Resilient Voices: The J.R. Martinez Story
In this inspiring episode, J.R. Martinez takes us on a profound journey of resilience, service, and purpose. He delves into the transformative moments that have shaped his life, highlighting the power of storytelling and human connection. J.R. reflects on his experiences as a motivational speaker, emphasizing the importance of gratitude and self-reflection in overcoming life’s challenges.
Listeners will also hear about J.R.'s memorable stint on “Dancing with the Stars” and his excitement about fatherhood. He shares his insights on breaking cycles and the significance of having deeper conversations with military service members. This episode is a testament to the strength of the human spirit and the impact of sharing our stories.
Transcript
Well, we are welcoming JR to the podcast. How you doing today, JR?
J.R. Martinez (:I'm well my man, how you doing?
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:I'm good. Kind of, I'm glad to have you on to talk about your story, your amazing journey. So I want to ask you to kind of get to know you a little bit better with the audience. What's the best piece of advice you've ever received?
J.R. Martinez (:When your story becomes less about you and more about other people, that's when you're really starting to make a difference.
And I think for a very long time and the reason that was relevant to me because, you know, I identified early on in my recovery that I had a story. I knew that it could help people, but when I was going out to speak to people, it was almost like therapy in a sense for me. It was me really kind of talking about the experiences, things that I've learned. And it was, it was more for me. I realized now in hindsight, when I look back in my early twenties, those opportunities to speak was, was purely.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:Mm -hmm.
J.R. Martinez (:for me to be able to work through a lot of that, which was healthy for me because one, it helped me process, it helped me grieve. And one of the things I tell people is that you have to understand something, right? All of us have an identity and it's developed by a multitude of characteristics, right? There's race, there's gender, there's jobs, there's roles, there's a bunch of things that ultimately kind of create the identity that we perceive of ourselves. And obviously the biggest way that your identity you identify with is,
your parents and for a long time.
For 19 years of my life, I had a relationship with that person that looked back at me in the mirror. And then suddenly one day I woke up at 19 and I was like, who is that person? And as you can imagine, and anybody can understand this sentiment. I mean, just think about when you were 19 years old, how hard it was and trying to figure out where you fit into the world that you're in society. What do you want to do? What do you want to be? But then when you you're starting to develop your identity, but imagine at 19 also losing part of your identity.
identity. That's incredibly difficult, but the early stages of my speaking career was a great opportunity for me to take the power away from a day that was always referred to as tragic.
and actually then perceive it as, you know what, there's beautiful blessings in that day and there's lessons that I can learn and take with me. so over time, my story then became, yes, as part of my story, of course, but it became more about how can I now make this outward facing to the audience, whether it's one person or whether it's 2 ,500 people at 30 ,000 people in the space, how do I make this now relevant to them to where they can take something with them and apply it to their
J.R. Martinez (:life.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:Yeah, that's so powerful because if you think about as a public speaker, what you want to do is you want to connect with the audience. And while your story is powerful, you want the audience to say, I can see myself in that story. I can relate to that story. If I can't see myself, it's just an amazing story journey. But if I don't see myself in there, my ability to overcome in there, my strength in there,
It doesn't move me as much as like you talk about when you mix it about the people and audience.
J.R. Martinez (:Absolutely, 100%. And I think that that is definitely.
What are the reasons why I've managed to, you know, listen, create so thus far a successful career in the speaking space because I get on stage one, I'm incredibly vulnerable and I share a lot of those aspects of my life that aren't pretty, that are incredibly difficult. And so that obviously can create a connection with people because people now they can see through and people can see and they, and the minute you start going out there, trying to talk about a bunch of other things, people kind of see.
through that stuff and so for me I just learn to be vulnerable and learn how...
That's not something I had to be afraid of, right? I had to learn that personally in my life. And then obviously from a career standpoint, and once I started realizing people will always use it against you, it's not the fear that you always think of. It created a deeper connection. But then I also then realized that point that you're making is that early in my speaking career, people will come up to me and say, I can relate to you. And I would say, how the hell can you relate to me?
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:Yeah, right.
J.R. Martinez (:Have you been in a hospital? Have you been burned? Have you like, and they're like, no, no, no. But, but this happened in my life. This happened in my life. This happened in my life. And what I quickly realized was even though the experiences were very different, it was the emotion, the feeling that all of us feel when we go through that thing that connects all of us. It's the sense of, you know, fear and anxiety and the unknown and.
you know, feeding into the narrative of what might happen and, you know, like all of that stuff is where the intersectionality lies between all of our experiences and connects us. And so for me, a lot of it now is I'm going to share things, but I'm going to break it down because, you know, for a long time, and people still do this till this day, people ask me to come and speak and they're like, tell us about the day. And I'm like, all right, I'm going to get there. But remember something, I was 19 years old when that happened.
So to understand how I overcame that situation I have to break down the first 19 years of my life because resiliency isn't something like a light switch that you just walk into a room hit the switch and it light comes on and all of a sudden you're resilient and you walk out No resiliency is something that has a conditioning and it has to frequently be conditioned in order for you to Really develop that ability to be resilient and then also it takes pause
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:Right.
J.R. Martinez (:and it takes silence and it takes reflection for you to gather data and understand I am resilient and so I really try to give people a little bit of the first 19 years of my life because I want people to see a little bit of themselves in me and say wow he come maybe comes from he comes from a single parent home his parents or immigrants
You know, he moved around a lot, so people would connect with that, whether it's because of military or it's because of parents for jobs. His mother was in an abusive relationship. He didn't feel like he had a community. He didn't feel like he had connection. He had been looking for that his entire life. He was the trouble kid growing up. we see her, you know, wait, all it took. He played sports. All it took was for one.
educator to like intervene my senior year of high school and actually sit down and look at me in the eyes and say, hey man, what's going on? Like what's going on? And what that did is that changed my whole world because it allowed me to realize that finally somebody was willing to sit down and listen and really get to know why I was acting out, why I was, you know, behaving a certain way, why my grades were pretty horrible, to be honest, but no one ever intervene. They just moved me along to the next grade and all of us can connect with, okay, we
We haven't been accepted. We haven't been heard. No one's really stopping to really pay attention to us. All of us want connection, whether we realize it or not. And that's what I love about speaking is it's that art, man, of really...
breaking all that down and getting to the root and really spreading those branches out and letting people kind of hang on to them and because they're like, hey, this tree right now, these branches give me a little life.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:I love that. And for me, I do a lot of speaking to as a pastor and every Sunday it's about if you can't connect with your congregation, with your audience, you're not as effective. And so for me, the greatest moments I have is when I walk away. Cause my goal is let me give you the aha moment. Let me find something that you didn't know when you came in here and you walk away with a new sense of enlightenment. And I see what you're saying. It's like, yeah, I may not have been burned, but I've been scarred and maybe the scar is not physical. Maybe it's emotional.
J.R. Martinez (:Yeah.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:I've been afraid, maybe it's not because of what you went through, but because I've been in a place, dark place, and I had to deal with that. I've had to overcome things in life, like you said. So how do you kind of take your story and connect with the audience in a broad way so they can, like you say, see themselves at some section and some parts of your story, your journey?
J.R. Martinez (:Yeah, so I just kind of like, you know, I like to consider myself to be, you know, the title that I guess I'm given by, you know, the industry is I'm a motivational speaker, but I really like to think of myself as a storyteller.
And that's what I love to do is tell stories. And, you know, I'm 40 years old. I'm going to be 41 here soon. And, you know, I already see myself as that guy one day, that old man, you know, and someone asked me a simple question. Hey, which way is north? And I'm like, well, let me tell you a story. Like, I know I'm going to be that guy because I'm already that guy. I'm 40 years old and I'm already him. Like with just, I mean, endless amount of story.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:Yeah.
J.R. Martinez (:and beautiful stories of unexpected blessings of you know beautiful things that have happened in my life and so for me you know depends on the audience right and so I do a lot of my homework and find out who the group is what is it that as a company or as a group they're trying to convey what are they trying to accomplish what is the
the this particular company or this industry, what do they constantly deal with? And then I just extract components of my story that feel relevant, that at the conclusion of my remarks, allow me to then pivot and again, put it back to the audience and say, Hey, this is what you guys like this is what you deal with. This is what how you guys are qualified. This is how you guys are actually prepared. And so and through that is, yes, components of my experiences that I've had, but a lot of it is coming from stories and experiences that I've had.
I mean, I mean, Keith, I can, I can honestly sit here and I'm trying to hold back right now because I know that I am one big run on sentence and I will talk for the next 45 minutes without even giving you an opportunity to like, like, like mumble something. and so I'm trying to be respectful of the time, but I mean, I'll tell you two quick stories. I mean, it's just because I can't help myself, but you know, I'm in Austin, Texas and you know,
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:There you go.
J.R. Martinez (:I travel on Delta and
I remember being in the sky club and, you know, one day, you know, I just kind of had like a really rough patch as far as like a lot of travel, you know, you know, just a lot of energy being pulled for me, not only at work, but at home, my, my wife and my, my daughter needed a lot of, you know, time and energy. And I was just exhausted. And I went on this trip with my wife because she wanted to go somewhere and I was like, fine, I'll do it. But I didn't, I, all I wanted to do is just be home because I'd been traveling.
stop so anyways after this trip with my wife you know I get to back to this guy club because I'm taking a trip and he said hey man how's the travel with me going he's like I saw you guys were gonna do this thing I remember you said last week and I said yeah yeah yeah and I said man you know and I started just kind of like dumping a little bit like I you know and I've known this guy you know for a little bit because we see each other all the time at the airport and
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:Sure.
J.R. Martinez (:You know, I went sat down in the Sky Club and then like a few minutes later he comes over, he hands me an envelope and he says, open this when you get on the aircraft. And I was like, okay.
So, you know, time for me to go to the gate. I go to the gate. I get on the plane. Of course, I curiosity. I open up the envelope and there's a card. He wrote in the card and he says, hey, you know, in life we we ended up so many people need us and and we give so much of ourselves to others that we forget to take care of ourselves. So he said, flip this card over and make sure you use that to do something for you, whatever that is. He's like, if that means to sit down somewhere and get a cup of coffee, if that means put it towards any
said this is what I love like as a man he's like go get yourself a manicure man he said go get yourself a massage put it towards it I flipped the card over and it's 20 bucks and granted it's not the cons it's not the principle of like like it's only 20 bucks no it's the it's the principle of that I don't know what that 20 bucks meant to him I don't know his financial situation I don't know where his when his next checks check is coming I don't know I don't know but the act that act
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:Right.
J.R. Martinez (:And what that does for me is that makes me feel like someone one was willing to listen to me and allow me to start to get stuff off of my chest. And then someone was reminding me and then giving me some sort of resource to say, hey, take care of you, man. Pause for a second. Go do something for you. And that was such a beautiful thing. And listen, I'm going to tell you something. I was like, and then, you know, this was like five years ago. COVID happened. And then, you know, like, I don't know where he is. I haven't seen him. And I've been.
back at the airport since and then you know and the next story I'll tell you is that speaking on Delta actually I got a chance to go to Atlanta speak at the company headquarters I did two dates and and and one week and I remember the second date I was flying back home to Austin on the flight feeling good because I was like man that went well that was kind of like a bucket list thing for me to do is to go to Delta headquarters speak to the company.
And something just hit me, man. Something just triggered me, literally on the plane. I don't remember what it was. I just remember all of a sudden I just started thinking about some things and something put me in a bad mood. And I remember getting off the plane. I didn't call my wife. I didn't let her know I landed. I go out to the parking garage, get in my car.
And I go up to the booth and I hand my ticket out the window. I don't even look at the gate agent and to exit the parking garage and the lady grabs the ticket, but she doesn't take it. She just holds onto it. So of course I finally look up at her and you know, an older lady and she asked me, she said, what happened to you? And I said, well, this is, I was in a car accident. I just kept it there. And she said, you were burned. And I said, yeah. She's like, was it most of your body? And I said, yeah. She says, were you in the middle?
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:What happened?
J.R. Martinez (:I said, yeah. She said, can I pray for you? And I was like, yeah, sure. And she just quietly started praying. And then when she was done, she started writing. And I'm like, all right, well, now I'm going to pay. That's the process. All right, cool. Like, all right, whatever. Well, she hands me a ticket, like the ticket you get in a parking garage. That's not what's supposed to happen. And she's like,
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:Hehe.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:Right.
J.R. Martinez (:As are you familiar with Buddhism? I said, I said, no, ma 'am. And not really. And she says, well, within Buddhism, there is a Buddhist. And I'm probably going to butcher this. So bear with me. Whoever's listening that knows the ins and outs of it all. But she said, there is a Buddhist called Amitoba.
And I meet the by represents infinite light, infinite wisdom. She says, when I see you, I see a meat over. I see light. I see wisdom. And she kind of gives this really beautiful explanation of it. And she gives me the ticket. She's like, take it with you. And then guess what? I paid. And then she was like, have a great day and sort of kind of a metaphor for life. Right. You can't exit the parking garage because that gate is up that arm. And then all of a sudden, boom, it went up because I paid my dues and I was able to go through. But let me tell you what happened when I went through.
I called my wife. I said babe, I meet the bar. She was like, what the hell are you talking about? And I was like, when I get home and at the whole drive home, I just like just had this big smile on my face. And the reason that that story to me is important is for there's layers to it. One, there's many opportunities over the course of that. I mean, which seems like probably it was a five to 10 minute conversation. It wasn't like two, three minutes max.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:Yeah.
J.R. Martinez (:But there were several moments over the course of that conversation with this lady that I could have shut it down. I could have said when she asked me what happened to you, it's none of your business. Will you burn? None of your business. Where the most of your body? None of your business. Were you in the military? None of your business. Can I pray for you? Absolutely not. Are you familiar with Buddhism? I don't care. Right. I could have shut it down. All those moments. I could have just said, no, I'm not engaging, but life has conditioned me into believe that you got to open yourself up to the possibility. See, we're so conditioned to believe that if I,
If you keep Keith before us having this conversation, we run into each other on the street. If you approach me, I immediately put up my guard and think, Keith wants something from me. That's the word condition. If I approach you, you start thinking, what does this man want from me? And the reality is what I've learned is that that's not what it is. Sometimes you and I running into each other is because Keith actually has to give me what I need. And he probably is going to come from this unexpected resource.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:Right.
J.R. Martinez (:Here's this lady that works in an airport parking garage and gives me the gift of a meet the by and I carry that ticket with me. And I remember when I have these moments, I remember that I'm light, that I'm wisdom, that I'm okay. And so, and yet, because I was willing to lean into that conversation.
That was the due that I needed to pay in life in that moment, in that stage. And that's when I was able to proceed and say, okay, now you can go out into the world, my friend, because you paid your dues, you paused for a moment. And so listen, for me, I think that is sort of the basis of what I like to remind people of is that...
You know, you got to be open to these unexpected things, things that make no sense to you in the moment. Why am I having a conversation with this lady that's a complete stranger? Why does she care so much? You don't know in the moment, but if you just lean in and show up as a human being, that person will give you what you need. And in return, you might be able to give them something that they need as well. And that's a beautiful, beautiful space to be in.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:I love that story. We talked a little bit, we touched on your personal story and what you faced at 19. So let's, for the audience who doesn't know the story, give us a little bit of how that life altering moment for you at 19.
J.R. Martinez (:Yeah, so here I am, you know, 19 years old. I joined the army right after high school, a couple of months after high school. You know, I'm 19 years old and I'm living my best life. You know, I'm living in the barracks, which barracks isn't like high luxury living, you know, but you know, when you're at home with your mom your entire life and now you get to be, you know, having your own place. I mean, to me that was like good living. I mean, I was.
I was an infantryman, you know, even though I didn't have any, you know, credit credentials under my name or in my military career, I was around individuals that did. And I just kind of felt like I was on top of the world, man. Like, I mean, life was good. I was a young 19 year old, stationed with the hundred and first out of Fort Campbell, Kentucky, and going out and just having a good time. I mean, it's probably equivalent to what a kid of freshmen in college feels like.
like, right? And, you know, naive and about the fact that I would go to conflict, that I would go to war, I would be in combat. I mean, I just I was very naive about that. And
war. And this is obviously in:people I spent more time on Dancing with the Stars than I did on active duty in the military. I learned a lot in that short amount of time and those three and a half weeks of being in country I learned a lot. I learned a lot about leadership. I learned a lot about myself. I learned a lot about...
J.R. Martinez (:you know, just just this concept of service. It was introduced to me. I learned about being a part of a team on a deeper level. I played sports my entire life and I knew what it meant to be a team and a teammate. But it had a different weight to it when you're in the military because you're part of something bigger. And and it's not just about your team, it's about your team of the United States of America. And there's something that it's incredible when you really stop and you pause and reflect on that for a moment. And so all these things were introduced.
th of April of:And I immediately was trapped inside of the Humvee. No one, you know, I was the most severely injured. The next person that was severely physically injured, injured his leg. He was ejected from the Humvee and had to come back to the States because he had broken his leg. The other guys kind of got a little bit of shrapnel here and there. They actually bandaged them up and kept them around. That's the way they kind of did things, especially in those early days. And I was trapped inside of the Humvee completely conscious and this
Humvee and Goltan Flames and you know screaming and yelling man what can I say I mean I was fighting for my life and I there were several moments over the course of those five minutes that I was in that Humvee that I was like this is it my life is gonna end I'm gonna die here in this way this is the way my life this is ending and
You know, that's where I really try to allow people to understand that, you know, how you overcome that, at least in my experience and what I believe is there was 19 years of life and adversity. And even though the adversity did not compare to what I was experiencing in this moment at 19, didn't matter. It was adversity. And in the moment when I was experiencing it was the biggest thing I could ever go through in my life. But all that adversity that I experienced that I just kept overcoming, overcoming, overcoming.
J.R. Martinez (:It was conditioning me to be in this five minutes of fighting for my life and say to myself, I'm not giving up. I'm going to keep screaming and yelling. I'm going to keep hanging on. I'm going to try to stay awake as long as I possibly can.
And sure enough, two guys pulled me out, started the medevac process. I ended up in San Antonio, which is where the burn center is for the military. And, you know, came out of my coma three weeks later, which listen, I'm not, I don't know what those people are called that study numbers and things like that, you know, but, you know, I, there's a pattern in my life. When you think of, when I joined the military, I was like, I'm only doing three years. I went to basic training for three months. I, you know, deployed in the month of.
March 3. I was only three weeks I was in a coma for for three weeks. I was in almost in the hospital recovering for almost three years. I was supposed to be on all my children for three months it turned into three years. I went on dancing for three months. There's this kind of really interesting pattern there that exists and I'm sure there's other examples but
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:Right.
J.R. Martinez (:You know, for me, it was just coming out of my medical induced coma after three weeks and seeing the reality of war on my body. As you can imagine, it was difficult as a 19 year old. Yeah, just trying to.
you know, just try to find some sort of positivity. And everybody was was happy that I was alive. Everybody. Of course, my mother was, but everybody, the staff, everybody is alive. He's alive. And I'm like, I'm sitting there thinking to myself, man, you guys are so happy that I'm alive. And I'm sitting there thinking like I'm never going to live. And there's a difference between the two. Right. Like you could be alive and not truly live. And I was like, like, people aren't seeing that people don't understand that. And so that was a really.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:Right.
J.R. Martinez (:That was a tough period in my life. And what I did is I immediately fell into this dark place of feeding the narrative of I'm never going to be able to find a job. I'm never going to be able to interact with the general public. I'm never going to meet somebody, let alone have kids, have a family. I'm never going to have those things. And where your focus goes, your energy follows. And my energy just kind of just fed that narrative. And I stayed in that space for a few weeks, man. And then it took real intense conversation with a few people. And at that point, I was like,
conclusion it just it came to this point and we're like okay I have to eliminate this viewpoint of the macro I have to this long term I have to eliminate that I'm gonna take that pressure off of myself I'm not even gonna worry about long term I don't care about long term
What I'm going to do in this moment just to survive, I'm going to focus on today. I'm going to focus on the micro, not the macro, the micro, the now, the moment. I'm going to practice gratitude. I'm going to find something to be grateful for every single day. And there was always something to be grateful for. Trust me, even in my circumstance, there was something to be grateful for. And the more that I applied this very simple practice and I just kind of took the pressure off of myself of like, my job.
And I'm going to meet somebody and kids and people are going to stare at me and people are going to want to run away from me. I just now I'm just going to focus on now. And granted, it wasn't easy. I'm not saying like it was just suddenly and it was a flip of the switch and all of a sudden they just started clicking. And I was just like this happy kid. No, there were triggering moments and there was definitely reminders. And I would revert back to, you know, old, old ways, if you will, and just kind of be in a negative space. But nonetheless, man, at the conclusion, I just kind of like, all right, this is a simple practice.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:Yeah, it doesn't seem to fit right.
J.R. Martinez (:And this process of recovering is not easy. That's not going to be the word that I'm going to use because that doesn't that's not fair to the process. Right. But it was manageable. It was managed right. Like I had these moments where I would sort of revert, you know, like, OK, but it was manageable.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:Right.
J.R. Martinez (:And so I just, you know, listen, man, I just, I just stayed the course and just kept reminding myself of that. And, and, you know, I can kind of get into, you know, I'll just kind of quickly tell you what happened shortly after, which kind of essentially created the birth of the Jr that is doing the work that he's been doing for the last 21 years is, you know, six months after I was injured, one of the nurses asked me to visit a patient in the hospital. I didn't want to, cause I was like, I'm 20. What am I going to say?
And she said, she's just going in and talk to him about your experience. And, and I could tell you, Keith, that when I finally was like, fine, I'll do it. And I did it more of kind of like annoyance, like, fine, leave me alone. I'll go in there and do it. But I remember opening the door to this patient's room and it just felt heavy. It felt heavy. It did not feel like a room that was warm and inviting. And I wanted so badly to just leave because it just, I started to get that pit in my stomach, that knot in my throat, you know, that uncomfortable stuff.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:Right.
J.R. Martinez (:And I just kind of said, man, I mean, hell, I remember when I was in this position, all I wanted was for somebody to show up.
So instead of running away, which is what I wanted to do, I just leaned in and I walked up to him, introduced myself. We talked for about 45 minutes and then I said, I'll come back tomorrow and check on you. And what I did is when I walked out of that room, I went to the head doctor and said, Hey, is it possible for me to visit patients every day? Be to my own appointments? He said, absolutely. And I started visiting patients every day. I didn't know what I was doing. I just put myself in a room, talk people through the recovery process and answer any questions, hang out, whatever.
ever.
But what I discovered after doing this for a couple of months, one night walking back to my room, which is right across the street from the hospital, I realized that the thing that I was afraid that that that that I was mad that I lost that I would never get the opportunity to do in the military, which was serve. I was still going to be able to serve in a very completely in a very different way. Service, I could still I could still serve. It was just going to be in a different uniform and a different organization in a different way. But I.
and still serve nonetheless. And so that quickly just started like this, this element of like, this is what my life is about, is serving. And it gave me purpose. And then I got involved with the nonprofit, helping service members. And then people started reaching out to me, asking me to come and speak. And I was like, speak, we're kind of speaking. And they were like, motivational speaking. And I was like, I don't want to do that. I'm 20 years old.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:I got involved with the app, I can help you set a number, and I'm going to be the first person to have to react to it. And I'm going to be the first person to have to react to it. And I'm going to be the first person to have to react to it. And I'm going to be the first person to have to react to it. And I'm going to be the first person to have to react to it. And I'm going to be the first person to have to react to it. And I'm going to be the first person to have to react to it. And I'm going to be the first person to have to react to it. And I'm going to be the first person to have to react to it. And I'm going to be the first person to have to react to it. And I'm going to be the first person to have to react to it. And I'm going to be the first person to have to react to it. And I'm going to be the first person to have to react to it. And
J.R. Martinez (:Hey, cool man. And you know, finally I tried it and then that was the first time when someone came up to me and said, I can relate to you. And that's when it clicked for me and said, I think this is what I could be doing with the rest of my life.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:So you wrote a book about your journey, your memoir, it's called Full of Heart. Tell us about that book.
J.R. Martinez (:Well...
The reason I decided to write that book was because a lot of people, in the midst of learning about my story, of course, again, it's easy to focus on sort of the big moment, right? The big explosion, if you will. But I wanted to sort of, I wanted to sort of, I wanted people to understand where my foundation came from. Again.
People look at me and say, man, you're incredibly resilient. I mean, what you overcame and the life you've created, how did you do it? And I'd tell them, I was like, you have to look at all of these situations that happened prior to that major turning point in my life. Like those moments shaped me. Those moments gave me data. And after I was injured, I kept getting data.
from different experiences, different conversations that I would have with people. You know, the thing is, is like, we, you know, data is a word that is really tossed around. That's what our world consists of. Every brand is trying to gather data, right? To better understand their clients, their customers, their partners, to be able to be more efficient, to be able to create longer, sustainable relationships that ultimately allow people to be successful, whatever that interpretation is for you. But I eventually,
started to realize that I am a brand and I too should be gathering my own data and that data is okay that conversation with that gentleman in the airport and him giving me $20 that gives me data that tells me that I could there's some people out there that are able to receive that excuse me that are able to show up for me that are able to be a human being for me that lady in that parking structure
J.R. Martinez (:She showed up for me as a human being. Like that's data. sorry, Keith. and so, and so for me.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:No, no problem.
J.R. Martinez (:I wanted to paint that picture for people to truly understand how I've managed to get to the point of where I am in life right now and the life I've been able to create.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:As you think about your journey and how you got to resilience, were there strategies that you developed along the way? Because I think people hear about resilience and like everything else in life, they're like, give me the shortcut version to it. And I always tell people that the shortcut version always still walks through a minefield. And yeah, so how do you, what are the steps that you can say?
J.R. Martinez (:comments.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:help to develop the resilience that you have.
J.R. Martinez (:so.
Definitely practicing gratitude. That was something I had to, I still do to this day. When things feel like they're a little out of control and when something feels like it's not going my way. You know, listen, when you're in the entertainment industry,
in any capacity, there's going to be opportunities that are going to surface a lot of conversations that are going to happen. And then ultimately they may decide to go in a different direction for whatever reason. And that's fine. That's life. Right. I've lost a few opportunities. I wouldn't say I lost them. I never had them. But you know, the is is like, you know, there was strong conversations and it felt like it was going to go in this direction. And yet those things never turned my way.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:Right.
J.R. Martinez (:And in the midst of me wanting to easily look at that and just kind of you know, just marinating that and just like man, you know, like, you know do all that.
I learned to kind of just pivot and just say, you know, but what am I grateful for? Because had that opportunity happened, it would have taken me away from, you know, this project that I'm doing right now that actually is still here. It would have taken me away from my kid. Well, at the time, my kid, now my kids. And so for me, practicing gratitude is something that I it's something that I have to do because it kind of keeps me grounded and reminds me.
that life is still good and I still got a lot of things going my way even though this other thing didn't go my way at this particular time. But in that I also do a lot of kind of self -reflection. You know I do a lot of pause man I pause a lot and I...
And life is constantly reminding me that in the midst of us trying to grind and hustle, because that's the word that we're taught, and it's cool to say that you're grinding and you're busy, busy, busy. What I've learned is that, yeah, it's good to be busy.
But at the same time, it's also good to kind of just kind of sit in the silence and really lean in to that space and be quiet and really listen to yourself. You don't need other external factors. You just need to sit with yourself. I like to write.
J.R. Martinez (:I like to, I like to listen to music. I mean, the vibes always change for me. I could be in the mood where I'm like, I need something to beat. I need something to feel good or I need old school or I need, you know, whatever it is, the vibes are always changing for me. But music is a big thing. But, you know, there's, listen, I think I kind of embody a little bit of that. Everybody has a different style and everybody has everything works differently for other people. And so for me, I just try to embody all of those things. I go for walks.
And I go for walks where I don't need a podcast in my ear. I don't need music in my ear. I don't need to make a phone call. I just need to go on a walk and just kind of connect with earth and my surroundings, my environment. But you know, listen, I also do a lot of talking, man. I talk through a lot of these things that I'm trying to figure out, things that I'm feeling, things that I experience.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:I will take a phone call.
J.R. Martinez (:I talk through a lot of those things because that's the only way for me to be able to understand what the meaning is behind it because if those things keep surfacing, there's something I'm supposed to be learning from that. So I just spend a lot of time reflecting and pausing because that's where the magic is.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:I love it. I didn't mention this to you, but I noticed that you're from Shreveport, Louisiana. Well, I'm from, I'm from Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Now I went to Southern.
J.R. Martinez (:Mm -hmm.
LSU?
Okay, all right, that's cool.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:And I know up there there's another little school that we don't talk about. But anyway, so we share that common, I think, heritage. I always appreciate meeting people from my home state. As you think about, and I was gonna ask you this too, since I don't watch Dancing with the Stars, I know you were on Dancing with the Stars, how did you do?
J.R. Martinez (:Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no.
J.R. Martinez (:I won, I won that, yeah, I won that season. It's funny because I'll have people that will come up to me and say, man, I watched you on Dancing with the Stars and you were amazing and I voted for you every week, blah, blah. And I'm like, thank you so much. I really appreciate that. That means the world to me. And then they follow up with, I wish you would have won. And I'm like, man, come on.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:There you go.
J.R. Martinez (:You live.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:Did they also say, did they also say you look like Kevin Hart too?
J.R. Martinez (:my god.
You lying to me. Like, what are you talking about that, that, you know, you, you didn't watch me. You were voting for somebody else over there lying to my.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:That's right.
J.R. Martinez (:And and and so, you know, it's it's listen, that show for me at that stage of my life was incredible because what it did is it allowed me to show the world that I was so much more than what they thought I was. I was so much more than that. Right. Like I wasn't just a disabled veteran. I wasn't just a burned victim. I was a veteran. Yeah. But I was a burned survivor that I'm also like this guy that has this personality. Yeah.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:Right.
J.R. Martinez (:I can get down a little bit and you know like...
And I was just kind of this this personality that people can vibe with and connect with. And it became less about the trauma and more about just sort of the energy that I was putting out every single week on the show. And that's what people sort of connected with me with. And listen, that show, do not mistake. That show is a popularity contest. One hundred percent. It is about who can get the most votes. And when you're competing against a Kardashian, that.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:Yeah.
J.R. Martinez (:Difficult to beat a Kardashian. We know how powerful they are in the machine that they are And so for me to be able to pull that off to me just spoke volumes that You know people that watch that show from wherever they were they connected with my energy what I stand for what I'm about and That's what they loved and so I'm just appreciative of that show Because it gave me that opportunity to show the world that I was so much more than what they thought I was
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:Yeah.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:Right. So I'm curious, JR, as you think about where you are right now in this moment in your life, what are you most excited about in this season?
J.R. Martinez (:Well...
You know, my daughter just turned 12 and I have a two and a half year old son, little bit of a gap there. But what I'm excited about is, first of all, I need to get me a cough drop. I don't know what's going on. my God. I'm like, you know what, one thing in Texas, man, looking around my desk, I'm like, do I have a cough drop laying around somewhere?
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:Heheheheh
J.R. Martinez (:But in Texas, when people start coughing, they're like allergies, allergies. It's quick to be like allergies. Everything is allergies. But it actually might be allergies, who knows? But. That too, that too. You know, the stage of life, man, and I pinch myself because I'm so grateful and fortunate that my daughter plays.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:Or it's just as dry as heck in Texas, that's why.
J.R. Martinez (:Competitive softball travel select club, whatever people call it wherever you're from. I'm the head coach man and And I get to do that with my daughter and you know, just for example, like we played in the tournament this past weekend We're a first year 12u team. So we're the young kids walking around and You know, we played in the two -day tournament with some of the best second year 12u teams in the area and we won the whole damn thing and we've kind of been
Excuse me, we've kind of been doing that. And so I have those moments of reflection of where like, man, I get to do this. Like, this is, I'm so grateful that.
God and life has given me this life and this freedom, this flexibility to be able to be present with my kid. And that's the one thing I always wanted, you know, from my dad. My dad wasn't in my life. My mother was in my life, of course, but my mother worked a lot, you know, and, you know, and so.
that I get to be with my son, my two and a half year old knucklehead son who is high energy, but just a bundle of happiness and joy and love. And I get to spend time with my wife and just.
You know, like I'm kind of like, listen, yeah, do I have ambitions of wanting to do other things and get back into the entertainment industry? And yes, I'm traveling and I'm still speaking and doing all and doing podcasts and all this is great. And I love it. I love I love the connection that you and I have been able to create now. And and I know we'll always be connected. But but at the same time, it's like.
J.R. Martinez (:I'm just appreciative of the opportunity that I get to just be a dad, be the thing that I wanted my entire childhood. And I get to be that. And to me, that is first and foremost my priority right now.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:That's awesome. I love to ask my guests this question, Jared. This is my favorite question. What do you want your legacy to be?
J.R. Martinez (:J.R. Martinez (41:32.27)
that's a great question. Yeah, so.
J.R. Martinez (:You know, I haven't asked this question before. And...
My legacy is my kids, man. And how I show up for them and how I prepare them for life and how I, I'm gonna mess them up a little bit. I'm sure I am because we all mess up somehow. But for the most part, that I raised two little creatures to become people that stand up for others, to be people that...
or selfless and that's selfless to the point where it starts to compromise their own happiness and joy and integrity and values and energy and all that other stuff but just selfless enough to where their contributors to their community and to the people around them.
J.R. Martinez (:But I mean, I think for me, my legacy, you know, when people talk about, you know, I've been fortunate to do a lot of things. And when people talk about all those things that I've gotten a chance to do, you know, the thing I'm most proud of, title that I'm most proud of that doesn't get mentioned that I have kind of, you know, like those athletes that, you know, kind of, kind of give themselves, right. A nickname like.
You know, listen, Paul George, you know, if you watch basketball, he's like, playoff P. And I'm like, come on, man, that's not a good nickname because you haven't been doing anything in the playoffs, my man. So it rolls off the tongue, but it doesn't roll onto the court, if you know what I mean. And so, you know, but for me, the biggest thing that I think that I'd like to look at myself and be the most proud of is that I'm a cycle breaker.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:Right.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:You have body there.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:Mmm.
J.R. Martinez (:I'm a cycle breaker man. I really I am and I know I've done everything that history has said that I wouldn't have done right. In some cases data tells us a child that is raised in this kind of environment exposed to these type of things ends up kind of repeating the cycle ends up becoming this or that. And like I said I'm not perfect clearly not but I'm here.
And I'm willing to try to figure it out as a dad, as a husband, with my wife, with my kids. And I'm just a cycle breaker man. And I think for me, that's what I just, that's what I'm most proud of. And I think that's what my legacy is going to be, that I was willing to always lean in, not afraid of what.
not worried, not putting a lot of weight and giving a lot of control and power to this circumstance or to a thing. And instead I was going to sort of just own it and lean in and go for it and make it what I want it to be.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:I love that. So where can people find your book full of heart and connect with you on social media?
J.R. Martinez (:Well, you can find the book on my website, jrmartinez .com, but you can also hit me up on social. I am jrmartinez. So, you know, listen, I always love people to hit me up. You know, I know there's people might have a question or two or whatever, but.
I try to post as much as I can and try to connect with people. I love conversation and social media is a way to continue the conversation outside of this. So, if they feel inclined, come hit me up, come check me out. But at the end of the day, man, I just appreciate you creating the platform you've created and feeling like I can bring value to it and having me on your show. It's been a pleasure being here with you, man.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:Pleasure having you. Make sure you look up JR Martinez, not JD Martinez. You'll be coming to the Los Angeles Dodger outfielder.
J.R. Martinez (:man, let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. You know, so JR stands for not Junior, stands for Jose Rene, right? That's my first name. Jose Rene Martinez. That's my full name. As a kid, I went by Jose. Didn't want to go by Rene growing up in the South. Trust me, you don't want to go by Rene growing up in the South.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:Okay.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:No, probably not.
J.R. Martinez (:as a guy. And so, you know, I decided, you know, when I was a senior in high school, I'm gonna switch it up. I'm gonna create my own identity. I'm not gonna go by junior. I'm gonna go by JR, Jose Rene JR. Simple, right? Two letters. People still mess it up, man. People still come up to me and call me. They'll put two other letters together that ain't J and R. They'll put, I mean, listen, if at least you get the RJ, like, all right, you might be dyslexic. It's okay. We can rock with it. We can make it work.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:Right.
J.R. Martinez (:But people start putting in other letters from the alphabet together thinking I'm going to respond. I'm like, listen, people, I've simplified this as much as I possibly can. At this point, it's going to turn into a symbol like Prince, like because you guys figure out two letters is two letters, ladies and gentlemen. That's it. So please do not confuse it. And it was funny because the first time it really clicked where somebody was messing this up. I remember when I was recovering this within the initial first three months of the hospital in the hospital.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:That's right.
J.R. Martinez (:there was a patient down the hall. He was, you know, you know, badly injured as well. And his mom every morning, he, my hospital room door would be open in the morning because there was a lot of staff in and out. And I wasn't allowed to leave my room for three months. I had to stay in isolation because of my injuries and, you know, just impossible, like infections and all this stuff. And so the mom, every morning she would pass my room to go to her son's room every morning. She would walk by. She'd kind of poop.
her heading you know and she would every day put two random letters together good morning two letters good tomorrow good morning two letters she was always doing that and it just got to a point where i was just like good morning just good morning whatever two letters it is today i'm just gonna roll with it it's all good have fun
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:Yeah.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:Well, JR, thank you so much for being on the podcast. I really appreciate what you do and the inspirational story that you tell and the joy and the energy and the passion you bring to what you do because we need that sense of encouragement. Thank you for your service to this country and to those people you inspire through your presentation, yours.
J.R. Martinez (:How are you?
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:you're dancing with the stars, you're acting, all of that is just a reminder to us that no matter what limitations we think are out there in front of us, we can break the code and we can be who God created us to be if we just step outside of that box that people try to put us into.
J.R. Martinez (:Absolutely.
Absolutely.
J.R. Martinez (:Yep. And listen, you know, before we jump off, I just, I know I said this before we went on, you know, but, and I know your son is in the military. So just obviously want to extend that here. Thank him for his service. But I also want to thank.
anybody that's watching that's part of this that has served in the military, serving in the military to the family members, to any first responders out there. Much love to all you guys and for everyone else that hasn't served, but you know, they're kind of fascinated by these people. I encourage you as we're always inclined to go up to vets and say thank you for your service. And I appreciate that. But I challenge people to take it a step further. Instead of just saying thank you, why don't you ask them about their service? Because in some cases we don't really understand what we're thanking them for. We know they did.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:Mmm.
J.R. Martinez (:something we just don't know what it is and kind of leave it up with that question. It gives them the opportunity to share, it gives them the opportunity to connect with you on a human level versus like that's a military service member and I'm a civilian, two different worlds, we don't have anything in common. So you just, you know, I'm always trying to find ways to find intersectionality between a lot of different worlds. So I just encourage everyone to do that. But yeah, thanks again, man. It's a pleasure to be here. I had a lot of fun doing this. And
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:Right.
J.R. Martinez (:Look forward to seeing all the good things you're going to be doing in the future.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:And you're welcome to come on again anytime. I enjoyed the conversation, my friend.
J.R. Martinez (:Awesome, awesome. I would say we do it in person, but I don't get up to Iowa that much, especially in this tornado season you got going on up there.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:I do get down because my brother and my son live in Texas. So my brother lives in Dallas. And my brother lives in Dallas. So.
J.R. Martinez (:watch out, let's come down here!
J.R. Martinez (:She's got to come down here, man. Just come on down here. Get away from that crazy weather up there. Come on down here. My neighbor's from Iowa. I don't know where, but she's from Iowa. So you can find some folk down here you can kick it with and talk about Iowa. All right, Keith. Thank you so much, brother. It was a pleasure, my man. All right, take care.
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:laughs
of Becoming Bridge Builders (:There you go. Always.
Thank you too.
