Building a Mindset of Calm and Joy: Tools for Personal Transformation
Alicia Michelle, an ICF certified Christian life coach and neuro coach, joins us to illuminate the profound intersection of emotional management and spiritual growth. Through her extensive experience, she has empowered numerous individuals with practical tools derived from both neuroscience and scripture, enabling them to navigate their emotions with confidence and discernment. In our discussion, we delve into the innovative three-step method she presents in her book, *Emotional Confidence*, designed to help individuals acknowledge, discern, and decide on their emotional responses. Alicia's insights reveal that emotions, rather than being obstacles, serve as valuable indicators of our inner experiences, guiding us towards a deeper relationship with God. We explore the significance of recognizing and understanding our emotional landscape as a vital component of personal and spiritual development.
Alicia Michelle, an ICF certified Christian life coach, delves into the profound intersection of emotional management and spiritual growth in this enlightening podcast episode. As the author of 'Emotional Confidence' and a prominent speaker, Alicia shares her extensive experience equipping women with tools to navigate their emotional landscapes through a biblical lens. By intertwining neuroscience with scriptural principles, she elucidates how individuals can rewire toxic thought patterns, fostering a state of calm confidence and joy. The episode highlights Alicia's personal journey from a medical crisis, which catalyzed her exploration of emotional well-being, to her current role as a coach who helps others achieve emotional resilience through faith-based practices. In a candid discussion, she emphasizes the importance of acknowledging one's emotions as valid indicators of inner states, thereby advocating for a balanced approach that honors both feelings and faith. This dialogue not only serves as a guide for listeners seeking emotional healing but also invites a deeper relationship with God as they navigate the complexities of human experience.
The conversation with Alicia Michelle unveils the intricate dynamics of emotions and their significance in the life of a believer. Alicia articulates her journey from being a journalist to becoming a neuro coach, driven by a desire to understand the interplay between her emotional struggles and her faith. The episode reveals her development of a unique methodology that combines neuroscience and scripture, empowering individuals to manage their emotions through a structured approach. Alicia's book, 'Emotional Confidence,' serves as a cornerstone for her coaching, offering a three-part method that encourages listeners to acknowledge their feelings, discern the truth behind them, and decide on a course of action that aligns with their faith. Through her insights, Alicia provides listeners with practical applications for integrating emotional awareness into their spiritual lives, thereby fostering a profound sense of self-awareness and divine connection. This episode ultimately serves as an invitation for listeners to explore their emotional landscapes with grace and understanding, promoting a holistic view of emotional health as part of their spiritual journey.
Takeaways:
- Alicia Michelle, the guest on today's podcast, is an ICF-certified Christian life coach and author.
- Through her coaching, Alicia has empowered numerous women with practical tools to manage their emotions.
- The discussion emphasized the importance of acknowledging emotions without judgment as a vital step in emotional management.
- Alicia's book Emotional Confidence outlines a three-part method to help individuals navigate their emotions effectively.
Links referenced in this episode:
Alicia Michelle, ACC, CPLC, is an ICF-certified Christian life coach and NeuroCoach, author of Emotional Confidence, popular conference speaker, and multi-award-winning podcast host of the top-ranked podcast The Christian Mindset Coach with Alicia Michelle. Through her coaching and courses, Alicia has equipped thousands of women with practical brain-and-biblically-based tools to manage emotions and rewire toxic thought patterns for more calm, confidence, and joy. She loves to travel, cook, draw, paint, and savor life with her beloved husband, four kids, and four dogs. Connect with Alicia on Facebook or Instagram at @aliciamichellecoach, listen to her podcast on your favorite podcast player, or download her free resources at AliciaMichelle.com.
Transcript
My guest today is Alicia Michelle.
Speaker A:She's a ICF certified Christian life coach and neuro coach, author of Emotional Confidence, popular conference speaker, multi award winning podcast, host of a top ranked podcast, the Christian Mindset.
Speaker A:Through her coaching and courses, Alicia has equipped thousands of women with practical brain and practical Bible based tools to manage emotions and rewire toxic thoughts patterns for more calm confidence and joy.
Speaker A:She loves to travel, cook, draw, paint and savor the life of the beloved husband, four kids and four dogs.
Speaker A:Well, welcome to the podcast.
Speaker A:How are you doing today?
Speaker B:I'm doing awesome.
Speaker B:How about you?
Speaker A:I'm great.
Speaker A:It's a little chilly here.
Speaker A:I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker A:It's high up in the teens, so.
Speaker B:Oh, and then there's windchill.
Speaker B:On top of that, there's wind chill.
Speaker A:And for a Louisiana boy, this is a little bit beyond my blood pay grade.
Speaker B:Although I heard that even like Louisiana and Florida are getting some snow right now.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:I contacted my cousin and said, here, you're welcome, we'll send you more.
Speaker A:She's like, no, I'm good.
Speaker A:Stop.
Speaker B:No, that's crazy.
Speaker B:Yeah, the weather's so wacky right now.
Speaker A:We could send some to San Diego if you like.
Speaker A:I could, you know, I could definitely.
Speaker B:We could use some of the wetness in whatever form you'll give us, we'll take it.
Speaker B:Yeah, definitely.
Speaker A:You say that till the snow shows up and then I know you're sliding across the room.
Speaker B:But then we'd be, we'd be done with it in a few days too.
Speaker A:I'm sure that's true.
Speaker A:I've been in San Diego.
Speaker A:It's like they say, it's like paradise is perfect all the time.
Speaker A:I'm like, who wants to live in perfection?
Speaker A:It's just this kind of boring life.
Speaker B:I got it.
Speaker B:Be real.
Speaker B:Yeah, God convicted me about that recently.
Speaker B:Like, you have great weather.
Speaker B:Stop complaining about it.
Speaker B:And I'm like, but it's so boring.
Speaker A:All the time, right?
Speaker B:It's like 70 degrees every day.
Speaker A:I know.
Speaker A:Ooh, how terrible.
Speaker B:I know.
Speaker B:I know.
Speaker B:Lots to complain about, right?
Speaker A:So I'm going to ask you my favorite question.
Speaker A:Ask all my guests.
Speaker A:What's the best piece of advice you've ever received?
Speaker B:Oh, my.
Speaker B:I think if you would ask.
Speaker B:It depends on the point in life that I would have been told the advice.
Speaker B:If you had asked me that question as a younger person, like a teen, early 20s, I would have said, just work as hard as you can to get what you want in life.
Speaker B:If you ask me that question now, the Greatest advice that I've received is more than anything else, no matter if it makes sense or not, follow God, Follow hard after God.
Speaker B:Give his dream, give your dreams to him and let him make whatever efforts he allows you to participate in.
Speaker B:Be for his glory.
Speaker B:But that was flip flopped for me early on, which caused a lot of emotional issues and eventually a huge medical crisis for me.
Speaker B:But I wish I had had that advice.
Speaker B:But maybe I think that kind of advice is hard to take and understand without those of us who have walked with the Lord for a long time to have that trust right in his ways.
Speaker B:Because if you just hear that, you're like, okay, yeah, trust in the Lord with all your heart, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker B:But if you, once you step into that and you see God's faithfulness over and over and over and over, you really do.
Speaker B:It really does change your perspective.
Speaker A:It does, because you start to gain wisdom from your experiences that those things make sense.
Speaker A:You can get great advice when you're young.
Speaker A:Don't take life for granted.
Speaker A:Enjoy every moment.
Speaker A:Well, you're 25.
Speaker A:It's like, yeah, whatever.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just going to do what I need to do and what I want to do.
Speaker B:And yeah, following him is definitely the best decision I ever made.
Speaker B:And I made that decision when I was 19.
Speaker A:So yeah, that's neat.
Speaker A:I'm curious, as you think about your life and the journey you've been on, who are some people in your life who may have popped up for a season or journey with you a long time that were mentors or inspirations for you?
Speaker B:Okay, so instantly I can think of two people.
Speaker B:First is a young woman named Nikki, who I mentioned that I became a Christian when I was 19.
Speaker B:I became a Christian through an on campus ministry.
Speaker B:And it was kind of, there's a story about how I got to that on campus ministry that day.
Speaker B:But she was the person standing at the door.
Speaker B:My, my words to her when I walked in the door were, I am new to this school.
Speaker B:I don't know anyone.
Speaker B:I want to meet nice people.
Speaker B:And I've heard Christians are nice people.
Speaker B:Is this where I meet Christians?
Speaker B:True story.
Speaker B:And she kind of looked at me and was like, okay, like, come on in, you know.
Speaker B:And she mentored me for three years through college and just gave me this solid foundation of this is who God is.
Speaker B:This is what the Bible says.
Speaker B:This is how to study his word.
Speaker B:This is how to follow Him.
Speaker B:And she was.
Speaker B:So I would have all these questions and she would like have another little pamphlet under my dorm room and, you know, slipped under the door and I'd be like, oh, Nikki, you know.
Speaker B:But still to this day, she now serves with that same ministry as one of their directors she and her husband serve.
Speaker B:So it's awesome how God has used that in her life.
Speaker B:But just still to this day, I think she invested in this girl who was so just questioning God and what is this true and all this stuff.
Speaker B:She just kept investing.
Speaker B:The other person is a woman named Sandy, who, when I was a young mom and just really overwhelmed by motherhood, I one day found she was a neighbor.
Speaker B:She was two doors down from me.
Speaker B:I found a little package on my doorstep, just random, like a gift.
Speaker B:And she just said, I saw you walking through the neighborhood and that you just had a baby.
Speaker B:Congratulations.
Speaker B:And it was like a little, I don't know, some sort of little baby gift.
Speaker B:And it just sparked this whole relationship.
Speaker B:Sandy is from South Africa.
Speaker B:And so there was this very, I don't know, old world, genteel style about her that taught me, it's okay, slow down, have some tea.
Speaker B:Sit out here with me in the garden.
Speaker B:Let the kids play.
Speaker B:Just relax.
Speaker B:We're going to, you know, you're going to be okay.
Speaker B:And so she was that very motheringly kind of voice to me when my mom wasn't close.
Speaker B:My mom didn't live close by, and she was a great influence into being okay with who I was and feeling overwhelmed and helping me through some tough seasons.
Speaker B:So those two ladies have been pretty instrumental for me in my growth.
Speaker A:Oh, what neat stories.
Speaker A:So how did you go from someone who's walking into a campus going where the Christians at to being an IFC certified Christian life coach?
Speaker B:Well, like, you know, 20, almost 29 years of, well, 29 years, almost 30 years have happened since that moment.
Speaker B:Excuse me.
Speaker B:I graduated.
Speaker B:I have a degree in journalism.
Speaker B:My interest was working in pr and I did lots of different things.
Speaker B:I worked for a magazine for a while, but eventually realized wanted to stay home.
Speaker B:And we homeschooled for many years.
Speaker B:And as part of that, I still wanted to keep writing.
Speaker B:So I was became a blogger.
Speaker B:Back in the day, you know, when it was first starting out, that was something I did and began writing on women's issues and writing on homeschooling.
Speaker B: And then: Speaker B:We can go into that if you want to, but it was a very scary time that caused me to be flat on my back for nine months, and everything was stripped away.
Speaker B:And God really got to my heart and said, you have to change some very important parts of your life, Sleep, all that kind of stuff.
Speaker B:But I want you to figure out the why behind why you're stuck in doing this.
Speaker B:Because you know these truths about me, but you're not living it.
Speaker B:And a lot of it has to do with who you say you are to yourself, your identity.
Speaker B:So as I began exploring that and learning about that, I learned about how the brain works and how we can have these two dialogues in our head.
Speaker B:I began learning about, um, there's a lot of other people that I had been working with, with as other women I'd been working with, and they were kind of stuck in this.
Speaker B:So, and long story, I ended up eventually becoming certified as a neuro coach and certified through the ICF as a Christian coach or just as a coach, and began doing that work there.
Speaker B:And it's been incredible as God has brought that freedom in my life to be able to use the science side of it and the scripture together to help people understand how their bodies work and their mind works so that they can truly live fully for the Lord, Truly get in line with what he wants them to do and what to believe about themselves.
Speaker B:So it took a few.
Speaker B:Few years there, but that's how God has brought me from that place to here.
Speaker A:How did those lessons lead you to neuro coaching?
Speaker B:Well, I knew that I had to understand why this was happening in my mind because I.
Speaker B:I was someone who went to every Bible study, who was a committed follower of Christ for 22 years.
Speaker B:At that point, I mean, I was.
Speaker B:I didn't understand why I could know this truth, but it wasn't something that I was able to live from.
Speaker B:And so I began.
Speaker B:I've always kind of been fascinated with the brain and with science.
Speaker B:And so I began looking at, there's got to be something happening inside of me that needs to be fixed, that God was encouraging me to go deeper.
Speaker B:Don't just, like, find the hac or don't just try to, you know, make yourself be different.
Speaker B:What is.
Speaker B:What is the motivation here?
Speaker B:So as I began studying it, I realized there are these subconscious soundtracks that we have.
Speaker B:The way our.
Speaker B:That part of our brain works is, it's.
Speaker B:It's creating these habits and these truths.
Speaker B:And I say that in quotes because they're not truth, but they're the truths that our mind is operating from.
Speaker B:And if we aren't aware of what those are, we don't Learn ways, scientific ways to be able to change them.
Speaker B:Then they're going to keep running the show and that logical part of us and our, that part of our brain are going to be in conflict.
Speaker B:So learning about that and seeing that freedom in my own self, when I could get those two in alignment, those two parts of my brain in alignment, then it was, it was like, yes, I want to teach this to other people too and help them.
Speaker A:So you wrote a book, Emotional Confidence and you focus on intersection of science and scripture.
Speaker A:So tell us about the overview of your book.
Speaker B:The book Emotional Confidence is the book that I wish that I had had through all of these years of myself figuring out that, you know, I had that messaging in me of emotions are bad.
Speaker B:Emotions are not something I should even listen to.
Speaker B:They get in the way of what I want to do.
Speaker B:I just, I should just follow God.
Speaker B:Then I'm just going to follow God and ignore everything else.
Speaker B:And the book's premise is truly, it teaches a three part method to help us partner with God to manage emotions.
Speaker B:And it's truly two things.
Speaker B:It's to help all of us understand that God made us with emotions.
Speaker B:Emotions are indicators of what's going on inside us.
Speaker B:And we can feel that feeling, but we don't have to let it rule how we respond.
Speaker B:We can feel both.
Speaker B:And that God wants to have a relationship with us in this area of our life too.
Speaker B:He wants to help us.
Speaker B:These are opportunities for us to lean into that and to let him guide us through this process.
Speaker B:So my, the point of this book is to give us that, that freedom and knowledge about how the mind works from that perspective, but also to give us a very practical way to work with God.
Speaker B:More than just oh, give it to God or just pray about it, which are sometimes, which are obviously true.
Speaker B:But what does that look like?
Speaker B:What does that look like in the everyday when we're really struggling with anger, disappointment, the everyday things that we feel, how can we have a practical way to walk through that?
Speaker B:So that's what the book addresses.
Speaker A:So how do you hope readers will benefit from implementing these three steps in their daily lives?
Speaker B:I hope two things.
Speaker B:I hope first that they recognize that they are human and they're normal and they're going to have emotions, they're going to feel these up and down things.
Speaker B:It's part of how God wired us.
Speaker B:The other thing that I hope they recognize is that again, God is there, God is with us, and that we don't have to be afraid of what we're feeling.
Speaker B:We don't have to run from what we're feeling, that he's inviting us in through these little check engine lights happening in our soul to say, let me help you go to these deeper places.
Speaker B:Let me bring you to a deeper relationship with me and with the rest of this world and even your own other human relationships.
Speaker B:Let me help you through this.
Speaker B:So just an understanding that it's, it's okay to have these up and down feelings.
Speaker B:That's part of how we're wired and that we have a God who cares for us through this process and wants to help us and we can tap into that and practice it when.
Speaker A:I love that, that picture of check engine lights.
Speaker A:So how do you, how do you take those check engine lights, which is sometimes really toxic thoughts?
Speaker A:How do you help, how do you help people rewire those toxic thoughts?
Speaker B:So we teach in the book a three part method.
Speaker B:It's called add, which it's not that ADD that we all know about.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:It's acknowledge, discern and decide.
Speaker B:So I encourage people first to acknowledge.
Speaker B:The emotion is there.
Speaker B:You're not judging it as right or wrong at this point.
Speaker B:You're just saying it makes sense.
Speaker B:Sense that I'm feeling this way because whatever.
Speaker B:It makes sense that I'm stressed today because I got two hours of sleep and my kid woke up with a cold and I had to take the day off work and whatever, all the things, it makes sense why I'm a little more edge because of this.
Speaker B:So it makes sense.
Speaker B:That's the first part of the acknowledge.
Speaker B:And that's an important step.
Speaker B:But I think a lot of us skip that because we're just quick to go to the discern step of what do I need to believe?
Speaker B:What do you want me to believe here?
Speaker B:God?
Speaker B:And that's an important step.
Speaker B:But we first, we cannot neglect the fact that we need to be seen in our pain.
Speaker B:And Jesus sees us in that.
Speaker B:That's why we can lean into his compassion in that first step of acknowledge.
Speaker B:So we're leaning into his compassion and we're saying, you know, you see what I'm experiencing?
Speaker B:Then that next step, the first D, is to discern.
Speaker B:So we're discerning.
Speaker B:All right, so that's, that's what I'm feeling.
Speaker B:But what is true and what is not true about that?
Speaker B:What does God's word say is true about that and not true?
Speaker B:And what is just general truth that I know?
Speaker B:Am I doing some black and white thinking with this?
Speaker B:Am I going down this rabbit trail?
Speaker B:Am I attaching this other situation to it, how am I kind of, how is this emotion telling me things that aren't true?
Speaker B:So we're filtering that out, almost like going into a closet and getting rid of stuff that you're like, I want to keep this.
Speaker B:I don't want to keep this.
Speaker B:This is what I'm, I'm, I'm going to keep this pile over here.
Speaker B:Then in the decide step, we, we've looked at what we're feeling, we've seen what's true in it.
Speaker B:Then it's like, God, show me with.
Speaker B:Give me the courage to take that step that you want me to take with this.
Speaker B:What do you want me to do with this?
Speaker B:How do you want me to move forward?
Speaker B:What's that next best step?
Speaker B:And second half of that is where do you want me to emotionally dwell as a result of this?
Speaker B:Because we can process it, we can feel it, but if we go right back to the stress and the worry and that cycle, it's going to derail what we just did.
Speaker B:So it's that second part of Philippians 4 when it says, fix your thoughts on what's true, what's right, what's pure, what's lovely.
Speaker B:We're then deciding, okay, I felt all of this.
Speaker B:I see why it's reasonable.
Speaker B:God, this is the truth I'm focusing on.
Speaker B:And here's where I'm going to rest at the end of that, in hopefulness and expectancy that God's going to work it out.
Speaker B:I'm going to choose God's peace, whatever that is.
Speaker B:So that's the, that's the three steps that I encourage anyone to use as a way to manage emotions and to, to work through those things that can feel just really overwhelming emotionally in our head.
Speaker A:So going back to your own experience, how did, how would this, how would you approach your younger self with these three steps?
Speaker B:Well, I think I would have had to have a talk with my younger self first to say that it was okay to acknowledge that I had these feelings.
Speaker B:And I think that's where people have a hard time.
Speaker B:And it's so important because I would have thought, but I shouldn't feel that way, but I should.
Speaker B:There's all that shoulds, right?
Speaker B:I should just be happy, I should just be joyful.
Speaker B:I should be grateful.
Speaker B:And those are true.
Speaker B:But to get to the joy and the happy and the grateful, we got to work through this yucky in between sometimes.
Speaker B:So I don't.
Speaker B:I would have had to talk myself through the idea of being okay with the imperfect and the not knowing and the acknowledging some of the ick before I got to the other parts.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:And, you know, it's hard for us to admit the need for the.
Speaker A:For the.
Speaker A:To get through the ick.
Speaker A:Do you have tools to get people to acknowledge where they're at and how they're feeling?
Speaker A:Because I know as a guy, we see emotions and we, like, run from them like it's the plague.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:And it's not just guys anymore, but I think people in general.
Speaker A:How do you get people to sit in that so they can acknowledge it?
Speaker B:Okay, so then let me ask you that question in a different way then.
Speaker B:Help me figure out how to.
Speaker B:How to address it.
Speaker B:What keeps you from wanting to acknowledge it?
Speaker A:Well, it depends on what the feeling is.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Sometimes it's just like, grief is one that's really hard sometimes for me.
Speaker A:And I know it was.
Speaker A:I never noticed it, but every time I had to say goodbye, and it could just be I was visiting family and I was going back to college, and goodbyes were always hard, so I tried my best to avoid them and leave as soon as possible before we got to the part where the emotion was coming out.
Speaker A:And so you tried to run.
Speaker A:I tried to run from that.
Speaker A:And I'm like, why am I sad?
Speaker A:It's like, this is not a final goodbye.
Speaker A:But every goodbye felt final.
Speaker A:And so it was.
Speaker A:It was one of those things where it's like, how do you.
Speaker A:How do you just acknowledge the fact that, hey, I'm gonna miss this person?
Speaker A:But there are phones, there are letters, there's ways to connect.
Speaker A:You know, way before we had Internet and facetime and all the other kind of stuff, but it was like, you.
Speaker A:You.
Speaker A:It was hard to just kind of say goodbye.
Speaker A:And I never really could figure out why that was.
Speaker B:What other emotions would you feel?
Speaker B:Like, what do you would attach to that?
Speaker B:Like, if I say goodbye, that means this, or if I do.
Speaker B:You know what I'm saying?
Speaker B:Like, what might be underneath that?
Speaker B:I don't.
Speaker B:You know, we can go as deep as you want here with this.
Speaker B:My point in asking these questions is I think that it's a different answer for every person.
Speaker B:It is why they avoid.
Speaker B:Some people avoid because they have been told that emotions are bad, you shouldn't feel them.
Speaker B:Some people avoid because they've had bad experiences in their life where they let their emotions fly all over the place, or someone else let their emotions fly all over them, and they're like, I ain't touching that.
Speaker B:Like, they just want to Live in peace.
Speaker B:I'm just gonna stay right here, you know, whatever I have to do to keep the peace.
Speaker B:There's other people who step into that world of emotions, and they don't know what to do with them, so they're just spinning, spinning, spinning, spinning, spinning, spinning.
Speaker B:A lot of us don't have any tools, so we're like, if I open that box, what am I supposed to do with that?
Speaker B:I don't even know.
Speaker A:How do you turn it off?
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker B:Like, what.
Speaker B:How do I turn it off?
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And there's that fear of if I open this box, I'm going to be sobbing for the next two days.
Speaker B:I mean, truly.
Speaker B:And, And.
Speaker B:And that's.
Speaker B:That's.
Speaker B:Whether we say that out loud or not, that's in that split second where we decide to address it or not.
Speaker B:Or we're.
Speaker B:We're just like, okay, you know, that that is the kind of stuff that we need to kind of figure out.
Speaker B:What is that for you?
Speaker B:Why you.
Speaker B:I don't mean you necessarily personally.
Speaker B:You know, just whatever.
Speaker B:Whatever that would be for each person.
Speaker B:What would keep you from doing that?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:And so I feel like.
Speaker B:I hope that this book opens that dialogue to figuring out what has created that resistance for all of us with emotions and giving some very practical tools to be able to start to practice it.
Speaker B:Because it is emotional confidence.
Speaker B:It's a confidence of knowing that you're.
Speaker B:You're gonna have emotions, but that you're certain that you can be vulnerable before God about them and you don't have to run from them, push them down, eat them away, whatever we would do, that you can trust that process with God, that you can get to the other side, and it's not going to be as frightening to deal with them.
Speaker A:What kind of reaction are you getting.
Speaker B:From your book so far?
Speaker B:We've gotten a great reaction.
Speaker B:I feel like there's a lot of people who love the idea of the science and scripture together.
Speaker B:I think that's really new for a lot of people to think about those two together and the practical sides of it.
Speaker B:A lot of people appreciate that.
Speaker B:I'm a very practical person myself, so I appreciate.
Speaker B:Like, give me some guidelines, and I will say that the ADD method is a method.
Speaker B:It's not gospel.
Speaker B:It's not.
Speaker B:It's a framework.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:It's a.
Speaker B:It's a place to turn to, to help you.
Speaker B:It's helped tens of thousands of people, but it doesn't mean that it's going to be perfect for every person.
Speaker B:And, and you can Use it however you want, but at least it gives us a place to start.
Speaker B:And especially in the church, it gives us a place to, to have some conversation, to normalize emotion and being raw with each other.
Speaker B:I don't know if there's enough of that happening.
Speaker B:So I've heard some of that with people having book studies or, or doing things like that where they're like, I'm glad that I now can at least talk about this with friends and know how to address this and we can, you know, hold each other accountable and stuff like that.
Speaker B:So some, a lot of really good stuff.
Speaker A:So how does your neuroscience knowledge and the techniques you discuss meld with scripture?
Speaker A:I know people kind of going, it sounds great to mel scripture and science, but how does that actually work in, in the way your book is written out?
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:So I, I'm pretty sure we, I say it in the book somewhere, but I will say it here, that scripture is the ultimate authority of all things.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:It's the word of God and it is written by God.
Speaker B:It is, it is God's word in the same way science is God, what he has created in our world as part of creation.
Speaker B:He created the laws, he created our bodies, he created our brains.
Speaker B:So what I try to help unpack in the book is here are some basic information about how we process thoughts.
Speaker B:Here's some basic information about how our body reacts during certain emotional states.
Speaker B:Here's how to help switch us from, for example, the sympathetic fight or flight system nervous system to the parasympathetic nervous system, which is a calm and digestive and why that's important in managing emotions.
Speaker B:Trying to give very practical truths about science and how our bodies work so that it will help us make the right decision in the moment.
Speaker B:So that we're not just using willpower to try to manage an emotion because it's.
Speaker B:God has given us the ability.
Speaker B:We live in this amazing era where we have all this technology to see how the brain works, see how the body works?
Speaker B:We have never lived in a time where we have so much information about the body.
Speaker B:And if God made the body and he made science, doesn't it make sense to understand how he put us together so that we can better serve him?
Speaker B:So that our entire body can come under the alignment of the Holy Spirit.
Speaker B:So I just love being able to say, okay, here's some ideas.
Speaker B:You know, none of us are going to be.
Speaker B:And I am not, you know, a neuro expert, surgeon kind of person, you know, whatever.
Speaker B:I know what I've been trained to do in this area.
Speaker B:And it's, I love being able to share some of those things and equip people so that they can use that ultimately to serve God better and make better choices with their feelings throughout the day.
Speaker A:That's awesome.
Speaker A:So you're also the host of a top notch podcast, a Christian Mindset Coach.
Speaker A:So tell us about your podcast.
Speaker B:Yeah, the podcast is called the Christian Mindset Coach.
Speaker B:We actually this week it is our six week or six week, week, six year anniversary of doing the podcast.
Speaker B:So we've been podcasting a while.
Speaker B:I love doing podcasting.
Speaker B:The focus of the podcast is to share some of these things that we talk about around emotions, around how science and the Bible work together to help us manage our minds and that inner part of our lives.
Speaker B:To, yeah, just share knowledge again, start conversations on challenging people to think about it in a different way.
Speaker B:And we have guests on there as well.
Speaker B:But a lot of it is just me by myself too.
Speaker B:So it's, I love being able to do that and just to offer that out as a conversation starter for people, like a next step to get started in the process of it.
Speaker A:So they always ask me this question about my podcast.
Speaker A:I'm asking about your podcast.
Speaker A:What about your podcast resonates with your audience?
Speaker B:I try to.
Speaker B:Okay, so I think it kind of, you know, that question for every podcaster is going to be answered differently.
Speaker B:For me, I think it would depend on the values of each podcaster.
Speaker B:Like for me it's really important to be, to be vulnerable and truthful like a friend, like a best friend you're having a conversation with, to be knowledgeable about what you're talking about and to, to share facts, not just kind of fluff.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:To have I told you I like structure and formulas and paths versus just oh, just feel this kind of a thing.
Speaker B:So I would say that what people have told me they like about the podcast is it feels very conversational, very.
Speaker B:I'm willing to talk about vulnerable things and like you're just having a conversation over coffee with a friend.
Speaker B:And yet it's also highly practical.
Speaker B:Every episode we have a next step.
Speaker B:Like, here's what you need to do if you, if you're interested in how to take it home, try this this week or think about this.
Speaker B:Ask yourself this question.
Speaker B:So practical and relatable would be two words.
Speaker A:Yeah, I like that.
Speaker A:So you also are a coach and I always appreciate coaches.
Speaker A:So how do you, how do you take this, what you're doing and give practical, brain based, biblically based tools to their coaching clients as you work with.
Speaker B:So there's kind of two different areas of how I mentally structure the different types of clients I work with.
Speaker B:There's one set of client that is really wanting to work on emotional issues, like, more like surface level stuff.
Speaker B:I have a membership club that is called the Emotional Confidence Club.
Speaker B:And the purpose of that is to help people who have read the book begin implementing these things in their everyday life and to have a community of people who are also doing that in very, like imperfect, take three steps forward, two steps, backs kind of way.
Speaker B:So I love that.
Speaker B:For me, I think of that as almost a first step into this foray of emotions because I also deal with the other side, which is I have a program called the Christian Mindset Makeover.
Speaker B:And that's similar to more one on one work that I do with clients too, where these are people who have said, I know that I don't feel enough no matter what I do.
Speaker B:I struggle with perfectionism, I struggle with people pleasing.
Speaker B:I struggle with these deeper issues.
Speaker B:And maybe some of the people who start off working with emotions get to that as they're digging through it, they're like, oh, I see these deeper patterns, but these are the people that we use a technique called brain priming to rewire and change the neural pathways that are associated with those things in our subconscious mind so that they align with God's word.
Speaker B:So that, like we were talking about before, the subconscious mind, how that works.
Speaker B:So that program is much more in depth and, and work with that in that area.
Speaker B:Like, obviously the managing emotions side is too, but sometimes people have to start in the emotion side and then realize, oh, there's some deeper stuff we need to work through here.
Speaker B:So those are kind of the two sides that I think of them as.
Speaker A:Yeah, I love that.
Speaker A:So here's, here's my vision question for you.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker A:Where do you see?
Speaker A:What's your vision for your podcast and your coaching and your emotional confidence track down the road.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:I feel like the.
Speaker B:The podcast is something that is a great kind of free will offering.
Speaker B:As a podcaster, you get this where we're just sharing this knowledge and encouragement out there, and then these other things are little steps into the water of how they feel comfortable working with it or how it relates to them.
Speaker B:I love the idea of this membership and this club that we're doing, and I love doing this deeper work, so continuing with that.
Speaker B:But I'm also really fascinated and it makes me happy and excited to do work in person.
Speaker B:So I Have a vision of having smaller retreats, maybe weekend retreats where we could go deep and really work through some stuff that make would take us, you know, a month to work through, you know, as a one on one client, but just really go through some stuff.
Speaker B:Um, I'm having my first retreat this fall.
Speaker B:It's kind of, it's kind of unconventional.
Speaker B:Usually don't do it like this, but my first, it's a 10 day retreat.
Speaker B:It's in Italy of all places.
Speaker B:Like typically you would do a local retreat down at your, you know, San Diego or something.
Speaker B:Yeah, right.
Speaker B:Like something close by.
Speaker B:Long story, but God allowed me to go on a trip there and met.
Speaker B:I met a couple that runs these.
Speaker B:Then that was the one I was on.
Speaker B:It was something similar and I was like, if I could ever plan this, like that been in my head and she's like, well, let's do it.
Speaker B:So we're starting at that.
Speaker B:That's where we're starting this fall is, is in Italy doing it for 10 days.
Speaker B:But I would like to be able to kind of backtrack in the next few years and create opportunities for people to come together in person.
Speaker B:Because there's just magic that happens when you can look at someone face to face and just hold their hand and cry with them and help them through and tell them you're with them.
Speaker B:You know, it's just, it's magical.
Speaker B:So I want to be able to offer that in the next few years too.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Well, as an expert emotional confidence person, what would you say?
Speaker B:No pressure.
Speaker A:No pressure.
Speaker A:Giving you this, this, this curveball for you to hit.
Speaker B:Oh, gosh, I'm afraid.
Speaker A:Just laying it up there for you.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker A:What do you think are the most common misconceptions about managing your emotions that you address in your book and in your.
Speaker A:And also in your podcast?
Speaker B:Yeah, I think the.
Speaker B:Well, emotions are bad.
Speaker B:Emotions are not something that God wants us to even really worry about.
Speaker B:That we should just focus on.
Speaker B:On his word and that's it.
Speaker B:That.
Speaker B:Yeah, that we, we just shouldn't have anything to do with them.
Speaker B:Like there's kind of two schools of thought where it's like emotions are, are not something to be involved with and just focus on God's word and make yourself believe truth.
Speaker B:There's that side and then there's the other side that says, follow your feelings.
Speaker B:Let your emotions be your guide.
Speaker B:Let your emotions tell you what to do.
Speaker B:And I'm trying to say, let's go in the middle.
Speaker B:Let's use our emotions as almost Like a sixth sense.
Speaker B:Like if you can touch, taste, see, hear the world around us.
Speaker B:What if our emotions are our soul's way of responding to what's happening with other humans?
Speaker B:With, I think, within creation, within God himself?
Speaker B:What if it's our soul's response to what's happening?
Speaker B:And our soul's response isn't going to be perfect because we are in imperfect bodies.
Speaker B:However, it's a sensory coming in, and so how can we take that in?
Speaker B:And how can we be in that middle place of.
Speaker B:It's not gonna.
Speaker B:We don't want it to run our lives, but we also recognize it's part of how we were made as humans.
Speaker B:And God wants to help us have it come under alignment with His Word.
Speaker B:So what could that look like?
Speaker B:And that's what I try to help people discover in the book and in coaching.
Speaker A:I love that.
Speaker A:So here's my other favorite question.
Speaker A:This is an easy one.
Speaker B:It's an easy one.
Speaker A:Yeah, I think it's easy, but some of the guests disagree.
Speaker A:But.
Speaker B:Okay, give me a softball here.
Speaker B:Okay, good.
Speaker A:What do you want your legacy to be?
Speaker B:That's.
Speaker B:Oh, that's real easy.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker A:Gosh.
Speaker B:Now you're talking about legacy with my family or legacy with career?
Speaker A:You get to pick.
Speaker B:How would you define that?
Speaker A:You get to choose.
Speaker B:Oh, I get to choose.
Speaker B:Gosh, Overall, I just want to.
Speaker B:I want people to know God.
Speaker B:I mean, I know that sounds so cliche and simple.
Speaker B:I just want them to know God as a real being that wants to know them, that wants to be in a relationship with them, that cares about them.
Speaker B:And so whatever tools that I have as a mom, as a wife, what can I do to help bring his light into their life and let that be the legacy?
Speaker B:Because we can accomplish all kinds of things and they're not going with us.
Speaker B:It's the mark we're leaving in other people's lives.
Speaker B:So what can I do with the talents and the experiences or whatever he's given me that's a gift from Him?
Speaker B:What can I do to let that be a light to others?
Speaker B:And I think of that, especially with our kids, especially as they're getting older, you know, we.
Speaker B:We can't make their choices for them.
Speaker B:They get to decide how they want to welcome or not welcome the truths that we've taught them about God and His Word, and to just, I think, be that open vessel to be whatever, however we need to love in those situations, to help them to see God is.
Speaker B:Is my goal always.
Speaker B:Especially, can you tell I have teens and 20 years.
Speaker B:This is, this is how I, you know, and we just, we just see that, like, just.
Speaker B:It doesn't mean that you don't have boundaries.
Speaker B:It doesn't mean that you don't say, like, this is.
Speaker B:Oh, everything's okay.
Speaker B:But at the end of the day, we love you, God loves you.
Speaker B:We're not going to slam the door.
Speaker B:We're here, you know, So I love that.
Speaker B:Just.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Where can people find you and connect with you on social media?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker B:So you can find me at my website, which is Alicia Michelle dot com.
Speaker B:And that's a L I C I A M I C H E L L e dot com.
Speaker B:You can get a free first chapter of the book.
Speaker B:So you can get the chapter one of the book for free there.
Speaker B:And then also, I like Instagram.
Speaker B:That's my main place to hang out.
Speaker B:So at Alicia Michelle Coach is a great place to find me there.
Speaker B:And I truly like to have conversations with people, so I will, I will respond.
Speaker B:I like having direct messages, like even getting on the phone and just saying, how are you?
Speaker B:How can I encourage you with where you're at?
Speaker B:Like, so go to Instagram and follow me.
Speaker B:Sure, whatever.
Speaker B:But have conversations.
Speaker B:Let's connect.
Speaker B:If there's any of what we've talked about today resonates.
Speaker B:Yeah, I would love sincerely to connect with you.
Speaker B:So eshamichellecoach on Instagram, and of course, the Christian Mindset Coach podcast is my podcast, so any of those would be great.
Speaker A:Well, Alicia, thanks so much for taking the time and hopefully we can become more emotionally confident from this podcast conversation that we've had.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:Thank you so much, Keith, for having me today.
