From Rock Bottom to Global Impact: Valencia Dantzler’s Gratitude-Powered Comeback

Keith Haney: 00:01:00

My guest today is Valencia Dantzler, known known worldwide as a gratitude grandmaster, is the go to expert for busy executives seeking to transform their lives without spending hours on complex mindset work. She helps high achieving professionals transform their biggest challenges into breakthrough moments.

By utilizing simple science backed gratitude practices.

Valencia transformed her own life from contemplating suicide to building an international coaching business through her signature Fly High Framework executive coaching program and exclusive retreats in Nairobi.

Her approach combines the simplicity of gratitude with proven brain science, helping leaders get unstuck and achieve their biggest goals in weeks, not years. We welcome her to, to the podcast. Well, Valencia, welcome to the podcast. How you doing today?

Valencia Dantzler: 00:01:56

I am super fantastic. I hope you are as well.

Keith Haney: 00:01:59

I am. I'm not in as beautiful a setting as you are. My background is my office. You're out there with mountains and all kinds of cool stuff. So.

Valencia Dantzler: 00:02:09

Yeah, I know, I know. I'm loving it. I can't, I can't deny it. I, I'm very grateful.

Keith Haney: 00:02:17

God is good.

Valencia Dantzler: 00:02:20

Yes, yes, yes.

Keith Haney: 00:02:22

So I'm gonna ask you my favorite question. I ask all my guests, what's the best piece of advice you ever received?

Valencia Dantzler: 00:02:29

Oh, Les Brown told me, no matter what, keep going. And he was right. He said, you're gonna have ups and downs in life. I said, les Brown, I said, you've been through so much in your life.

I read his book and I said, how were you able to just, you know, be having, have integrity, knowing that you've gone through so much in your life and then able to speak life into other people, even though maybe your life wasn't going great at the time? He said, keep going. No matter what, keep going.

Keith Haney: 00:03:09

I love that. That is, that's powerful words of advice because we pressing on. You know, I think I was the.

As I talked to a lot of people, especially about this current generation, what they lament most more than anything else is that have we trained our young people to be resilient, to keep going on when things get difficult or, you know, because as a parent, you want to protect your child and make sure you, you save them from all the bad things. But are we, are we in doing that, are we not helping them to be prepared for the tough times ahead? So I love that about keep moving forward.

Valencia Dantzler: 00:03:43

Right? Keep going. He said, keep moving. Love it.

Keith Haney: 00:03:48

As you think about your life and your journey, who are some people in your life who served as a mentor for you or even a source of inspiration on your journey? You can kind of give them a shout out right now.

Valencia Dantzler: 00:04:00

Well, I'm, I shout out to Les Brown, right? Because he was the original, right? Or is. Is he is the original, right? And then from.

From him, people like one of my best menders, Joseph McLennan III.

He has definitely imparted a lot of wisdom on my life and just, you know, even what I do, you know, day to day, he's really helped me with that a lot.

Keith Haney: 00:04:30

That's so cool. Well, we want to thank those people for being a blessing to you. And. And I'm not sure, not just you, but many others as well. So.

Valencia Dantzler: 00:04:37

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, he's been key.

Keith Haney: 00:04:44

So, Val, you're known around the world as a gratitude grandmaster. Can you share where that title came from and what it means to you to be known as that?

Valencia Dantzler: 00:04:54

Okay, so it really has to do with. With my story. So I know people see the big smile that's on my face. It is real.

You know, I'm not about any fakery or anything like that, but eight years ago, I was really at the place where not only did I want to say bye to America, right? But I wanted to say goodbye to the whole world, right? And I'm the type of person, I grew up in church. I was always good in school.

You know, I graduated magna cum laude, all of that. However, you know, I had gotten to a point in my life where I just didn't want to go on.

And I ran across this video, just a brief video, and the lady happened to mention that she started exercising gratitude. I took her up on that. Long story short, I tried it for a week. I felt better. By the end of the month, I wanted to live. And I couldn't believe it.

And so then that made me go in and really find out what is the science behind this.

Keith Haney: 00:06:01

So. So dig deeper into that. Tell us about the science.

I mean, we kind of, as Christians, we know, you know, that Paul says, be thankful in all circumstances, and he really tells Jesus a preference. Practice gratitude, but give us the science behind it, besides just the spiritual aspect of it.

Valencia Dantzler: 00:06:17

Okay, I love to do that.

And also, before we really get into it, because I know this is going to be a great discussion, I want to thank you for having me on, and I absolutely love everything that you are doing. Okay? And I want everyone to just stop what they're doing. Subscribe to this podcast, okay?

Give him a great five, five star rating, because this is how we spread this message to the whole wide world. Okay? So I want to thank you and let you know that I'm grateful that I'm on here today.

Keith Haney: 00:06:50

Well, thank You. It's a pleasure. Yeah, it's a. It's a. It's a labor of love for me, so.

Valencia Dantzler: 00:06:55

Good. I could definitely tell that. I could definitely tell that. So. Yeah. So the science behind gratitude, for instance.

Well, I went on because it saved my life within. Within 30 days. I wanted to live it made me figure out what just happened. Something happened here.

And so I had to find the science behind it because like I told you, I grew up in the church. Absolutely nothing wrong with the church. Right.

But it just wasn't enough for me at the time because I had made up my mind, I had set the date, what I knew I was going to do and when I was going to do it. Right. And nobody knew.

And how many people do we know, even in the church, that you know gospel singers and things like that and you know, we've lost them. Right, Right. So it was a real thing that I was feeling at the end of that 30 days. And I went on to become an elite neuro encoding specialist.

And all that means is I help myself as well as other people reprogram themselves so they can live the life that they want to do. And it was science. And with that gratitude practice, unknowingly I was doing that. Okay. And all it was is I changed my perspective.

You know, we have glasses, Both of us have glasses on. Right?

Keith Haney: 00:08:22

Right.

Valencia Dantzler: 00:08:22

Take the glass off, things could be a little bit blurry. Okay. But put the glasses on, you're looking at the same thing. But, oh, it's clearer now. Our lens has changed. So it's science, it's not woo woo.

It might sound like it's woo woo, Right? What do you mean? Something. And you can see clear. Right. But we take it secondhand now because we know what glasses are. Right?

Keith Haney: 00:08:45

Right.

Valencia Dantzler: 00:08:45

But it's the same thing. It is putting on a different lens, looking at the. At the same thing. Right?

Keith Haney: 00:08:54

Right.

Valencia Dantzler: 00:08:54

And so I chose to look at it with a lens of gratitude. Now, in Neuro and Cody, we say what you write, you invite. So I actually had a journal and every day I would write down only what I'm grateful for.

I didn't know anything about neuron science or neur encoding. This was a download from God. Okay?

Keith Haney: 00:09:19

Right.

Valencia Dantzler: 00:09:20

Nobody told me how to do this. The little lady on the video did not tell me how to do this. This is all a download, okay? And so I started.

I could only write down what I was grateful for on those pages.

And it was very difficult at first because I was the type of person who would get up in the morning thinking about all the relationships that didn't work, all the money that I didn't have, okay? And I'm telling you, these things were rehearsed in my head for years. Not. I'm not talking about one or two years. I'm talking 10, 15, 20 years, okay?

But guess what? Now I know I was programming myself for the demise unknowingly. Nobody wants demise. Right, but because it's so, you know, we're in this world, right?

But we don't have to be of the world, right? So it's easy for us to look at the negative. It's easy for us to be even consumed on the news by the negative. Right?

But what that's actually doing is this programming in our subconscious mind, which I believe is your connection to God, Okay? It's way more powerful than your conscious mind or your thinking mind or your mind is always trying to figure things out.

Doesn't the Bible say, proclaim a thing, proclaim what you want? Yeah, that's. That's knowing the what, that's tuning in to that subconscious, that God in you. God doesn't tell us to figure out how it's gonna happen.

That's it. That's his job.

Keith Haney: 00:10:58

Right?

Valencia Dantzler: 00:10:59

We just need to know the what. And that's neuroscience. We need to know the what and be passionate about that thing. Right?

Keith Haney: 00:11:07

Right.

Valencia Dantzler: 00:11:08

And I'm telling you, gonna get a download. What you're looking for is looking for you. And that's what happened to me eight years ago. And now look, the whole world has been opened up to me.

Keith Haney: 00:11:19

I love that. As you think about your story, though, you know, for people who are hearing this and they're maybe in that place you were.

It's like everything just seems like it's crashing out around them. For you, what was the turning point where. So you started doing it for gratitude? Practice.

But what was that turning point was like, okay, now this is starting to stick, as opposed to, you know, just surviving. Now it's like I'm. My whole outlook has changed. My. My vision for the future has changed. There really is joy where there was sorrow. When did.

What was that turning point for you?

Valencia Dantzler: 00:11:52

Well, that turning point for me was. Was really. I mean, eight years ago, when I. I took a chance. I didn't believe it was going to work.

Keith Haney: 00:12:00

I.

Valencia Dantzler: 00:12:01

Listen, I had made the date. I set the date, and I'm a calendar girl.

Keith Haney: 00:12:05

Yeah.

Valencia Dantzler: 00:12:06

When you put something on my calendar, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna show up. I'm gonna be there. Okay. You don't even have to keep reminding me. It's on my calendar. I'm gonna do it right?

So I put the date on my calendar, okay? So that means I was serious about it. Like I'm. I'm done. I'm done trying. So I hope nobody gets to that point where they're totally, totally done.

But I'm telling you, it was really God Almighty God, right? That put that happenstance video in front of me, okay? And the late. And I said, you know what? I know it's not gonna work. That ain't gonna work.

Because she told me, just think about what you're grateful for every day. And I said, girl, by the time when I get up in the morning, I've already thought about 10,000 problems.

10,000 things that have got have gone wrong in my life, okay? But something said I knew the what I really want. Everybody really wants to live, right? That's the what nobody really wants the demise.

They really don't want that. What you really want is the pain to be gone. So that what I want, the pain to be gone sent me. Well, why don't you just write it down in a journal?

I said I hadn't had a journal since I was 7 years old. What are you talking about? Well, it's not going to work. But you know what? At least when they find me, I' ma had this journal.

And it at least I tried because that's evidence that I tried and that what was in my mind. So I went out and got that journal and I started writing it down. I said, I'm gonna give myself a week.

And at the end of that week, I felt just a little bit better. I was like, no, I know this is not real, but mine is playing tricks on me.

But since nobody knows what I'm gonna do anyway, let me just delay it one more week and try it again. And I felt a little bit better. So the turning point was starting to happen. Third week, let me just try one more time. Delayed it again.

I felt better, but by the end of that month, I didn't have those feelings anymore. I wasn't waking up in dread anymore. And so that was the turning point for me. I said, wait a minute, I got something here.

I don't know what just happened, but for years and years and years, I'm no longer thinking those thoughts that I was thinking. And I want live.

Keith Haney: 00:14:45

That is powerful.

So you coach people now in this and tell us about your fly high framework, because I think it'd be helpful for kind of us to dig into, you know, how do you teach this to other people now?

Valencia Dantzler: 00:14:58

Yeah. So I use a fly high. I have a community, and I teach the fly high. It's called. The community is called ease over exhaustion. Okay?

And in this community, I do group coaching, and I talk about fly high. So imagine you have all these negative thoughts, okay? And they're toxic thoughts. So it could be procrastination, putting things off.

It could be imposter syndrome, and I don't feel like I'm good enough. Right? All those things are toxins. And imagine that going in a murky, murky, murky water.

But there's this ladder out of this water, and the first rung is F for fly. And that means F. That means stands for focus. The next rung is L, Lift. So focus is. Set your sights on what it is, the what that you want.

Start lifting yourself out. Start. Stop thinking somebody's gonna save you, because you really got to be the one to save yourself. Okay? So lift.

Start going in that direction that you want to go. Why? You're gonna yield a better life. You're gonna look back and you're like, dang, all that murky water down there.

But I'm outside of the water, and I see myself going, okay, H. Halt. This is for high. Halt. That means change. Change the narrative. Change. Interrupt that pattern that you've been in, right?

So by me practicing gratitude in the morning, I interrupt the prat. The pattern, okay? A, Action. Make sure you're taking action towards that thing that you want to take every day, okay? Live action every day. Live.

Do something that it is you want to do, okay? And G, of course, is gratitude. Be thankful. Be grateful, okay? And practice that. That's the fly high.

Keith Haney: 00:17:06

So as you.

As you tell people, walk through these steps in this process, maybe share some stories of some of the people who've been transformed by this besides yourself. We know you were. But I'm just curious. Is there a client that comes to mind that you kind of is like maybe your.

Your signature client of that you're so proud of what. What God has done through them?

Valencia Dantzler: 00:17:27

Well, I actually have new clients here in Rwanda, which I'm excited about, and they are very, very receptive to what I'm saying. So I have one brand new client. He's only been a client for, like, two weeks, but he has already, of course, had consultations with me and things.

And, you know, here in Rwanda, there is a thing of.

A lot of young people are dealing with alcoholism and things like that because they're not able to or they feel that they're not able to communicate their wants and their needs. They feel like they need to keep those things inside. One, they don't want to be disrespectful to their parents. Right.

Because it's about the parents telling you what to do and you heeding to that. Right. So you don't feel comfortable in saying, but I need help. Right. So a lot of this is going on.

So I'm happy to say that he, and of course I never mentioned names or anything, but he is not no longer drinking or anything like that. He has a new lease on life. We figured out what his, what truly is and what puts him.

When he, when he says, hey, I'm feeling down, I've given him tools to say the what that you want. Let's go ahead. And automatically, when you feel yourself going down, let's automatically tune you into that higher frequency.

And we've identified some things to go in his toolbox that automatically puts him in that frequency so he. That he can lift his own self up and feel good. Because I say when you high, you can fly, but when you low, your very destiny, you will blow.

And it's only up to the person individually to keep themselves as high as they can.

Keith Haney: 00:19:20

So you've done retreats too. What led you to start doing retreats to help teach this to people?

Valencia Dantzler: 00:19:26

Well, as you can tell, I'm a fun person. I like to have fun. Okay. I do believe in ease over exhaustion because I've had to do it for myself. So basically, I'm living my story out loud.

Yes, I do host retreats here, right here in Kigali, because I want people to come and experience a sense of freedom where they can really be themselves. They don't have to worry about crime or anything like that. Very, very receptive.

You'll be treated like, I mean, average people treat you like kings and queens, not according to the color of your skin, but because you are a human being. Right. And that is everyone's birthright. Okay. So I want them to come and experience that.

And in the process, we learned just a little bit about neuroscience and how to do this on a daily basis. But it's to get them out of that environment of a life of exhaustion, burnout, you don't like what's going on.

And for two weeks you can be here and experience something that's really going to last your whole lifetime.

Keith Haney: 00:20:44

I have a lot of my listeners who are also executives. I'm curious, what are you discovering with high level executives when they Deal with the, the stress of life.

What, what common themes are you running across as you try to help them transform their thinking and to be more gratitude grand masters.

Valencia Dantzler: 00:21:02

Well, so I just got off the phone with someone, actually, high powered executive had gotten to the point where just on that, what I call that hamster wheel, okay, Doing the job, paying the bills, making sure everything at home is right, doing all that stuff. And then you look up one day and either your health is bad, right? Maybe you had a heart attack, right? You.

You feel like you're getting ready to break at any point, so you're having a mental breakdown.

Even though you have a beautiful home, even though you, you have everything a person would ever want, you have even quote, unquote, the looks of a great marriage, right? Everything on the outside looks great, chef kiss, but on the inside, you're dying inside.

And your body is usually the first thing that really is going to tell you that this is what's happening. Stress. And we know stress kills you, okay?

So really, whether they're an executive or they're just average Joe, I'm finding that a lot of people are going through the same thing. That stress, that burnout. And it is okay for you to say, hold up, wait a minute, I need some help here. I need to get out of this, okay?

And that's where I come in. That's where I come into play. And I'm able to just give them practical advice on what they should do. They carry it out.

Oh, I mean, within moments, sometimes the first session, they're feeling great about it.

Keith Haney: 00:22:50

I love this. Yeah, I know, this is great. So for the person who's listening to this podcast, they go, I need somewhere to start.

What would you say would be the one? Simple gratitude practice. They can start today to shift their mindset.

Valencia Dantzler: 00:23:06

Okay. Get yourself a journal. Not just a little piece of paper, okay? I need you to have some place where you can put it so that it's special to you, okay?

Because you're actually gonna date this journal. Okay? You're gonna date this journal. You're gonna make a selection session, a date with yourself. And I want you to put a time on your calendar.

Whether it's, I like, first thing in the morning, okay. When you wake up, have it right by your bed, okay? And write down three to five things that you're grateful for. Not knowing what it is.

I just want you to say, I am happy and grateful that. That and just let your. It'll kick in. You won't know what you're gonna write, but all of a sudden, it's gonna come to you.

Write those three to five things down, close that book and go on about your day. That's it. Do it for a week. Watch what it does for you. I dare you. Do it.

Keith Haney: 00:24:18

All right, let's take the challenge, audiences. Get yourself a journal and, and do it. What Val asks us to do is. And see what happens.

As I believe, like you talk about, if you start out thinking about all that God has done for you every day, your perspective of the day already changes. If you go into the day expecting a day to go badly, you will find that in your life without even a whole lot of work. So, yeah, I agree with you.

Valencia Dantzler: 00:24:45

Yeah, it is very true. It's scientific, but it's just more than science. It's just.

It's just the way that it's, you know, what it's done for me, it's brought the Bible, it's made the Bible even clearer to me. These principles and things has made the word more legible to me, made me understand it more deeply, because I'm actually doing a thing.

I'm not just hearing a word. This is in the Bible too, but I'm doing it. And I'm not overly religious person. I'm not. But I did grow up in the church, right? So it's in me.

But I am telling you, don't just be a hero of the word. You got to do.

And when you have that journal and you write down every day, you are doing, and that's where your transformation is going to come in the doing. It's not just the hearing, it's the doing.

Keith Haney: 00:25:41

I love it. So what's the future vision for your work that you're doing now?

Valencia Dantzler: 00:25:47

You know what? I really want everyone. And look, Kigali doesn't pay me, but I want everyone to experience Kigali, like, for real.

Like, you guys need to come here and experience it. And you will look back and you will be like, oh, my God, that's a beautiful experience.

I was actually treated such with ease, you know, I could actually relax here, not necessarily on just what people are promoting to us, because I've been in Mexico, Jamaica, Bahamas, Canada, okay. But I had no idea. Not the desire hadn't even reached me to visit Africa, but once I got here, it's beautiful.

The food is fresh, everything is organic. Okay? The cost of living is very, very low. And it's beautiful. The people are beautiful. I wake up every Sunday morning to a choir singing.

I can hear the choir singing right a block over. And the children are just singing. Yeah. It is so beautiful here. So, anyway.

Keith Haney: 00:26:55

All right. Make me want to move to Africa now.

Valencia Dantzler: 00:26:59

Come on, come on. While you playing. So you know what I say? I say, I say live your life now, because one day you won't be able to.

Keith Haney: 00:27:11

That's very true.

So I have something new for my guests in season six of the podcast, and that is you get to pick a number for a secret question that you did not get ahead of time. So pick a number between one and four, and we'll figure out what your secret question is.

Valencia Dantzler: 00:27:26

One and four. I'm gonna pick four.

Keith Haney: 00:27:28

All right. And your surprise question is. Oh, here you go. Is a hot dog a sandwich?

Valencia Dantzler: 00:27:34

And if so, why is a hot dog a sandwich? And if so, why? If it's between two pieces of bread, I would say, yeah.

Keith Haney: 00:27:48

You made all the Chicago people happy.

Valencia Dantzler: 00:27:51

Exactly. Exactly. Look, I. I'm a. I'm a newly proclaimed vegetarian, too, but we have. We have veggie hot dogs here. Okay.

Keith Haney: 00:28:03

I love it. So I'm curious, Val, as you think about the impact you're having on the world right now, what do you want your legacy to be?

Valencia Dantzler: 00:28:14

I just want people to definitely believe in themselves and know that they have all the tools that God has given them, all the. All the tools to have the desires of their heart. You just have to have the courage to go after it, and that's it.

Keith Haney: 00:28:33

I love that.

So, as we wrap up our conversation, what key takeaway do you want to leave with the audience as you help them to go on that or begin that gratitude journey?

Valencia Dantzler: 00:28:45

I really want you.

Well, even doing the simple gratitude practice, you're really going to start falling in love with your journal, but you're going to really fall in love with yourself, and then you're going to know why God loves you so much. Okay. It's in the doing of that that you're going to. To get that you're going to fall in love with yourself just by doing that work. So.

Keith Haney: 00:29:08

So where can people connect with you and learn more about what you do on social media?

Valencia Dantzler: 00:29:13

They can go to my Instagram, which is at Val Dancer. It's just like my name V a L D a n T like Tom Zebra L er again at Val Danceler.

And they can just DM me the word E's E a S E. And I have a special gift. I have a really, really special gift for all your listeners. I'm going to give them. It's a free little quiz that they can take.

Takes about two minutes. Right. They fill that out and they're going to get a free wellness plan for themselves customized to them. All right? And also they're going to get.

If you ever even thought about coming to Africa. Where should I go?

Because of that quiz I'm gonna send you, you're gonna be able to know exactly which country is best for you based on what your preferences are.

Keith Haney: 00:30:16

All right, that's. That's good to know because I'm. I'm found out from my ancestry dot com. I'm from Nigeria, but.

Valencia Dantzler: 00:30:24

Oh, okay. That's good.

Keith Haney: 00:30:26

That's good.

Valencia Dantzler: 00:30:27

I mean, you know, you'll see. It's beautiful. I see my cousins every other day. I saw my ex boyfriend the other day here. Right. So everybody has a friend has a twin here.

Like, for real. That's. That's. That's for real. So it's. It's beautiful.

Keith Haney: 00:30:42

That's amazing. Well, Val, thanks so much for taking the time to help us think more about gratitude and appreciating the things that God has done.

Blessings on the work you're doing and the beautiful sunset behind you there in Africa. We are so thankful that we had this conversation.

Valencia Dantzler: 00:30:57

Thank you so much. Thank you for having me. I'm sending you love.

Keith Haney: 00:31:01

Thank you.