look? What am I going to say? How are people going to react to what I'm going to say?

And that builds in a lot of fear, too, because we're already kind of thinking about how we're going to be judged in some way, or, you know, we're just too focused on ourselves. What I'd like to do is really start with that audience and ask yourself first, what do I want my audience to think, feel, and do?

You know, start with them? What do you really. What's a key message that's urgent right now? What's a story that goes along with that. How do. What do you.

Do you want them to think about, um, and then that feel part. Do you want them to be motivated or inspired or laugh? And then the do is the call to action.

You know what, is there some strong message at the end, too, that you can say, okay, from this day forward, here's what I want you to think about. Go out and do this action. Do it. You know, give someone a random act of kindness, whatever it is that you're motivated by, by in that story.

And then what happens is really. It's really beautiful. You start realizing that, oh, it's not about me at all.

It's about the gift, the transformation, the beautiful, you know, journey I'm going to lead this audience on. And suddenly nerves tend to disappear and you get more excited about. About what you're going to deliver.

And then you're building it out from the structure, from that place. It's going to be kind of baked in and it makes for just, you know, a really, a beautiful speech.

Keith Haney: 00:17:16

So I've been in sometimes presentations where sometimes the story is more powerful than the content. How do you make sure that. Because here's a good example.

So this person was talking about their cat or something, and the cat overwhelmed the rest of the content. How do you make sure your story or your illustration is not so big and so shocking that you lose the rest of your message in your presentation?

Laura Reed: 00:17:43

Yeah, that's a great question.

And I think, especially when we want to tell our origin stories, like why we do what we do, or some kind of story about our own life, you know, it can get too much about us or too much about the cat. And, yes, overwhelm. And that's why it's really important to get in touch with the key message first. Like, okay, who is this audience?

What challenge or problem do they all share that I can uniquely help them with and teach them about? And I would always make sure you have, you know, usually at least like three main teaching points in there.

And there can be, you know, some little anecdotes too, so little kind of mini stories about those teaching points to help them learn them, but there definitely should be that element in there. So then you can kind of think about, okay, what story do I have that's going to be relatable that goes along with this teaching, too.

And make sure as you're structuring out your outline for your talk, that.

That if you have the opening story, it really shouldn't be like, let's say you have a 40 minute talk, if it's 20 minutes, like, that doesn't really leave you a lot of time to get that teaching to wrap up, to have questions, to have some interaction.

Because one thing I really want people to understand is when you give a presentation, like, don't even call it a presentation, call it a conversation, because that's essentially what it is. And when we have a conversation with people, we're pausing, we're asking questions. Right.

It shouldn't feel like you're just up there delivering this long monologue. Right. So if your story gets too big, that's what it kind of turns into. So usually with stories, I kind of go by maybe five to seven minutes.

You know, you can just use time to start narrowing it down. Sometimes it's hard because we get really attached to the stories we love and we don't want to cut anything out.

But again, that's where frameworks come in really well and handy, too, because, again, it's not about us.

Keith Haney: 00:19:48

I love that. I also tell speakers, make sure you land the plane. Don't trick people with these approaches to the Runway. And you obviously take off again.

Which I've seen. I've seen those kind of presentations where you're at the plane coming in and like, oh, no, not yet.

Laura Reed: 00:20:04

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Whoops. Nope, back out.

Keith Haney: 00:20:08

Yeah. So when people pick up this book, what do you hope they learn from your story?

Laura Reed: 00:20:16

It's got a lot of storytelling definitely woven in it, I think. I hope most of that they're inspired to then and have the tools to tell their own stories if they've been, you know, they're.

They dream of being a speaker or they're already delivering a lot of speeches to be inspired to, you know, make it better. Don't get so stuck in your ways.

I see a lot of great speakers who kind of delivered the same presentation over and over and over because they've gotten so comfortable with it. So I think there's always room to grow.

There's always room to kind of stretch ourselves and try something new, have a little more fun, add some humor, all of those things. So I've. I've given everyone a lot of tools because here's the thing, you know, I hear a lot of people say, I'm just not a good speaker.

And it's a skill. It's like learning an instrument. You're not going to be good right off the bat.

You need to practice the tools, practice speaking, and eventually you are going to just get better. But there's always room for improvement, too. And I Learn something new every time I get up on a stage.

Keith Haney: 00:21:23

So as a coach who's helping people learn to speak better, how do you help someone who's terrified about public speaking?

Laura Reed: 00:21:29

Well, one of my favorite tips to give, and it's kind of counterintuitive, so you're not going to find it out there. But most people say that you need to break out of your comfort zone in order to do the scary thing, right?

That's kind of the first step, you know, is to, like, get out of that spot. But what I say is stay in it when it comes to speaking.

Because when we get in touch with our comfort zones, like where we're feeling most comfortable, whether it's out in nature, on the beach, on our couch, and get in touch with that feeling. If you think about it, when you're in your comfort zone, words come to you very easily. You're not even thinking about it.

You can be your authentic self. You don't have all your symptoms of nervousness, but the moment we tell ourselves we're doing a scary thing, right?

Especially right before we speak, and we're like, okay, I got to be brave. And breaking out my comfort zone, our brain, it, like, triggers that nervous brain mode. And guess what? We forget what we're going to say.

We tend to blank out. Then all of our nervous symptoms come up. It's exactly what we don't want when we're speaking.

So I help my clients get really in touch with the words that they feel like the description of their comfort zone. For me, it's calm and peaceful. And then really set that intention to bring that feeling with them. Stay in their comfort zone while they're speaking.

Just expand it out to do that scary thing. So for me, when I stopped telling myself, I'm just going to be brave, I'm going to be courageous and mega confident, and instead said, you know what?

I'm just going to be peaceful. I'm going to pretend like I'm just out on a walk in nature talking to my best friend, it changed everything for me, and I became much less nervous.

Keith Haney: 00:23:12

I'm curious. Does living in Hawaii influence your speaking style or just comfort? Because, I mean, it must be really cool living on the Big Island.

Does that also play into kind of your speaking genius, you know, to me?

Laura Reed: 00:23:28

So I've lived here, it's going on eight years, and I moved from upstate New York, and I definitely don't miss, like, scraping ice off windshields in the winter and that kind of thing.

But it, to me, it's kind of funny that people think Hawaii, especially the Big island, is very, like, chill because, I mean, right now, for example, we have, like, a massive volcanic eruption at Kilauea. Like, there is lava shooting up like, a thousand feet in the air that's creating toxic air. We get earthquakes a lot. We're all very, very isolated.

If something happened, like, the next landmass from the Big island at the southernmost tip is Antarctica. So we're like, you know, it's super isolated too, and it's not, you know, so it's literally this island is still being created underneath our feet.

But to me, I find that, like, very exciting. And I do think a lot about the power of creation because I think we're all here to create something, to give it back then to the.

The world and to help people in that way.

So in that way, living here does inspire me, but not in the kind of chill sort of aloha vibe that I think people think, because I also, you know, feel the power that Mother nature has. And we're just, you know, I mean, when I go and you can go see the kind of stand at the edge of this.

Of the Kilauea crater and see that lava, it actually, it was like Christmas Eve, it started erupting again.

Keith Haney: 00:24:55

Oh, my goodness.

Laura Reed: 00:24:56

To see that power makes you feel. You're in awe, but you also feel just extremely insignificant and small.

So it also just reminds me that, you know, the world will keep going long after I'm gone, you know, but I can. Like, how do I want to make the most of my very small impact while I'm alive?

Keith Haney: 00:25:16

So my view of Y5 oh just are not accurate.

Laura Reed: 00:25:19

Yeah, well, Oahu's got its own vibe. I mean, definitely, maybe that fits there. But Big island, we're little. Yeah. We're a little, like, scrappy here.

Keith Haney: 00:25:30

As you think about your coaching career, is there a client that stands out in your mind that you can think about the progress they made through your guidance as coaching?

Laura Reed: 00:25:39

Absolutely. This was about maybe five years ago now. I had a client. I know she won't mind me sharing her name. Her name was Arlis, and she had never spoken before.

But, you know, Maya Angelou has this quote that there's nothing. There's no greater agony than untold story within you. And that's how I feel about. Arlis had this really powerful story within her.

She'd been diagnosed when she was young with, like, a. A fatal disease. But she. She's.

She's still with us, and she had kind of, you know, it just really changed who she was as a person, how she lives her life. And she knew that her story would really help and inspire others, but she was scared to tell it.

And when we started working together, it just so happened there was this international women's conference coming up. I'm like, what if I just get you into this conference to speak and you just do it and you tell that story and I work with you? And she was terrified.

But she said yes. I got her in to speak at the conference, and after she'd given her presentation, I wasn't there. But she.

She called me, picked up the phone, hey, Arlis, how'd it go? She was crying, so I was like, oh, no. And then she said the words, I'll never forget. She said, laura, you just changed my life.

And she was really crying tears of joy. It was so she knew in that moment, her life really did change. And guess what? It did.

Like, not only from that conference, she was voted best presentation of the entire conference. And there were you know, there are at least like 30 other speakers that had done it a lot.

But she won that kind of coveted award for the, for the conference. She went on to create her own podcast, she has her own TV show. Right now she's considered a speaker. She speaks all over the place.

Her business really took off.

She went from being more kind of like an admin helper assistant to a really sought after, like, you know, high charging, you know, by the hour, business coach. So she's really, you know, living this life, completely different life. And she's the one, like, I don't date it back.

To give myself credit, it was really her, but she's always the first to say that was that moment when everything changed.

Keith Haney: 00:28:02

As you.

If you're someone who has a story and you want to be able to figure out how to tell it, are there some keys you would say, here's how you develop your story and hone it down so that your story is compelling and powerful?

Laura Reed: 00:28:16

Yeah, absolutely.

And you know, most people think that storytelling is very creative and that you have to be a good writer already a good speaker, storyteller, but really it's very scientific.

So what I recommend is really following, like a very simple framework, even if you boil it down to just a story arc, where I think we used a plain metaphor earlier. But, you know, it's like, to me, the most important part of let's say flying is like the takeoff and the landing, right?

Those are the parts I want the pilot to get really right. And I think for a speaker too, you Know, a really strong opening hook is so important to think about and then landing it strong too.

Now the middle part, you can kind of finesse and work out. You might forget something and backtrack and no one's going to even know.

But I think starting with, with that, that hook and what I mean by that is also not doing what everyone expects, which usually is introducing yourself or thanking everyone.

You know, you're wasting that, that those first really crucial seconds where you can, you know, draw your audience in and lure them in with your message.

So some I really love are asking a question or sharing a quote or a statistic that's going to kind of blow everyone's mind or launching right in with a powerful story. Right.

And then a mistake I see a lot of speakers make at the end is if they end with questions and just end there and then they're like, that's all I got. You're just kind of throwing it away. You don't have that strong, powerful landing. Right.

So of course it's great to have questions sometimes if you have time. But, but you know, you're in charge of the narrative and the person that's the speaker holding the microphone, they wield a lot of power.

So you can say, I've got time for one, maybe two questions. And then I have, you know, one final thing I want to share with you, right.

So you bring it back to you so that, you know, you can leave them with that strong message that you want them to just walk away with.

Keith Haney: 00:30:18

I love that you have any products you're working on for the future besides the book? You just can't come out.

Laura Reed: 00:30:24

Yes. I am really excited about my own podcast. It's called the Public Speaking Horror Show Podcast.

And what I'm doing is interviewing speakers that have, you know, some stories where things have gone sideways.

Because I hear everyone tells their, like, best stories, you know, and how they overcame, you know, something and then they're, you know, it's really happy ending. But I want to get to some of those horror stories of when things, you know, things just went really bad and, and there is a lesson out of it.

But I love sharing those dark stories. So that is going to launch in June and it's going to be up on YouTube. You can find my YouTube page now. And I'm really excited about that.

Keith Haney: 00:31:06

Yeah, I remember my horror story. My very first sermon, it was terrible. It was seven minutes long and it was, it was actually a 20 minute sermon.

But I was so nervous I could not let go of the pulpit and I. I had to try to memorize it. So I tried to read through before I breathed. So I did the entire thing in seven minutes without breathing.

And this little old lady in the congregation said to me, pastor, I think you have a lot of good stuff to say. But you said it so fast, I'm literally exhausted.

Laura Reed: 00:31:40

See? Okay. I still have. I think I have four more guests I can book for this first season. So I might be reaching out to you for that story.

That sounds so good. It was hilarious. It was terrible. Yeah. I mean, that's our instinct, right? Survival mode. Because we just want to get through to the end.

And so I do see a lot of, like, newer speakers, they just, they rush it. There's no pausing, there's barely a breath. They're just. And at the end, they're probably so proud of themselves.

Like, I did it, like, I got through it, you know, so.

Keith Haney: 00:32:11

But yeah, and then reality hits from so many audience just being just polite to say, that was not good.

Laura Reed: 00:32:18

Yeah, like, they didn't die. So that's good. But, yeah, it's. There comes a time when eventually you realize it's not about you surviving.

It's really about what am I giving this audience, what experience am I giving them? Right. So you stressed out that little old lady.

Keith Haney: 00:32:35

You know, one thing I've noticed about speaking, too, if you have a gift, whatever that gift may be, whether it's speaking or writing, I always tell people it's going to be the thing you struggle with the most, the thing you're most gifted at. So if it's public speaking, there'll be anxiety around every single presentation.

But you might get up on stage and all of a sudden all that anxiety goes away. But before you get up there, you could be the most.

I told my family I was horrible on Saturday night because when I was preaching on Sunday, I was nervous and I was grumpy. But on Sunday when I got in the pulpit, it was fine. But before that it was. Everything was miserable.

Laura Reed: 00:33:11

Yeah, I mean, the sense of dread is very potent, you know, with speaking. And it's so much sometimes, you know, leading up to it, we can get ourselves really, really worked up. I do stand up comedy occasionally too.

And to me, like, I am always, probably always going to feel like I'm going to throw up before I do stand up comedy, because it's just so scary to me to get up on that particular stage. But that's one of the reasons I love to do it.

But you know, something that really helps, though, is trying to take that Sense of dread and really ask yourself, like, what is the worst that can happen? Know? And that is, you know, if you kind of get in touch with that and then you realize how unrealistic it really is. Right.

And then also taking as much of those nerves and anxiety and just rebrand it, repurpose it as excitement, you know, instead of, oh, I've got to do this darn speech. I got to get up on the pulpit. I got to do that. You know, said you. You get to. You know what? I get to. I get to get up and I get to make people laugh.

I get to deliver this powerful story, you know, and just kind of trick yourself. I can't wait. I can't wait to do it. Right. And then trust that when you're there, you're going to have the strength.

Like, you are going to have the strength. It's all going to click together if you prepare. Like, I don't advise to ever wing it.

You know, put in the preparation because it's such a gift to yourself. It doesn't mean memorize, but it's more like, get it to the point where it's internalized.

Like, you know, this visually, you know, where it's all going. You can get back to something if you forget it, you know, and then it's. You'll be. You'll thank yourself. You know, you will thank your future self.

Will thank you for doing that work.

Keith Haney: 00:34:48

I always tell my wife, she says, how'd it go? Like, well, no one threw food, so.

Laura Reed: 00:34:53

See? Awesome. Yeah.

Keith Haney: 00:34:58

So I'm curious, Laura, what do you want your legacy to be?

Laura Reed: 00:35:02

For me, it's that I've changed. I've changed people's lives in a meaningful way that inspired them to share their story, to give speech that really left an impact.

So they're leaving a legacy, too, you know, that, like, I want to help people get in touch with. Yeah. What they want their legacy to be. And, you know, whether it's, you know, writing their book or, you know, delivering these powerful speeches, I.

I would love that if people remember that I played a really small part in something positive like that in their life.

Keith Haney: 00:35:37

That's great. As we wrap up our phenomenal conversation, what key takeaways you want to leave with the audience from our conversation today?

Laura Reed: 00:35:45

I want everyone to know that what you fear will set you free. Like, whatever it is you're probably most scared of, if you really befriend it, get in touch with it, there's so much liberation there.

And sometimes the things that we fear most, it's like pointing us in this direction in our lives of what maybe we need to really work on. Right. You know, I have so many people that they don't want to speak because they fear judgment, right?

So if you're feeling fearing judgment from others, you know, that means that you need to get in touch with what it is about yourself that you're scared of showing everyone else or, you know, that story, like to tell everyone else. So there's so much strength and that vulnerability. And also, no one is judging you.

I mean, it sounds kind of harsh, but no one's thinking about you, right? We're all like, in our own.

Like that awkward thing you said three years ago that you're still thinking about, no one's thinking about that but you and the entire world. So just let that go and, you know, be brave and do the scary thing.

Keith Haney: 00:36:55

I love it. Where can listeners find your book, the Public speaking horror show 7 Secrets to Kill it as a Speaker and connect with you on social media? You.

Laura Reed: 00:37:04

Yeah, thank you for asking. It is up on Amazon. You'll find it really easily there. And you can, you know, have it on Kindle Print, and I recorded it on Audible.

So that was just a couple months ago. I finished recording it. I was really excited about that.

And if you follow my author page there, you'll see my new book that's coming out sometime this spring. It's a book for women in their 50s, an empowerment book for them. So if that's you, then you can check that out as well on Instagram.

I'm Laura in Wonderland, and if you go to my website, which is the speechslayer.com My business is speech Slayer. Then you'll find all of my things and places to follow me.

Keith Haney: 00:37:48

Well, Laura, thanks so much for taking the time and inspiring people to tell their story because I think everybody has a story to tell and it's oftentimes a very powerful story. And if we can better relate to those and get those stories out, I think we're all much better blessed as people.

I know other people have an inspiring story as well.

Laura Reed: 00:38:06

Thank you for saying that. It's so true. Storytelling builds empathy and compassion and tolerance, which is so needed in our world. And so I really encourage everyone to do that.

Thank you, Keith, so much for having me today. It's been a joy to have this conversation.

Keith Haney: 00:38:21

Thank you, Laura.

Laura Reed: 00:38:23

You're welcome.